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Original poster

Mum told to stop breastfeeding at Portsmouth Historic Dockyard

24 replies

LocalEditorPortsmouth · 13/03/2014 16:33

Full story here: www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/health/local-health/national-museum-of-the-royal-navy-apologises-to-mum-told-to-stop-breastfeeding-1-5933064

What are your experiences of breastfeeding in public in Portsmouth?

OP posts:

calamitygin · 13/03/2014 17:07

'While I was doing that, a male staff member came up to me, pointed his finger and said “we don’t do that here”'

yes don't do that here love, stay at home WHERE YOU BELONG

courgetteDOTcom · 13/03/2014 17:27

If baby is legal to be there, it's legal to feed them!

I'm not sure what the member of staff got confused about!

What's nice to see from this and the story in the Midlands is that attitudes are changing.

Notagymbunny · 13/03/2014 17:28

I didn't care where I breast fed, if my boy wanted feeding I fed him. I didn't flaunt it but once baby's on you can't see anything. There's more bare flesh on the front of most glossy's (& the high street now the suns coming out)

In fact in ASDA I was complimented by a lady & husband (approx 70) on breastfeeding it made me smiley for the rest of the day.

Perhaps midwives should hand out business cards to breastfeeding mums to hand out

'If it offends don't look & Fuck off'

Humm does swearing lower the tone?... actually if someone is rude enough to be aggressive & interrupt lunch they probably deserve it.

diamondlizard · 13/03/2014 17:41

that man should be sacked

fuckwit

Longtalljosie · 13/03/2014 17:45

Lovely editorial - it's linked from the main story

SoapsandScents · 13/03/2014 17:50

So that's twice this week in the UK that a mum has been shamed whilst breastfeeding. This is deeply saddening. I'm just happy she isn't demoralised and was willing to make the story public. . . . y'know, so that people can learn from the experience.

HappyToBeInHampshire · 13/03/2014 17:54

Probably the same one who kept yelling at my DCs on HMS Victory every time they so much as touched the ropes that keep you out of certain areas.

Good editorial. I went to school with the editor!

Original poster

LocalEditorPortsmouth · 13/03/2014 18:10

I've just posted on the blog about this: Breastfeeding in Portsmouth

OP posts:

Willemdefoeismine · 13/03/2014 18:39

It is deeply saddening and horrifying to find such bigoted behaviour in this day and age....

Out and about on my travels I've noticed that breastfeeding in public seems to have gone out of fashion majorly in the past ten years or so. It's a deeply sad state of affairs if women no longer feel able to do so for fear of ridicule or downright malice - GRRRRRR.

Mind you, the only time I ever really experienced deep seated bigotry towards breastfeeding my DC was during a trip to a major political party HQ (and not the one you may naturally think it would be!)

Homebird8 · 13/03/2014 18:49

"We don't do that here."

I'd have been inclined to retort "That's because you're a man dear."

Biology wasn't his strong point was it? Babies and milk go together. Men joining in with the provision (bar the essential supporting roles of bringing tea and cake or wine ) do not.

Buckeyedjim · 13/03/2014 19:11

Since he was breaking the law, why is an apology considered to be enough? Why did the article not mention the law?

courgetteDOTcom · 13/03/2014 19:45

Yeah, they should be grovelling so the mother doesn't take it further. We could do with a nice test case on this.

MNBirminghamLocalEd · 13/03/2014 22:25

This is why I never went out with my first child (who wanted to bf for England). The first time I went out to a museum cafe with my DH and MIL, I was ordered to take my 4 week old to the loos. Awful.

MistressDeeCee · 13/03/2014 22:38

As soon as I saw this incident happened in Portsmouth, I knew exactly where it would be.

Most of the male staff there are utter bigots. I did some freelance stuff for kids there years ago. Every time I & colleague went out for lunch, on our return we were asked to show ID. & we were there for 2 weeks, daily including weekends. I forgot to bring ID with me 1 day and they made such a deal of it & making me hang around, I didnt work that day. Which disappointed parents & kids waiting for session.

