West London chat winter & beyond

[tillyfernackerpants]

Hadn't realised we were so close to filling up the last thread, hope you all find it!!

sfx, how awful for minisfx . The advice I've seen on other similar threads is to keep on at the school, ask for their bullying policy, if necessary get head teacher involved. I think going directly to the parents is not always the best idea, the school might not have said anything to them or they might just be blind to their children's behaviour. Hth, and that things get better

Kew, no recommendations unfortunately. Having said that, we do have a guy coming round tonight to quote for a new boiler so I could always ask if he wants another bit of work?

Thanks tilly, dh is just saying we should support her and not make much of a fuss, that it is school life, but I strongly disagree, and he know and complains about how relentless it is

It is hard, I can see where your dh is coming from but I remember my parents taking that line with me (just ignore them, they'll get bored etc) and it doesn't help. I guess its finding a balance between being supportive and letting them deal with it on their own and making sure the school deal with it. But if she doesn't want to go to school because of it then to me it sounds slightly more serious than just children falling out over nothing.

Sfx - sorry to hear DD being harrassed I agree with Tilly best to go to teacher's direct and have a word until resolved. Sadly it probably is part of school life but don't think that's any reason not to make a fuss about it.

KC - only advice is to see if you can get plumber familiar with your boiler make as it will save you a lot of hassle.

I'm pleasantly surprised how relaxing today has been so far. It was so exhausting doing lunch time pick up as it always clashed with DS2's lunch/nap and it meant the morning's activities were so manic and I was with one or both kids all day so it felt like I didn't get a min. I'm enjoying the peace now while Ds2 sleeps! But it does feel weird not having DS1 around

vbus, it is nice having those couple of hours tbh, I was so happy when ds1 went back to school so I could get those back

vbus it is weird not having them around and sometime later we just go, oh no pick time already? still have stuff to do

about the kid it is weird she wants an exclusive friendship, so all fine when she gets dd to play with her but as soon as she wants to include or go and play with someone else the trouble starts, we have had grabbing face and screaming loudly in her face, I have witnessed this btw, also got her face drawn on, at one point dd was getting friendly with another child and she cause so much grief that dd gave and said it was not worth it, she does not actually play much with her other friends at school in school iyswim, but I have heard them talking about it
the thing is dd does not find it easy making friends and this is making it all worst

on a different note the child's name is the same as her uncle's ex wife, she told him out of the blue at Christmas 'you know I think girls named X start out fine and then go mad' I had to laugh

sfx, imho I would get the school more involved with dealing with this, the teacher, ta & head teacher as its really out of order. If its still going on then they obviously haven't handled the situation very well. Do you know if they have spoken to the parents at all?

dd used to like playing with her, at first, then started feeling uncomfortable, I know the child was spoken to, there were other behaviours I found terribly odd and worthy of mentioning to TA
the parents are a huge problem, they have witnessed plenty but say nothing, we have tried all spending time together so that we can all sort of mediate but is useful, we just keep getting loads of gifts, as if that is going to make a difference

I mean it is useless as they say nothing

Sfx - that sounds awful I would pursue with teachers, hope they can get through to the parents somehow. LOL at DD's comment though

Tilly - I used to have this time off when DS1 was at nursery and forgot how useful/nice it was! Been asleep though for past hr as bad headache suddenly came on. This happened last night, I think my body is fighting off a cold or worse. And guess what, it's soon pick up time, let's see how he enjoyed his 1st full day!

SFX, sorry you are having worries, this sort of thing does seem to happen sometimes, indeed dd had a parallel situation at the old school with the 'best friend' who she rapidly went off as she had started hitting and getting v possessive when dd wanted to play with other friends. And now at the new school we are having a bullying scenario on a regular basis with some smaller boys in the year below! School is not dealing with it in an acceptable way plus it is awkward as I know the parents and have mentioned it but nothing has changed. In fact, today was the first-day back post hols and dd is home reporting of hair pulling, hitting etc etc and teacher not doing anything about it and so I am going to have to have a face-to-face with her tomorrow!

Vbus, hope you're not coming down with something. Today is the first day I have felt vaguely human for over two weeks the fluey virus was followed by a sinusitis chaser which was almost worse in terms of pain. Roll on spring/summer!

Kids are watching a dvd at the moment, both knackered, it was a shock having to be kicked out of bed to get ready for school!

Am really looking forward to seeing the Colin Firth movie plus there is a new one directed by Clint Eastwood that looks like a good prospect.

Has anyone booked any hols yet? That is top of my TO DO list!

westwing hi glad to hear you are feeling better
sorry about your dd it is incredibly hard to deal with it when the other parents seem oblivious to the problem

I spoke to the teacher today, before going in I asked dd how it went and she said 'ok she wasn't too horrible today' and then went off to one of her friend's house to play
(still not home I miss her)

anyway back to the double class at the gym tomorrow, my last too jogs were pitiful I am obviously in need of a kick

Hello!

