Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Living overseas

Whether you're considering emigrating or an expat abroad, you'll find likeminds on this forum.

Original poster

Living In America ..You say Goodbye, I say Hello, ...

611 replies

kickassangel · 04/07/2009 14:46

New Thread.

OP posts:
Original poster
kickassangel · 08/10/2009 01:49

hi ratherbe! boston is a lovely city. lucky you.

bunkups, depends slightly from one area to another, but it seems to be quite 'organised' just through sheer custom

dd's school will do dressing up & have a parade through town. (fri)

on sat night, mainly between 6 & 8 pm, kids in fancy dress will wander around the 'neighbourhood'. if a house has lights on & halloween decorations outside, they knock on the door, shout 'trick or treat' & get given a pice of candy.

i have heard of some places where they have lights on & just leave a bucket of candy outside, or where people sit at the end of their drive. there will prob be some houses that are 'known' for being decorated, that you should head towards.

If you're really new to your area & don't feel like you can do this (terribly unbritish), you can head to the nearest mall, where all the shops give out candy & freebies. i got some nice miniature stuff from the body shop last year, but dh was upset that the mac shop didn't hand out anything. we'd just arrived & were still living in a hotel, so it we went to the mall, which is a lot WARMER.

If your kids are young & you don't want to wander around ouside, you can stay home, turn on the lights & put some pumpkins out. Check with your neighbours, they'll know the regular time for this.

have never heard o fmay baskets, though!

OP posts:
Shanster · 08/10/2009 02:12

Maybe it is just a southern thing but last year I was home waiting for all the kids to knock on the door for their trick or treat, but nobody came, and being PG at the time I fell asleep. DH came home and told me that the reason for the lack of 'trick or treaters' was the porch light - apparently if the porch light is on then the kids know they are welcome. Luckily he got home in time for us to switch the light on and get rid of the ton of chocolate I had bought. So...if you have a porch light, make sure it is turned on. Other than that, I continue to be baffled by the Halloween decorated homes. Not my cup of tea...

dooneygirl · 08/10/2009 02:48

Your porch light MUST be on if you want Trick or Treaters.

Preschools here usually have them dress up and have a party for that day. It is pretty standard to have them bring one piece of candy for each child.

I'm surprised your teacher doesn't tell you what they are supposed to bring. I don't know anyone who hasn't had it spelled out for them what they need to do, even though we've lived here all our lives and it is common knowledge. And what on earth is a May Day basket?

Original poster
kickassangel · 08/10/2009 04:01

oh, and they wear any kind of costume, not just scary ones.

OP posts:
dooneygirl · 08/10/2009 04:14

Actually, at least around here, scary ones are VERY looked down upon for that age. Could be different where you are, but pretty much every preschool that I have friends' kids at have specifically said no scary costumes, and the same for DS's Kindergarten party.

Bunkups33 · 08/10/2009 14:50

Thanks all. I will stock up on candy then! Kids have dressing up stuff so that should be fine.

May Day baskets appeared on the dooorstep from all the neighbour kids - they were basically paper cups filled with candy and tiny toys. Must be an Iowa thing.

CheerfulYank · 08/10/2009 15:52

We sometimes do May Day baskets in Minnesota too, but it's rare. My mother-in-law brings them to us and sometimes we make them at the elementary school where I work.

Halloween is just as everyone has said: leave your light on and no scary costumes for little ones. (DS is going as a train conductor this year given his serious Thomas addiction )

Also, don't know if this is just in Minnesota or not but convicted pedophiles are required to put up a "no candy here" sign so steer clear of those!

Bunkups33 · 08/10/2009 19:40

Kickass free stuff at the mall sounds like fun!

I think DD1 and DS will probably want to be pirates this year. I guess I'll have to get a costume for the baby!

Original poster
kickassangel · 08/10/2009 22:45

my mum will be over on a visit when it's halloween, so i've sent her an email asking if she wants me to get her a costume. it ended with the line
do you want warts?
kind, aren't i?

OP posts:
TuppyGlossop · 08/10/2009 23:20

Halloween here has grown on me now I understand it a little more. Around here it is the only holiday that everyone celebrates so people really go to town with the decorations. I bought myself a tasteful red and black polyester number from Target in the sale last year and I will be wearing that - without warts! I have to draw the line.
Cheerful Yank - I used to live in Minnesota and loved it. You are very lucky!

Bunkups33 · 09/10/2009 15:16

So do I have to dress up? Will I stick out a mile if I don't?

Back to target this afternoon I think.

CheerfulYank · 09/10/2009 15:55

Thanks, tuppy. I love it here too. Where are you now?

