Living in America... visitors welcome

[SuperBunny]

East Coast
MaNanny - Boston
Twinmommytobe - Boston
MuminCT - CT
Greatgooglymoogly - NY State
Yesthereare4ofthem - NY State
Brooklynmom - NYC
alarkaspree - NYC
MKG - New Jersey
Mummimamma - PA
Poetmum - PA
Twirl - MD

South
Earlybird - TN
jabberwocky - AR
Sunchowder - Florida
Marls001 - Bentonville, AR
Tinpot - NC
MadameDeathStare- AL

Midwest
SuperBunny- Chicago
Dodgykeeper - Dayton, OH
Chocchipcookie - Ohio
MonkeyLover
KickAssAngel - Ann Arbor, MI
MumofFivemeanschaos

Rockies
Alipiggie - Boulder, CO
Ribena

Northwest
AnnieLaurie - Seattle, WA
Dooneygirl - Oregon City, OR

California
SittingBull - nr San Francisco
Califrau - Milpitas
loopsngeorge - Brentwood, LA
Syd - Manhattan Beach, LA
SofiaAmes - LA
LATyke - Redondo Beach
CarmenSanDiego - San Diego

Texas
Texan - Dallas
Tiggyhop - Houston
Vixie78 - Houston
BananaPudding - Austin
Cosmicdust - East Texas

Canada
Hellish - Ottawa
Shouldlistenedtomymum - Hamilton
Nooka - BC
Jacksmama - Langley

Exotic Islands
Anorak - Bermuda
cp - Trinidad
Barefeete - BVI

Brazil
Albert

Cali, have you posted it on here somewhere? I am sure I have seen your list and was v impressed.

Dinner has 2 faeries but we exchanged the pink princess bike for a beat up blue BMX.

hmm, her teacher is lovely, but won't say a child has achieved something unless they get it correct ALL the time, which seems harsh.
she knows dd is way ahead in reading, but isn't setting her anything harder - today i had to 'test' her on reading, with VERY simple book, just one sentence on each page, and she's top of her class. SHe'd also near the top for math & writing, (which i would hope, with one year's more experience) but isn't getting different work set, which i would expect.

thing is, she ALSO gets on better with older kids. should i even think about asking for her to go up an extra grade? according to US norms, she seems to be age 7/8 reading, and USED TO BE BUT ISN'T USING NOW age 6/7 math & writing.
It's the forgetting things that really bothers me.

and then her teacher wonders why she seems so in her own world & switched off? am i being overly pushing mother here? (oh dear, i feel the need for an AIBU post)

thanks for fairy advice!! i may tackle that project after east. have cards & easter egg hunt to sort first, then our grand tour of england to organise. when did i ever have time to work?

We had to really push to get more challenging reading material for ds1. You might consider skipping a grade if she's socially ready but be prepared to fight for it as the school will most likely resist at first.

the head & teacher are both very on the ball, but they both just seem to have a streamlined system & that is how it goes. so, they have three levels of reading book for parent/pupil reading. dd is on the hardest book, but it's still a few years below her ability. so, in their system, she's already being stretched, but it doesn't actually meet her level.

i'm moe bothered about the subjects where she's going backwards. they won't want her going up a grade when she isn't performing so well in maths, but she used to. i did bring some books with us, but as she only did 4 weeks in yr 1 uk school before we moved, there isn't a huge amount of evidence.

there is a mixed age class, but i've heard rumours that it's complete chaos, where the teacher just kind of lets them all have fun together & sometimes teaches. it's how i find out about this stuff when i know so few parents.

i think i'll have to just let her go forward in her normal class, then really get to know her new teacher & make sure she gets pushed. if this time next year, she's still miles ahead, i'll ask about a diff grade. it's if we return to the uk that there could be a real problem, i'm concerned she could be kept back there if not pushed enough here. basically, i think by british standards she's kinda average/good, but if she doesn't get pushed here, she'll drop below that.

I know it's all worrying but I think if at her age she is kinda average/ good even if she drops a level or more now, she has the potential to get back up to speed. She won't be behind forever, I don't think.

i know, it's just this constant 'but we may go back again' that means i keep comparing things here to home. i should stop really! actually, i feel quite settled here, but dh has never had a secure job & if the co goes bust we have to shift back to the uk, so i just can't help looking over my shoulder all the time.

tis a bad habit, i should focus more on fairies.

Oh, it's really hard not to compare things. I did it all the time until I finally gave up hope and became resigned to the fact that I was going to be here permanently. The homesickness and rose-tinted spectacles are still there but I certainly felt more settled.

Any thoughts of going to a private school kickass?

Kickass, I had the same problem when we moved over here.

DS3 was in Yr 2 in the UK so went into 1st Grade when we got here. I had given his new teacher his school books from the UK so she could see where he was at in regards to reading, Maths etc. However, when he brought his homework home I was surprised to see that he was doing things that he had done in his reception year (writing letters over templates, simple spellings etc) When we asked his teacher about it she wasn't really interested and just expected him to do the work with the rest of the class. We asked her if she could give him work that was to his level along with his other work and she refused. Consequently, he switched off and wouldn't even do simple sums. It got to the stage that she was talking about getting him an IEP because she thought he didn't know his numbers and letters!

If you are not happy then push for skipping a grade. I really wished we had done that but they were against it especially as DS3 has an August birthday.

It took DS3 six to eight months to settle down in school. He is at the right level now for his grade but I do worry if we have to back to the UK how he will be then.

Sorry for the long post.

