**German Chat**everyone welcome* - macht es euch gemütlich

[ZZZen]

reden wir weiter...

Morning all.

It is DD's 7th birthday today so I have to make cake shortly. My SIL asked me at 7.15am if I had made cake yet.

Talking of SIL, I have an almighty moan to get rid of about her. This is the woman who just spent a week lazing about here, and who announced her intention of coming for another week at Pfingsten (beginning of June) and was a bit put out when I said that I really did not want any more visitors before my parents come in July.

She phoned yesterday and said to DH, "btw, I have just booked my train ticket to come to see you over your birthday". His birthday is on Wed 17th June and she has booked from then till Sunday.

Aside from the fact that she would need picking up at around 6pm and we would rather spend the day with the family and going for a meal, it is his 40th and we are planning a party for his colleagues and friends here. We deliberately said no family, and that we would have a seperate celebration wiht them in Wü.

I am sooooo ANGRY, I could spit. It is so typical of her. She will sit around on her fat arse and do bugger all while I run around arranging things.

I don't know how to get it into her head that I do not have a hotel, we do have other guests coming that weekend and if she wants to come then she should at least ASK. Bloody bloody cheek.

Poor DH hardly slept last night as he worried about putting her off. I really don't know what to do.

And how annoying is that, that she spoilt our enjoyment of our relaxing weekend, and our DD's birhtday party.

I am going to attempt pizza tonight, not made it from scratch before. DD loves pizza so I thought we could make it together when she comes home from school.

Our patio doors have been removed for repair, they won't be back till Wednesday. Of course, it has turned colder so it is freezing in the house now. I have blankets and stuff piled up in front of them, they workmen put a sheet of plastic up and shut the shutters.

Happy Birthday to your dd - are you having a party today?

What a nightmare with your mil. I don´t know how I´d handle it - I hate confrontation. I think you´re dh should sort it out. Could you book her into a hotel if she insists on coming or would that go down really badly?

I meant to say we went to an Annie Leibovitz exhibition which was good and is on until the end of May.

sorry meant sil not mil - freudian slip obviously.

I might be in Wue at that time, Mme Lindt, maybe I could organize a Spooks/Hustle type disturbance on the Bahnsteig that prevents her from coming although I doubt I have any talent for that sort of thing.
We had a similar thing at Easter, both of dp's sister wanted to come but I put my foot down. The 4 days at Easter were my first time off since Christmas and I knew that would be very busy with lots of travelling until mid of June and I just couldn't cope with the thought of having 2 guests in our tiny house during those days. One of them was very upset about it but we have talked it through and we're ok now. On the bright side, my other sil, db's wife would rather be pecked to death by a chicken than come and see me
Canella, I'm a bit envious about your trip to the Kreuzberg. Do the monks there still brew their own beer?

Thing is, we don't want her here at all. There is no hotel (bar the incredibly expensive Auberge in the village) near us. She is a complete PITA, will spoil our enjoyment of the party and get on everyone's nerves. She is bipolar so can be anything from depressed to totally up to high doh. Sometimes she does not even wash her hair. Other times, she is so hyper that she is oranising holidays for all her friends.

Her latest idea is to spend a weekend in London with a friend, she thinks that she is going to get a flight for 30eu and a room in a hostel for £8.

LOL, Gracelo. I might take you up on that offer.

Well she can cancel her ticket or book new travel dates I presume? I know it won't go down well but if her presence is going to ruin things for you and she has just been there in April, how would you feel about dh calling her and saying "look ML said when you raised it that it wouldn't be possible. I'm sorry you have the inconvenience of cancelling your ticket now but there is no way we can put you up, the house is full and we have already made a lot of plans for that time."

It's not that I would object to her wanting to visit her brother a lot but I would object to her ignoring what you said and going over your head to book the ticket. I'm not sure I would just accept that.