Been out and about, to nice dim sum/lobster noodle place in paddington and then on to Science Museum. Exhausted now. School tomorrow.

vbus - hope you are OK and hope Ds1 had a nice first day back!

Sorry to hear about school problems. I think definitely hound school. Don't have experience but imagine I would ask for anti-bullying policies and ask to know concrete steps put in to support child and hound them till their lives would not be worth living.

sfx - does possessive child behave the same with parents around?

copper sounds like a nice day
as for the parents oh yes they see and do nothing at all, even pushing and hitting still nothing, just try to give us presents all the time

and vbus hope headache has not progressed to something worst

Sfx - weird about the present giving - to mask the guilt maybe? you should start to refuse them and they might start getting the message

Westwing - sorry to hear your having problems too, good luck with talk with teacher

Copper - sounds like good day out

The headaches are strange as I hardly ever get them but today was really bad. I took paracetmol and felt better after that thanks. I had a few aches before Christmas and was really tired. I thought I was coming down with something then but it never really happened. I guess the bug or whatever it is hasn't really gone away but I don't feel ill iykwim.

Anwyay DS1 had a great 1st day but said he missed DS1 and me and could we come to school with him tomorrow

no no no you are not delivering - I need a good plumber

a good plumber where to find them indeed I think vbus was right about finding someone who is familiar with your kind of boiler

what a dreary day, study I think, I am so behind

Good plumbers are indeed like finding a pot of gold, hope you find someone soon

Sfx - how is study going?
It is such a miserable day, not v.inspiring

Just had friend over this morning which was nice

Going out in Richmond for friend's birthday tonight, looking fwd to that

postman just delivered some of MIL delicious Christmas cake,evil evil woman

vbus study ok, thanks and interesting but am well behind, trying to do a weeks worth of work in a couple of days until I catch up

• just read lots on the MMR thing from the point of view of how different types of evidence and expert opinion is perceived, interesting but can't spend much time on it as not fundamental part of next essay

also can't do next course starting in Feb due to lack of cash, so deferring until the Summer, could be worst

have fun tonight
I am trying to plan something special for birthday but most gigs uninspiring and theatre all booked up

will email you later re Wales
am determined to visit both Wales and Scotland this year, and give abroad a miss this year
Still not sure which festival to attend, CampB popular with dd but I am hoping for better music

Enjoy your cake DH& I bit diappointed MIL didn't give us any of the huge slab of cake she made to take back with us, I'm sure it was on oversight on her part as he usually does

Pity about deferring course, at least you get a break from it and can start fresh later in the year

Pondering festival options too. May do Camp B as we like that part of the world plus you said it was fun. Although we might go there at Easter for a holiday...

Westwing - how are you getting on with hols planning? Friend who came round this morning invited me to go for long girly wkend skiing, I'm sooooo tempted!

I'm going to get stuck into reading stuff about building planning etc, bound to send me to sleep soon

Ohhh vbus, so you are going to say yes to the ski-ing? How fab!

Had a disappointingly small piece of cake this morning as ds nabbed it all! Was teeming with rain here and so ds and I had a quick haircut then off to a cafe/on to play centre. He seems to be dropping his lunchtime nap and is brimming with energy and exuberance! Although from 5pm onwards is a challenge, I must say, hmm.

Re: hols - well, we need to factor in a couple of trips to N Ireland and so the budget is tight, everything is so pricey during the hols - am looking at a farm stay in North Devon, a fab place with animal feeding, swimming pool, indoor/outdoor toys etc. Plan to nab dh tonight and make a decision and book as a fair few things that I have looked at are already fully booked by the more organised!

Am keen to head to Paris again soon too - have Eurostar vouchers that are burning a hole in my pocket. THe thing is - finding some family-friendly accommodation. Have been to Paris loads in the past but never with children, which kind of changes things!

Vbus hope you had a nice evening out :)

SFX that's really :( about DD and the girl harassing her, its very odd the parents giving gifts but not dealing weith it

Agree you should persue with school, particularly if DD is reluctant to attend as a result of the other child. You can at least ask them to monitor and intervene if the girl gets physical with DD on school grounds. Also help DD with some strategies to cope with her (I'm sure you are doing this already), like walking away or telling the teacher

Its a good idea for her to play with other children, at least she will have some friends who don't exhibit aggressive behaviour towards her.

Can you further help her strengthen her links with the other girls in her class, to maybe dilute the troublesome one a bit, through the playdates route as you've done already?

It might be worth chatting to the parents, to say DD gets upset as their daughter hits her etc then at least its pushes them to acknowledge it.

Copper I now somehow have a vision of you in a grey dress, with one purple leg and one red leg, like a harlequin!