Now - if I go out at 1pm & return 2pm, a mere 1 hour later - then, you know its me. It was a racist thing. Done very aggressively

They also had a quiet word with a woman who was breastfeeding during a kids activity session (shock/horror!) and she left. So they have form for doing this kind of thing before. We were supposed to do a month, 2 weeks was enough. I cba any longer, I think they're throwbacks from 3 centuries ago

gelati3 · 13/03/2014 23:18

Amazing how ignorant some people can be. How can any intelligent person be offended by breastfeeding? It's one of the most natural, nurturing things a mother can do for her baby.

Arismama · 13/03/2014 23:51

What's worse is some of the reader comments saying some women just do it and look all defiant and attention seeking. WHAT? when I b-fed my DD I was simply trying my very best not to attract attention. I wanted nothing more than for everyone to just go about with their lives while I got on with mine. It's not bloody easy especially when you have a colicky baby with a poor latch and all you want to do is get them to stop arching their back and flinging the muslin off screaming and exposing your bare nipple to the whole of Starbucks and attitudes like this ignoramus make it even harder for women who might already feel out of their comfort zone. When are people going to realise?!

cdwales · 14/03/2014 08:42

If only civilised folk - women and men - stepped up and supported the Mum in these situations! Such solidarity would be so joyous - though baby would only be interested in one thing...

lottiegarbanzo · 14/03/2014 09:42

I wonder whether the staff member was 'confused' or the employer had failed to train him properly? Why did he think 'we don't do that here' was the venue's policy? Or, think he had the freedom to express his own prejudices and preferences while working?

It would be good to see the spokesperson say they would be doing some staff training on this issue to make sure all staff are clear on their current policy. It's an easy thing to say but not a difficult to do either.

Obviously the venue is desperate to avoid responsibility, so the 'confused individual' line is convenient. I really hope that, behind the scenes, they are getting their act together fast and briefing all staff.

SeniorWranglered · 14/03/2014 10:08

if you can't breastfeed in a creche, where the hell else are you supposed to go, FFS?

curiousgeorgie · 14/03/2014 10:09

I couldn't feed my DD's, so didn't have any experience of this and assumed everyone was very accepting of a woman feeding her baby, until I went shopping with my SIL and her young son and a man reduced her to tears in a restaurant we were having lunch in by telling her they had a baby change and there was a chair in there.

She had a breast feeding apron thing on and I was sitting right opposite her and couldn't see a thing, so there was no way anyone else could.

She actually stopped feeding him when she was out after that and used to take very short trips and rush home before 3 hours was up.

Very sad.

Arismama · 14/03/2014 12:56

Curious, stories like that are so disappointing in this day and age. I do think there are and always will be people who stick their beaks in where not welcome. People who assume you actually want their opinion. I hope this becomes less and less though. Would be good in instances like that to hand them an info pack on why what they are saying is wrong, and send them on their way!

HappyToBeInHampshire · 14/03/2014 18:40

On South Today now

courgetteDOTcom · 14/03/2014 19:01

I think in a way when you use covers that you are putting out already that you are not comfortable with what you're doing and people who would say something pick up on it. I think there's less to see when you do it without a cover because it just looks like a cuddle.

I'm not defending that because I think women should be free to feed how they are comfortable whether they want to be covered or uncovered and that harassment should have the same legal status it has in Scotland where you can dial 999 and they get a £1k fine.

thekitchenfairy · 17/03/2014 09:14

I think it's a real shame that these stories are surfacing in the UK at the moment. Have to say I never managed to crack the whole public feeding thing, first few times I tried it I got upset by the stares and the pointing and never carried on. It kept me home more than I would have liked.

This was going back 10 years or so and my 2 are beyond the baby years now, but really disappointed to see attitudes are unchanged.

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