What things do you struggle with that are culturally acceptable?

[Amapoleon]

Yesterday I was in the dr's waiting room and watched a mother repeatedly smack her child. The child was very aggressive [I wonder why] and every time he was aggressive she whacked him.

Although illegal in Spain, smacking in some quarters is still acceptable. I am only speaking from my experience in my area and don't want to make sweeping generalisations that all Spanish people smack their kids. There were 4 or 5 other mothers and no one batted an eyelid.

Gosh ninedragons I'd forgotten about the Chinese spitting. I remember entering China via the trans siberian. The moment the train went over the border, as one, all the Chinese passengers hoiked and spat out the windows together. I thought, initially, it was a comment on Russia. Until I got to Beijing that was.

Franca, it seems to be a macho thing here. Some of it is cultural (I think that for N. Africans it's fairly standard), but from watching kids I have a feeling they're sometimes copying footballers. Could be wrong, though.
I hate weaving my way around huge gobs of evil looking phlegm.

Then there's the dog shit issue...people here find it perfectly normal to let their dogs crap in front of other people's front doors. They get very offended if you so much as remark that you find it unpleasant to have to watch out for their dog's excrement when you step out of your house. Suggesting they let their dog crap in front of their house is just outrageous, apparently.

I hate spitting. Find it so dirty. Is there some reason for all this spitting out of trains etc?

Yes Auld, it might be young teenagers copying footballers, or thinking that it makes them look all macho . As I said, I also noticed that spitting was quite popular in the UK too among that age group, so it might be transnational.

Here in Italy is the same with regards to collecting dog's poo. It'd appear that at least 50% of dog owners don't collect their dog poo.

So basically you have to watch out for poo and spit. . ANd cars of course. Have I mentioned Milan/cars?

Hi franca, I meant more the Chinese all spitting out the window when they arrived somewhere, custom of warding off evil spirits or something like that?

How did the Italian govt wage its war on spitting then? With fines?

Oh yes, the dog shit!

I have started a thread which is meant to be the opposite of this if anyone's interested.

Anna
Strange, I thought it was the French attitude to car seats that had leaked over to this area of Switzerland. It does not seem at all Swiss to not adhere to the law.

They seem to be very keen on laws and buerocracy here, we need a lot of licenses. One for the dog, for which I need to show that she has been vaccinated, has a chip, that we have been to dog training classes - there is an exam where she has to sit, lie down, walk to heel etc - we need a velo vingette, a bike license otherwise our accident insurance is invalid.

And when you order a glass of wine it is in a glass about the size of a thimble. (Almost wrote Fimble there, been watching too much Cbeebies)

I don't know if this is the area, or just our school, but they invite the whole class to birthday parties. I am dreading DD's birthday in April. I think I might splash out for a entertainer and a clown.

Zzzen, I'm not sure. I think the war on spitting started during Fascism, as a way to fight tuberculosis. It then gained momentum after the war. I think you might get fined. Or considered a "peasant", not a refined city dweller, iyswim.

I know that spitting is a cultural habit in other cultures, but it is quite to see young generations doing it all over again (especially shocking if they are trying to emulate footballers!)

MmeLindt, they are pretty lax about car seats in our village. Most children have them but I've lost count of the number of times the parents drive off without strapping in the children. There is also a family with 7 children and they come to school in a Renault Megane. The oldest child is at college and goes on the bus, but that still makes 5 children in the back seat.

PMSL at a train full of Chinese people phlobbing en masse once they'd reached the Motherland. It must be the same as English people stopping for a cup of tea in the Arrivals terminal at Heathrow.

I found the bluntness about money hard to acclimatise to. Whenever I took DD out for a walk in the pram (a Stokke, so I admit fairly conspicuous), I would be guaranteed to have the following conversation 10 times with total strangers who stopped me on the street:

Passer-by: She's very cute
Me: Thank you
Passer-by: How old is she?
Me: Seven months
Passer-by: How much did that pram cost?
Me: I don't know, it was a gift from my parents (it wasn't, of course, but my cultural sensibilities demanded that I fudge it)
Passer-by: How much does your husband earn?
Me: Errr, ummmmmm
Passer-by: How much do you earn?
Me: Oh dear, I think DD has done a poo. Sorry, must run!