TuppyGlossop · 09/10/2009 18:11

I am sorry Bunkups I did not mean to suggest you had to dress-up! In my neighbourhood people are quite extrovert so that is why they dress-up - the children love it too! You really do not have to - unless of course you need to embrace your inner Vampiress Bride of course. My DD is desperate for my Dh and I to be a plug and socket but I draw the line!
I used to live in Woodbury just outside St.Paul and have now moved south to Illinois.

jabberwocky · 09/10/2009 20:10

Dh and I always dress up! It's just too much fun. We used to live in a town where a friend threw fabulous adult Halloween parties with a costume contest. I don't think we are doing anything like that this year but will still don a costume to take the boys trick or treating.

Original poster
kickassangel · 11/10/2009 02:25

I am really getting into the american way of having 'seasonal' things in the house. i have a candy bowl for easter, and have just bought one for fall(pretty bowl i can keep out, which dd can put candy into), and think i'll get one for christmas.

dh is not so impressed.

OP posts:
jabberwocky · 11/10/2009 03:03

Oh, it's fun, isn't it? I have a cornucopia that I like to put on the table in the fall with vegetables spilling out - cute sparkly veggie ornaments from Pier One haven't had a chance to get it out this year...

CheerfulYank · 12/10/2009 01:43

I LOVE seasonal stuff! Did not realize it was my Americanism coming out We have a bench outside and I arrange different things on it depending on the time of year. I love the sound of your sparkly veggies jabberwocky

Original poster
kickassangel · 12/10/2009 01:55

ok, so who here is on an H4 visa?

i've heard (can't remember where from) that i'm not even allowed to do volunteer work? how true is that?

dd is in school ft, and although i keep myself buys, i really miss having 'work mates'. don't miss the work quite so much, but actually have quite alow threshold for shopping & lunches. once we've got sorted with furniture & it's too cold to do the garden, i will be kicking my heels here. doesn't help that dd's teacher doesn't like having parents in, and has yet to respond to my offer of weekly reading help (and there's me, a literacy teacher...)

so, does anyone know if i can do some kind of volunteering? would just like to do 1 or 2 dyays a week to keep myself busy, but not wanting to violate visa, obv.

OP posts:
CheerfulYank · 12/10/2009 02:02

Holy hell, kickass! That's odd about your DD's teacher. If you mentioned wanting to help at the elementary school where I work, they'd snap you up in a heartbeat.

I don't know anything about the legalities of a visa obviously so I'm no help here, but it's great that you want to help out and I hope you find/are allowed to do something.

Original poster
kickassangel · 12/10/2009 02:18

i know, i'm not happy about it - last year i was in class nearly every week, and would happily have done more!

i am trying to set up a cultural exchange between dd's school & one where my friend is headteacher back in the UK. i'm just used to the kind of village school where everyone walks in, knows everyone else, chats together type thing. here, they get on the bus & you pretty much know nothing more about them til they get home. i find it v frustrating.

apparently the librarian wants help, but i just find being in a library SO dull. i've done that, both in public library & school one, and just go stir crazy. if the exchange idea doesn't get going, i may have to resort to doing that, and 'shush'ing the kids!

OP posts:
CheerfulYank · 12/10/2009 15:51

A cultural sxchange sounds fantastic! I'm patriotic as all get out, but I'm the first to admit we don't know nearly enough about other countries. That's a fabulous idea!I hope someone does cool projects like that when DS is in school.

jabberwocky · 15/10/2009 01:31

That's what I like about ds1's school being an IB program. He gets a bit more of the different cultures than in a regular public school. The first day I helped out last year a little girl looked at me quite precociously and said "My mother is from England. Have you ever been there?"

tadjennyp · 15/10/2009 04:22

I have an L2 visa and had to apply separately for a work permit (not that I have got a job yet). Maybe the best thing to do is to go on the visa section of the US embassy website and check out the information there? Also have a look at the USCIS website as there is a lot of information there. Hope that helps!

Original poster
kickassangel · 15/10/2009 04:30

thanks, tadjenny. i've llooked there, but it's as clear as mud!

OP posts:
nooka · 15/10/2009 05:01

Try asking on the American section of British Expats, or looking at their Wikis/old threads. Take a hard hat though, they are a little abrasive!

I have a feeling that the rules are to make sure that no foreigners take US jobs by stealth, so things that are traditionally done by volunteers are probably OK (helping in school, being nice to old folk etc).

We are really looking forward to Halloween. I always hated it in the UK, but our experience last year was really fun. We were in Minneapolis (well just outside) staying with a friend and he told us a good neighbourhood to visit. It was great! Some really fun decorations/effects and all very friendly with groups of small children with parents and bigger children in small crowds. The sweets were quite a small bit of it really - ds and dh want to stay home this year and have the scariest house. It didn't seem to matter that no-one knew us, and I've since heard that heading to a good district is quite a normal thing to do, so not something to feel bad about. People who really dress up their houses want to be visited by lots of children