Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Living overseas

Whether you're considering emigrating or an expat abroad, you'll find likeminds on this forum.

**German Chat**everyone welcome* - macht es euch gemütlich

979 replies

ZZZen · 23/04/2009 09:19

reden wir weiter...

OP posts:
ErnestTheBavarian · 28/04/2009 08:03

Morning everyone. mL, I feel your family pain. I would be seething at sil booking up particularly after you having told her not to. Well done for sticking to your guns and making her re schedule, but why would you be footing the bill? I'd avoid that if at all possible, as it kind of takes the sting out of it iyswim.

Can I join in the family rant? I've just had my mum & step dad here this weekend. It was my dd long-awaited Christening and she and her dh together pretty much spoilt it for me.

She is such hard work, I really wish I could avoid ever having to see her again, is that a terrible thing to say & think? She gets worse each time. They come and expect also to be waited on hand and foot, they drink vast quantities of beer, they don't get drunk, but it makes me uncomfortable, alls they drank the whole weekend was 2 cups of coffee in the morning and gallons and gallons of beer constantly throughout the day, at every pit stop and opportunity. They never talk to the boys, au contraire, they make it quite clear they are profoundly irritated by them. In contrast, fil came last week, brought them easter eggs and a magazine each, the boys were thrilled with their comics. He talks to them, plays with them, always wants to treat them, says nice things to and about them. my mum comes empty handed (it isn't about getting stuff, it's about feeling loved and that she's shown thought and consideration. Blimey fil even brought me 3 magazines and a box of chocs!) My mum brought chuff all, not even a Christening gift for my baby. She did later ask if I wanted anything for her Christening. I just wanted to shout if you wish to get her a gift then bloody well choose something wrap it up and give it to her/us, not ask me after the event if I want something or if she just stick some money in a bank account.

Then we go out eg to the spring fair/market annual thing and her and her dh just wander off arm in arm without a word, dithering off in front of us, we just about catch up and they wander off again. They don't talk to us, she had 1 conversation the whole weekend with dh. They just sit on their arses giving off a really bad atmosphere, and clearly hate my kids. I wish they'd both piss off and not bother coming to see us. Thank God it's only 1 a year normally - they last came when dd was born. I was in tears every day then.

And breathe. I just feel really down, because seeing her reminds me of what a sad and shit childhood I had. She was a shit mother and now she's a shit grandmother,( and still a shit mother. )

Anyway, we told the boys yesterday we plan to stay here long term, and that they will be going to local school. Not only did they not get upset but they all said 'good' and were happy about it and took it very well. Phew.

Admylin, well done ploughing through your jobs. Have you set a date yet? Shame about the neighbour, and added stress you could do without, no doubt.

Gracelo · 28/04/2009 08:04

A "Schweinekrippe" would be something a baby pig would sleep in, but since you are an almost Frangonian you are excused for mixing k and g .
On a German parenting board, they are firmly divided between the panicking where-can-I-buy-Tamiflu-? lot and the -it's-all-a-plot-by-pharmaindustry-to-sell-drugs-before-the-Haltbarkeitsdatum lot.
Someone there mentioned a flu case close to the Swiss border, but I can't find it in the online news.

ZZZen · 28/04/2009 08:05

dh will be there on business and dd and I will be enjoying ourselves which is the way it should be . I am hoping iti s still cherry blossom time because I always wanted to go to Japan then. Dd is an absolute Asian nut and she loves everything Chinese, Japanese (realise they are quite different). She is a B I G Yu-Gi-oh fan etc so should be good. We are also all big sushi eaters which is just as well really.

I think admylin's neighbour sounds a bit desperate. I feel sorry for her because I can't help thinking that'll be me one day if dd leaves the nest and I have nothing else to do all day but be a mediocre housewife. Quite frightening in a way. Admylin is so nice though, I don't think I would have invited her in as often.

Should we all be worrying about Sweinegrippe then? I'm blanking it out at the moment but come to think of it dh was in Brazil, Argentina, Chile, Canada and Chicago quite recently so that isn't too good. Will tell him to strike Mexiko off his travel plans though!

OP posts:
admylin · 28/04/2009 08:17

Morning everyone. I got up this morning feeling dizzy, must be coming down with something. Still dizzy now after going back to bed but it didn't help to be laying down so I'm up. Wish I had some of those Kreislauftropfen that nearly all the German families i know usually have! Neighbour is no good to ask as she's a fan of herbal remedies and will probably give me some strange tea made of nettles or alcohol with syrup of dandilion!

Feels like i'll be wasting a day with packing as I'm not up to anything right now.