Reading through this thread I get a patriotic stirring in my guts

Oh gosh, whole class birthday parties are just horrid. Fortunately they don't seem to be the thing in DD's year although they definitely were in last year's moyenne section. Of course, when you have the whole class over for a birthday party, you sort of have to get a crowd controller entertainer in or else it is mayhem and knackering.

if you don't like spitting, avoid tne ME during Ramadan. the devout do not swallow their own saliva then so gob everywhere.

the chinese slurp their soups and chew as loudly as possible to express how much they are enjoying the food to the host. (my roommates at uni)

Portofino - The creche ratio in Belgium is 1 to 7. I visited a creche where 2 adults were looking after 14 children from 7am to 6pm. The place was dirty and smelly and the children strangely quiet.

There are some very good creches though, which have extra people helping, an on-site nurse, and are very well run. You won't get a place at those creches though, as they are booked out long in advance.

I'm sure you get good and bad creches in England as well.

There are some belgain parents very much into attachment parenting and alternative parenting methods, in Gent in particular. On the whole, parenting is strict and smacking is very much frowned upon. I don't think I've ever seen smacking in Belgium, have done many times in England.

belgo - I am

Is that 1:7 ratio for babies?

Yes, I'm fairly certain it was 1:7 for children at the creche, whatever age (under two and a half years).

The creche my children went to was also 1:7, but they nearly always had more people, and the people working in the office would come and help when babies were crying.

It makes my heart beat faster when I read that, belgo .

I already think that French children don't get enough adult attention (right through their childhoods and particularly in the school system) but even in the crèches the ratio for babies (1:5) is better than Belgium.

I can't stand the increasingly reckless driving and lack of manners as soon as your bumcheeks hit a car seat. A total lack of consideration for others when parking seems to be the norm here too.

A total disrespect for law.

Car seats do exist but many parents (including my DP) think it's not necessary to strap children in.

Dog poo. Usually old women in fur coats are the worst culprits. Which brings me to my next bugbear...

... fur coats, although thankfully that trend seems to be dying among the younger generations.

Children not being allowed to play outside in the winter months and being generally overdressed until you hit a certain day in the year (irrespective of the external temperatures)

On the other hand I now notice quite how much rubbish food is aimed at children in the UK, although it's beginning to creep in here too, alas.

Italian crèches seem to be a lot nicer than UK ones though. I think the ratio is 1:7 here too (DD's had 20 children and 3 assistants, plus the owner who was only there sometimes), but all the children got a lot of attention and a lot of cuddling went on. The food was much better too, no chips or processed crap.

The food in my children's creche was very good as well. And the people who worked there very efficient, they had to be! Children in Belgium are used to going to a creche from the age of 15 weeks, four or five days a week often, and they are simply used to following orders and doing what all of the other children do.

Also big dog poo problem, and fur coats and over dressed children in Belgium.

I suppose the biggest problem I have regarding parenting, is that there is ONE way of doing everything, and EVERYONE does it that way. Except me.

On the whole though I'm very happy bringing up my children in Belgium.

Belgo, me too, but then I play the foreigner card and people tend to be more indulgent about my wackiness. Like when DD is in short sleeves in the park in April, because it's 25 degrees, and many of her contemporaries are still wearing scarves. Apparently she is English so "more robust" (despite never have lived in the UK and genetically being 75% Italian)

brangelina- I've been stopped in the street and told my child is cold because she had taken off her coat, when she's actually boiling hot because she's running.

Lol! Do you have the exposed tummy syndrome there too? Whereby a tummy that is not covered properly will lead to all sorts of ills, such as diarrhoea and "congestion"? Or ears that are not covered by hats will immediately becoma subject ot terrible ear infections? I've seen one mum not let her DD on the swings without a hat, even in the summer when the temperature is pushing 35°. The breeze created from swinging is a killer apparently.

Lol.
Mind you, as an Italian, I never got used to the fact that people in the UK seemed totally unable to dress according to the weather as well. Sorry !

Another good Italian thing among the general crappiness of this (once beautiful) country: our nursery schools are faaaaaaaaaaaaaaab! Shame hat this government has realized it, and is now trying to destroy all the good work done in the last 50 yrs