Can you be a bit firmer with her when she is there and say "Oh Y, it's your turn to make the evening meal tonight, let me know what ingredients you want and I'll tell you where you can get them" kind-of-thing? Make her a little less comfortable perhaps. Or "Come on Y, it's time we brought in the washing."

She is a grown-up after all and part ofthe family, she can pull her weight a little.

how are you feeling today canella? I just had a very busy weekend so I didn't have a chance to get online much.

i agree with zzen mme lindt - you'll just need to be firm with her (or get dh to be firm with her) and tell her you've already got plans and that the house will be full and she'll need to rearrange her plans - surely it cant cost that much to rebook - how far is she travelling? is she coming from Wue? but if you're firm with her this time then it'll set things better for the future!! hard though if she's bipolar - makes things a bit more tricky!

my sister sounds like your SIL - she lives in dublin so even when we were in the UK she had to come for a few days at a time. she used to come and sit on her arse and do nothing to help - she came when dc3 was only 4 weeks old with a boyfriend - give her due they stayed in a hotel but she used to come to the house about noon and expected me to make all the meals etc! i could have swumg for her that time. so now when she comes i just make her do stuff - like zzen said - can you chop that or can you hang that wet washing out! i dont care if she thinks i'm a cheeky cow - i'm not having her run me into the ground when she's well able of helping!!

gracelo - not sure about the monks - went on my own with dc so wasnt able to sample the beers!! place was full of cyclists! lots of men in v tight shorts although all too hot and sweaty after cycling up the very high mountain!! i'm far too unfit for such things!!

zzen - i had a much calmer weekend - kids were much better behaved!! trying to do all my jobs in the morning so i can just devote myself to playing with them in the afternoon - ds2 seems to play up if i try to do jobs!! and getting off the computer more in the afternoon might help!! i'll try anything to stop the trouble he causes!

Hi everyone, what a lovely weekend - weather wise that is - we didn't do much except keep on sorting and packing and throwing away!

2 more bags of clothes gone, 3 more bags of rubbish and 2 big boxes to the paper bin. Today I sat and did the first aid box, stuff I'll take, stuff that I'll leave for h and stuff that was abgelaufen. Took ages, then I opened a drawer in the kitchen and threw most of that away too - it's some how exhausting having to say yes or no to so many items of my belongings. Anyway, Salt n' Vinager crisp break time now.

oh and happy birthday mme lindt to your dd - hope she has a great day!! are you having a party for her - lots of 7 year old girls - there could be tears before bedtime!! i love my 7 yr old dd but she seems to be 7 going on 12!! too much hannah montana might be the problem!! hope your dd enjoys her pizza!

mmeLindt, I also think your dh has to sort this on eout and put his foot down. Even if has to tell a little lie and say your house is full up.

Well, I just spoke to a friend who is possibly coming so it would not be a lie to say that we don't have space for her. I do agree that DH has to speak to her, and he knows that too. He will have to tell her to reschedule.

Apart from anything else, I want to set an example, she has to see that it is totally unreasonable to just book tickets and expect us to go along with it.

Still fuming about it.

Admylin
You are faily getting on with your packing. Well done.

Had an email from DH, she is going to change her ticket or cancel it if she cannot cancel it. He has sent me her bank account details. I bet we end up paying for the ticket.

how old is she ML?

Sounds like you are throwing out an awful lot admylin.

Just wondering: has anyone heard from finknottle lately? I know it's sailing season again but she has been very quiet on MN, hasn't she?

She is 43 this year, I think.

She was not at all happy but has agreed to come another time. I hope we have not caused a family rift.

I did wonder about Finknottle. Haven't seen her around recently.

We had our French lesson tonight, I thought I was going to fall asleep in the middle of it. I must do the homework this week, he always gives us homework and we never do it.

obviously he is not gorgeous then, otherwise you'dbe on top of the homework and not falling asleep. I think you need to look for a more attractive teacher.