Ernest sorry you had a bad do with your visitors, don't know why they bothered coming if not to see and interact with their grand-dc.

canella · 28/04/2009 08:18

oh ernest - you sound like you've had a right hard time! but like you said she normally only comes once a year and maybe for those few days you just need to grin and bear it! i'm sad for you that it brings all those memories back of how rubbish she was as a mum when you were little but at least you know that you'll never make the same mistakes and you'll be a great mum to your kids. I dont do well with my family either but i just put up with them for a few days knowing they'll not be back again for a while! its hard to change people of that age but i understand tha your sad that its not better!

zzen - i'm excited for you about your trip to japan - what an amazing trip for you all - your dd will love it if she likes asian food etc! and no Sweinegrippe there so no need for facemasks! not sure what to make of it all - all the cases at the mo seem to be related directly to people who've been to mexico or had contact with someone who's been to mexico but you never know if it'll spread further or just die out once the initial cases are better. and since i've not been to mexico or know anyone else who has i dont feel need for panic! yet!!

when there was the panic a few years ago about bird flu my extremely dizzy neighbour wouldnt let her dd come with us to feed the local ducks in case her dd got bird flu!! i really had to to try hard not to laugh!! she'd be one of those filling up the hospital now with a snuffly nose saying she had swine flu!!! madness!

MmeLindt · 28/04/2009 08:18

I think that they are now issuing a warning on travel to Mexico, ZZzen so I doubt your DH would be going anyway.

LOL at krippe/grippe. I spent too long in Wü obviously. Who is going to tell Canella that she will be learning a horrible accent?

I had to laugh recently as I shouted to DH, "How much is a dl" (from a Swiss recipe) and he shouted back "a teelöffel" in deepest Franconian.

Ernest
What a shame that your Mum ruined your DD's christening for you. Think of it a different way, think of the wonderful gift that you are giving your DC, a fab mum. That is more important than anything else.

Don't hash yourself (changing into broad Scots there) about the present. Do you know what my SIL brought me? Räucherstäbchen. I HATE Räucherstäbchen, they give me a headache.

canella · 28/04/2009 08:22

ha ha mme lindt about the accent - i dont mind it at the mo - people round here just seem to roll their rrrrs even more than scottish people - i was fascinated by the man in the insurance office how he coudl do it!! amazing!! but we lived in wigan before we came her so any accent must be better than that!! i'm secretly hoping the kids will have a bit of a scottish accent now that i'm the most english speaking person they hear!!

canella · 28/04/2009 08:25

how bad is my german - translated your Raeucherstaebchen on my head as smoking sticks!! wondered what the hell had she bought you!! had to look it up in the dictionary to get it right!! didnt know people still bought them!! she's stuck in a time warp!

admylin · 28/04/2009 08:27

They will canella! My 2 have exactly the same accent as I do (Cumbrian) although it 'll get stronger when they move back. It hurts their ears when they have to sit through English lessons because of the way the teacher speaks apparant 'queen's English' so Harry Potter is pronounced Herry Potter and bus is bas. They hate it.

MmeLindt · 28/04/2009 08:29

My two have a bit of a English/American accent at the moment but that is because their friends are English and American. There is a new family in the village from Scotland so I am encouraging them to play together.

SIL is a parttime hippy.

ZZZen · 28/04/2009 08:36

that's an odd gift ML.

Ernest, sorry about your dp being so useless around the dc. Maybe they are just too old? I can understand you feel let-down and sad, you were dreading your mum coming, weren't you? And even if you know what they are like, you still feel disappointed for your dc that they seem so off-hand. maybe when the dc get older (teenage years) they will be better able to interact with them. Some peoeple just do find small dc very hard to deal with, although your boys are not that young.

OP posts:
canella · 28/04/2009 08:38

oh i'm all excited about my kids now - think i better adopt a proper scottish accent now rather than the watered down one i've got from living too long in england!!

mme lindt - get those kids playing together! still think its mad to have another scottish family in the village!

big excitement in my tiny village yesterday - the new spielplatz was ready!! i've gone loads of days to the old one and only ever seen one child! yesterday it was heaving!! well slight exaggeration but there must have been another 10 kids there!! not bad for a tiny village!! and the kids loved it - think we'll go again today and i'll try to have more chat with the mothers!!

admylin · 28/04/2009 08:45

Reminds me of our village days canella. We used to go down to the playground with sand toys, bobby cars the works and I'd sit there telling my dc to share, lend your spade to the little boy etc but the German dc would never share their stuff even the parents used to guard their dc's toys so no other dc would touch them. It was strange behaviour.

admylin · 28/04/2009 08:48

Arghh, it's not even 10am yet and the neighbour just rang my doorbell. I didn't open the door so I feel mean but I can't be bothered today.

ZZZen · 28/04/2009 08:48

The playgrounds are generally quite nice, aren't they? I like all the wooden castles

From going to an American church for a couple of years, dd really picked up on this "Good job!" thing and she can drawl with the best of them but she can switch it on and off. When she has been playign with an American friend of hers, it is more pronounced but she seems to have lost it again by the next morning. I presume she speaks like we do but I am so used to her voice, I can't really judge it.