How did you get on with the accountant? I hope he sorted things out for you.

ds brought his report card home today. It was terrible He got Cs or C-s for every subject, and Needs Improvement on all the generics. And lots of negative comments in the comments bits. We are all a bit in shock. He is a bright boy, but has some learning difficulties (dyslexia, except his reading has improved hugely since diagnosis a few years ago). His behavior has always needed careful management, but we have never had a report like this. Even subjects that he usually shines at are a problem - his last science teacher raved about him, but he has a C and "shows some knowledge". He has huge general knowledge and an excellent vocabulary and has a comment of "had difficulty expressing himself clearly in oral work". Something has gone really seriously wrong here.

When we talked to him about it he just dissolved into tears, and admitted most of it was true. I know changing school systems twice in a year was a tough challenge, but we really thought he was doing OK, especially as the school here is so much more relaxed than the NYC one. Maybe that's the problem and they are letting him get away with bad behaviour, and it's just escalating.

Oh, Nooka

This is all making me desperately hope that I can get DS back to the UK before he starts school and keep him in the same place til he leaves. I moved 60 miles when I moved from Y5 to 6 so new home, new school, no friends etc and went from being top of my class to being very average and nothing amazing. I began misbehaving in order to make friends - my new friend and I spent a lunchtime wetting toilet paper and throwing it at the ceiling - it was the best lunchtime I ever and I hadn't laughed so much in months. Needless to say, I didn't laugh as much when a letter got sent home to my parents

I did go on to Uni and did a PGCE and got a great job so it wasn't like it ruined my life forever. But changing schools can be hard and changing education system and country at the same time is bound to be difficult.

I do hope the children who are struggling settle soon and begin to feel more challenged.

ps I don't wet toilet paper and throw it so it sticks to the ceiling anymore. Although it does look pretty.

nooka, have you had him evaluated by a developmental optometrist? Vision therapy might be really helpful to him - especially considering the dyslexia. It would be worth an evaluation imo anyway. Go to the covd.org website and you can find someone in your area.

Would they do an ordinary eyesight evaluation too? He's due for a new pair of glasses I suspect (he's long sighted). It would be easier to do both at once (dh is a little resistant to assessments).

The funny thing is that in New York he struggled with friendships, and was only just getting a group to hang out with when we left, but was actually doing very well educationally. But it was very structured and quite high pressure, so he knew he had to. I am slightly wondering whether the problems this time are slightly to do with being so much more relaxed, so there is more opportunity for bad behaviour IYSWIM. I do wonder if it's also to do with making friends, plus they had a student teacher, and I suspect she let him get away with more than the very experienced teachers he has had before. He really needs something quite close to zero tolerance. Some of the other things might be about culture. They seem to think he has an anger problem (he does get very frustrated). I wonder if this was more expected in London and NYC because everyone being so much more stressed?

Yes, they will do a refraction for glasses as well as other developmental vision tests.

Maybe his anger is due to frustration. What grade is he in?

Four. He's coming up 10 in May. To be honest his behaviour has always been a little borderline at school, and when he was in reception he had all sorts of assessments (none showing anything other than borderline balance/sensory issues). The SENCO thought he was autistic (no one, including us agreed with her) but most of his problems with his peers resolved when he got his glasses and could see better. His last teacher was considering referral to an Ed Psych (she wasn't sure if she was punishing him for things that he couldn't really help - we just though she should go on telling him off in any case). Generally he is not good at thinking through the consequences of his actions.

I guess we expected the usual sort of report - along the lines of 'ds is a nuisance, but very bright and engaged', with mostly acceptable grades, one or two excelling and one or two struggling. This one was really wholly negative.

It doesn't help that his younger sister is, as usual, doing very well (she gets things along the lines of 'dd is working very hard at everything and a pleasure to have in the class')

Children with sensory issues can show some autistic-like behaviors that may have fooled SENCO. With his vision and sensory problems I think he would be a prime candidate for a vision and sensory integration program of therapy. This field is really starting to explode (of course I'm biased since it is what I do ) and there is a plethora of research going on right now showing some interesting connections.

I know what you mean about the younger sibling. Ds2 is just a completely normal little boy. I wonder at what point ds1 will start to notice this. Or maybe he never will That might be for the best.

This is a really interesting discussion. Who'd have thought an expat thread could be so educational.

Unfortunately the closest therapists to us are in Vancouver (three hours away). I'd need to really persuade dh it was the thing to do. ds has a lot of very strong family traits, which is why I guess we haven't worried too much so long as he was happy and doing OK academically. There are a lot of eccentrics in my family, and stubbornness runs very strongly in dh's family (ds is rather like his dad). I guess we've mainly thought that when he finds his niche in life and gets to spend all his time doing what he wants to do then he will do very well. If this knock on issue with his academics continues then it becomes a significant problem (rather than a problem to his teachers, which hasn't been an issue in the past, because they have all been very fond of him because of his very wide interests and aptitude).

I'll do some more research and think about it some more, I guess. We go and see his teacher next week, and we will be home tutoring him so he catches up (and understands messing about at school = less play time at home). And he's going to miss the big school trip unless he radically changes in the next fortnight (he was on a threat of this from some previous messing about).

ds is well aware that dd has an easier time in life. He seems pretty happy to be himself though (part of the problem to be honest). dd has her moments! We have occasionally had melt downs about the differences in reports, but ds seems to understand that dd is better behaved than him, and that maybe if he tried harder to do what he was told, listen, be more organised, and generally mess about less he too would get a glowing report.

You also might think about doing some OT. If you can make a case that he needs it for school - and that shouldn't be too hard - then you can get a 504 and get the therapy through the school.

I was looking at your comment about balance issues. I wonder if he would benefit from some vestibular-type stuff? Ds1 has a swing in the playroom that is a hammock chair type and he loves it. It really calms him down.