Does she have a family of her own then? I don't know, she may have taken offence but if so it is no big deal to send her a nice card or soemthing and when she comes next time (on arrangement), greet her with a nice cake and then firmly set her to work for the rest of her stay.

I know it's hard, you don't like to offend family but if you feel put upon and they stress you out, best to deal with it at the onset rather than have your antagonism grew till you explode and say things you'll regret. Easier said then done though.

Is she very close to your dh?

I remember when dd was born and dh was working very long hours, my mother got it into her head to call my db and insist he come and visit and give me a hand with everything, including moving house. He was NO help at all, with anything. I would have been quite happy to just eat an apple now and then and sleep when the baby slept during the day but instead I had to go shopping, cook lunch for him and show him around.

ahh family....

Well atleast that's sorted mmelindt and you can get back to planning teh big 40th party! It should be a big one shuldn't it. Mine was miserable (turned 40 last September) asleep on the sofa, not even taken outto dinner but I might make a late celebration when I move back and incorperate the moving back, escape from Germany and late 40th!

I know ZZZen, I seem to be throwing ahell of alot of stuff but it's still loads. How I would love to be a nomad and be able to pack my tent and carry all my worldly belongings on the back of my donkey! Still, I'm getting there and have really just to sort out the kitchen stuff the h will keep and what I might keep (not much) as you can replace most stuff quite cheaply in UK.

Finknottle is not being very good at saying no and is getting bogged down with school work as Elternvertreter.

She is not especially close to DH. They are so extremely different, almost impossible to believe that they are siblings.

She is married and has two DC, 11 and 15 they will be this year.

She is the kind of woman who always has something to say about everyone, knows all the gossip about everything and gets too involved in everyones life. I am glad that we live so far away otherwise she would be on our doorstep every second day.

I think that she is a very unhappy person, but she really does not help herself. She rubs me up the wrong way, and I do find myself biting my tongue to stop myself saying what I think.

The rest of DH's family find it very difficult to be open and honest with each other, they are so worried about hurting other peoples feelings. MIL is the worst. If we go for a meal, she eats what the kids don't finish so that the chef does not think that we did not like the food. She would rather make herself ill by eating another half pizza than let it go back to the kitchen half eaten. I have actually seen her wrap food in a napkin and hide it in her handbag.

She is lovely, but I wish she would put herself first for a change.

Lol at SIL being on your doorstep every other day!

MY nutty neighbour is back to her regular 3 times a day ringing my doorbell. This morning she was just coming home as I arrived and she invited herself in, I said fine but I have to tidy up abit incase anyone comes to view the flat so she made a cup of tea! I think it's sad, she must be lonely. Tonight she was back down with some tale to tell and hoping I would say stay for a drink but I just had so much to get sorted with the dc, they both had homework problems - I half felt mean for not having time for her too but I can't tear myself in more pieces that I already do. To top it all h wasn't in a gesprächig mood so he would have sulked if I'd asked her to stay.

Don't worry about hurting her feelings, Admylin. You will be gone soon and will never hear from her again. She sounds a bit unhinged, tbh.

she will seek you out. She will track you down to the Lake District. There will be no escape...

I actually feel a bit sorry for her.

Might have known it would be the schools keeping finks away. I will go and pester her with an email then. Taipo hasn't been around since Easter or westvan for that matter. Hope they had a good break. We are off to Japan next week so will not be on for a couple of weeks.

Japan, Zzzen? On holiday or do you have family there?

I feel sorry for Admylin's neighbour too but I feel more sorry for Admylin having to put up with her.

I am full of the cold, just asked DH if he had any contact with Mexico recently. If I start to oink then send me to the docs please. Luckily his business is in Europe, Central Asia and the Middle East so no trips to Mexico or the US planned.

How is the Stimmung in Germany with regard to the swine flu? Do they call it Schweinekrippe? Must have a look at Bild.de for the latest "news".