It is cute when you hear expat dc with a strong regional accent of any type in their English. I knew a family from Northern Ireland whose kids had the STRONGEST accent you can imagine and it sounded so nice to hear it in Germany.

OP posts:
ZZZen · 28/04/2009 08:50

nah I wouldn't bother either admylin. After all if you're leaving and dh is moving out, you won't have any contact in the future so you just do what is right for you I think.

OP posts:
Frosch · 28/04/2009 08:50

how early do you lot get up?!?!? far too much chatter so early in the morning....

Bizarrely, we've had little roadsigns up for the past year warning against petting the local wildschweine (er, like we'd want to?) because of schweinepest, bizarre 'cos it's a bit of a concrete jungle around here and we have the big Bayer chemical factory which probably nukes or mutates everything in a 20 mile radius.

Ernest & MmeLindt; I feel for you both. I've put my foot down to having UK family to stay, arriving 3 days before DD arrives; I can't deal with their tantrums, drinking and me-me-me behaviour and I just came out and said so and it went down like a lead balloon. I'm 'breaking up the family'. Jeez.

ZZZen - take plenty of Haribo! I've been to Japan three times and I will try most things but tend to be starving by day five if you're out in the sticks! Also, the locals love to try non-Japanese sweets, so it can break the ice.

Is Wu short for Wurzburg? Do they all talk 'funny' down there? Is it on par with Cornwall or Devonshire accents? (no offence, like)...!

ErnestTheBavarian · 28/04/2009 08:52

Don't hold your breather re kid's accents. I've got ((imo) a beautiful NE accent, worn down to a lovely gentle lilt (again imo), but my kids, despite being with me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week until they started KG at 5, have a hideous esturay accent (thanks dh) tinged with american (thanks IS) In the last few weeks they've stated taking the piss out of my accent (usually ending up soudning like an Indian Welshman or some such)

My mum and her dh (final words honest) will not improve. They are not old. My mum has just turned 60 and her dh is not yet 50, I think he's 46 or 47. My ds1 (nearing 10) is (imo) a very intelligent well spoken and bookish young man rather than a screaming hyper toddler (tho he does have his moments ) so it's just not the case of old people vs young children. they are just anti social, or totally socially inept thoughtless fat lazy gits who just want to sit on their arses drinking beer all day long and not make any effort to talk pleasantly to anyone. Think dementor from the aforementioned Herry Potter.

I got told off once by an Austrian, as I pronounce bus with a heavy vowel rather like Bus - so they said, "In English Bus is pronounces 'bas', not 'Bus'" iyswim

btw ML, you do know a dl isn't a teelöffel, before you screw your recipe? What're you making btw?

Frosch · 28/04/2009 08:57

admylin - I have a neighbour like that; into homeopathy, she scrutineses my medicine cupboard every time she visits, criticises everything I use for pregnancy (Bio-Oil is the devil's sperm, apparently), openly farts as she tours the house, reads my mutterpass (she's a hebamme and thinks that this entitles her to do so) and frequently wrestles me to the ground so she can practice her reikki on me. She used to visit everu day with her kids (her one year old didn't wear a nappy because she was miraculously potty trained by seven months and then proceeded to pee everywhere) but stoppped coming about three months ago when I told her I was having all the drugs possible and a csection. Result!

She's going to miss you when you're gone! Isn't there anyone else you can encourage her to clamp onto?

admylin · 28/04/2009 08:59

Oh I love the NE accent. We have family there and we were always sent over for the summer holidays as dc and we'd come back speaking the accent. We've also been 'told off' here in German yfor not pronouncing the 'u' in the correct way in English. I can't get over the arrogance of the German Englsih teachers though. how can they be so sure of them selves to correct a native speaker, ok a dc but still mother tongue n' all.

admylin · 28/04/2009 09:01

Lol, at clamp onto! I shuld maybe leave a warning note to the peopel who move in here next along the lines of 'If a woman with a big dog peers into the flat as you are moving in , do not let her in and do not introduce yourselves'

Frosch · 28/04/2009 09:04

A german friend has spent her working life in Newcastle and has the most beautiful Newcastle accent when she speaks English; it's so funny when she opens her mouth and all this NE vernacular spills out!

ZZZen · 28/04/2009 09:06

I admit that the kind of weird American tinged but not quite American accent these IS produce is one ofthe things that put me off sending dd there. And yes, I know that is superficial and idiotic. Mind you since dd has American friends and so on, she has that American tinge anyway at times but it is not a permanent fixture IYSWIM.

how odd that your dc have your dh's accent ernest. Wonder how that happened?!

I wonder if your boys would like the Jugendfeuerwehr which is I think from 10 on. They sound quite good, meet once a week, also do sport and so on. Have alook at their website.

OP posts:
ZZZen · 28/04/2009 09:07

www.jf-muenchen.de

OP posts:
ZZZen · 28/04/2009 09:09

OMG if anything that neighbour sounds worse than admylin's frosch!

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread