Der Herbst ist da - wir wollen aber kein Regenwetter: Life in Germany cont/d

[finknottle]

Too lazy to scroll through the other long one.

Here for Obst und Blaetter - guess what d came home from school singing yesterday?

All welcome, Austria & Switzerland & any German-speaking Leute too

thegabster, any nonsense and you can send them round to me, no worries

MmeLindt, good luck with your new life in CH, and with the langauge. it is exciting, but very hard too, and it sounds like a stressy start, what with the floors etc. Typical of dh to swan in once the nightmare's over. How do men manage that??

Cinders, it must be so tough living next door to your mil if you don't get on so well. I loved my mil so muc, but my mum - grrr, no way could I cope with being next door to her. My gp in law are nice but fuss over every little detail, so we have learnt to basically not say anything eg if the kids are a bit poorly. Obviously important stuff we have to tell them. It was hard at first, as I'm quite an open person, but really it's for the best. Any chance you can distance yourself a bit like that from mil, or is dh very open, eg I wouldn't have the conversation about your concerns about ds with her at all if she's unsupportive & wouldn't mention to her any conversations with KG. Good luck.

Ds broke our wii weeks ago, but I couldn't find the guarantee. Yesterday I found it and phoned to get repair adress. Was so chuffed - now packing it all up and can't find the receipt again. arrgghh. I frustrate myself so much!

I was feeling down this morning. Our house if really nice, but we have no neighbours and the boys have no friends. I feel very isolated here. I went to a house of someone I met once, and she lives on an estate and has loads of neighbours round and loads of kids right there for her kids to play with. Very similar to the set up we had in CH. I really miss it and miss the community and support netwrok all around. This woman has only been here a very short while and she's already got this. I could be here in this fab house for years and still be isolated I reckon

It did cheer me up a lot tho that an english lady who lives quite close popped in with a huge bag of baby clothes for dd - she's a mumsnetter and really saved my bacon when I had dd. She works tho so I don't see her so much, and her dd is at a different KIg. I'd love to have friends/neighbours about who could share ehlp each other collecting the kids or sitting at the playground or lending cookery books etc that sort of this. And my heart breaky for my boys who only have school friends and no one locally to play with. I worry how the winter will be, when they come in from school and it's dark and they spend their whole winter, especiall yin the holidays, in the house with no friends to play with. sigh.

You sound a bit glum, Ernest I know what you mean about the sharing. I still have these huge waves of missing my friend, we'd have been on the phone about the school this morning and planning to do things at half-term next week. She lived on the new housing estate where there's a lot of what you describe - bit much for me but I'd get the gossip from her & even now when I go there to someone else's house and worse to hers, I have to bite my lip to stop welling up.
We need an instant cheer emoticon.

What about sports for your boys? The local Sport/Turnverein is a good place for them to meet others. S1 11 does table tennis & s2 9 plays badminton, training is evenings and has been v good esp for s2's confidence & independence.
There is also turnen which they both loved, not much apparatus (sadly for s2 who loved it) and loads of games like Voelkerball. They also go to the Jugendtreff on Fri nights and were pleased that they knew some of the older boys from the Sportverein.
If they're into football, that is, needless to say, the most popular here...

OK - taking action. Hate thought of anyone I know feeling down/homesick, especially somebody I have been talking to, and double especially who is reachable by S-bahn.

Ernst - how about I bum over to your place one morning next week? I'm free Tuesday or Friday and would love the excuse to be let loose on the riem einkaufzentrum thingy - or we could meet in town if you fancy getting out (but warning, am totally addicted to sanfran coffees).

hi gab - ooh, exciting. well, I'm free tues wed and fri mornings, you could come here, or we could meet at Riem or in town, whatever yu want, or I could, of course come to you

still can't find that receipt

start my german course tonight which is a good thing

oh and thanks fn - I immediately phoned the Jugendtreff - it's been closed for refurbishement since we arrived, so I forgot all about it, but after your post I phoned & found they re opened last week. It's from age 8, and ds2 will be 8 in Jan, so when he asked how old dss were, I just said 9 (ds1 is 9) and hope ds2 can also go - he looks the same - people often ask if they're twins, or ask which one is the elder, is that naughty? So thanks fn x

yay! at the powers of MN cheering Ernest up.

It is the most difficult thing when you move house with a young baby. I did that when we moved to Hannover, I hardly spoke to anyone. Once the DCs are a bit older then I think it gets easier as you are out a bit more.

I am trying to finish my ironing pile, just got the adapter for the iron yesterday so it has built up over the last week. Only one more basket to go

Ernest I get really homesick, and miss the most peculiar things
also miss my friends and find Im too much of an outsider here, even though it is dhs hometown and we have lived here before.

not as silly as living next to pils

am hoping we will get to england in dec as we have not been since april

and at the end of the year our big question will be stay in austria or move to?

Yuch Lindt - ironing. You sound so happy about it too - can't think of anything I hate more. Apparent from maybe cleaning the loos. Ermm .... no, its a tie.

Hey Ernst, definitely don't schlep all the way out to me - really is back of beyond. Would love to meet in town if it is OK for you to come in - are you sure it would be OK? Tuesday would be fab. Do you want to swap details somehow without publishing personal numbers on such a public area?

OOOh, I feel all excited about getting out now too! Can I have a naughty cake from Richards like I used to when I was pregnant? Do love a jolly. TheQuietOne - do you fancy joining us?

Amongst all this homesick talk actually feeling really nice about German living today. All the other mums stuck up for me at baby group when stupid group leader started to have a go. Then went to local market and managed to find parsnips!! woohoo. Then got out of the house without DS this evening (raining, so dog walking less attractive than dishes to DH) - and had walk in dark (would never do that in UK), through the woods, smell all the wood fires in the houses, church bells chiming blah blah blah. OK, anybody would feel safe whilst walking 38kg of trained alsation, but you get the idea.

TheGabster
I think that I was so happy to be able to use my iron again and to settle down with West Wing DVDs to keep myself occupied. I am not really that fond of ironing and have to watch TV chat on the phone otherwise I get too bored. I wish I could MN and iron at the same time.

Spent the last few hours looking on the net for a car. We have finally agreed which car to get, now I need to get DH to the dealers to buy one before he changes his mind again.

He informed me today that, contrary to what he had been told, he will indeed get a new Blackberry in his new job. You can imagine the look on my face when he told me. I have told him that I am ordering an iPhone so that we do not have to speak to each other at all, we will just email each other.

Tuesday in Munich is marked Would be good if you could join us tqo I'll CAT you, gab.

I had my 1st German lesson at the VHS last night. We were al so busy talking we didn't get any work done - everyone had such interesting stories. There was 1 woman from Ecuador, married to a German, 2 kids, so homesick she had to go back to Ecuador (few years ago) with the kids. dh stayed here, but they didn't split up - stayed in touch by phone 3 years they live like this! She finally came back, but she's still hs.

luckily I don't get homesick, must be harder to be away from UK or family if you miss it.

ML - I can highly recommend the iPhone - really great toy tool, and talking to dh is vastly overrated anyway

You probably did all this anyway, but 1 top tip re plugs when changing countries is put a ch plug onto your german extension leads (the ones that take 5 or 6 appliances), and hey presto, you can still use your appliances and don't need to kill yourself changing 20 plugs in a dya. We also have a couple of UK extension leads with german plugs, so when guests come they don't need to faff about with travel plugs.

oh poo my cat subscription ran out. can you cat me? if you don't have it either, I'll renew it when I dig ot my purse

Hi there - sorry Ernst, missed the plot somehow - cat?

OK, alles klar - found out what cat is. No worries, e-mail me at gabbygoestogermany, its a uk yahoo account. Send me your mail and I will send you my phone numbers etc and "real" e-mail address.

G

LOL at gabbygoestogermany email address. I wondered if TheGabster was a hint about your name or your "Gift of the Gab". I have an Auntie Averil who is called Gabby for this reason She is fab.

Good to hear that the German class was interesting, Ernest, you are more likely to stay with the programme if you are having fun chatting to the others. Imagine keeping a long distance relationship going for 3 years!

I have just come home from the gynaecologist, it looks very much like I am having a miscarriage. I found out last Tuesday (the day we moved to Geneva, is it really only just over a week ago?) that I was pregnant and tbh was pretty horrified. I took the MAP 3 weeks ago and it obviously did not work. We are absolutely sure that we are done with having DCs, I am coping ok with my 2 but I really do not want a third. I saw a doc here last Thursday, I was very lucky, just chose him from a list of English Speaking docs on an Expat forum and he is fantastic.

He informed me of our options and told us to think it all over, he could not see anything when he scanned me anyway. I have been back twice and each time the hormone levels were lower than they should be and today (5 + 5 weeks) there was still no sign of the gestational sac. I have to wait until Tuesday when they will take me in for a D&C, if it does not happen naturally by then.

I am relieved, but still a bit sad and guilty that I am relieved. I had two m/c before I had DD so I know what it is like to lose a much wanted baby, this time is just so different. I would really have struggled to cope with another baby, especially now that we have moved to Geneva and the DCs have so much other stuff to cope with.

I don't know what to do next week though. DH has a meeting in Munich from Tues to Thurs. I will phone my Mum tonight and see if she can come over perhaps. Either that or my MIL, but I would prefer my Mum.

Mme lindt

sorry to hear your news.I hope that your mum can come and help.

Hey Lindt. Yes, Gabster was a nickname I got at a job in UK years ago. Real name Gabrielle (but Germans can't pronounce it French-style and I am NOT a man so Gabby is easier). And obviously, has to be the in place of the "die" as I am in Germany!

Really sorry to hear your news. Must be very mixed emotions, ambivalent kind of do want but don't want and remembering the past etc. Would definitely go for the mum option. Sending you lots of positive, comfort vibes across the ether. And don't forget you now live in Switzerland, home of the ultimate comfort - Chocolate!

Better go - DS crying and DH asleep with dog?!!

MmeLindt - sorry to hear this. Poor you. Don't feel guilty, your hormones will be all over the place for ages so don't be too hard on yourself.
Hope your mum can come and hold your hand a bit.

Sorry to hear your news MmeLindt. If it's any consolation I would feel exactly the same as you. My period (usually pretty regular) was a few days late last month and whilst I didn't really think I could be pg all sorts of thoughts went through my head: mostly I was terrified at the thought of having a third dc. I still get broody when I see tiny babies but I don't think I could cope with the toddler stage again, plus the lack of sleep. I'm just at the stage where I can start to look forward to doing things for myself again and having another baby would mean putting that off for at least another 3 years, probably more.

at West Wing dvds. That was my favourite series when we lived in Hong Kong - there wasn't much else on that was worth watching there.

As for Ironing v. Cleaning the loos, I'd rather stick my hand down a stinky bog than tackle a pile of ironing any day. We have very clean toilets in this house but very creased clothes

Taipo
Yes, that is the way I feel. My two are 6yo and 4yo and finally at a stage where we can go out for lunch and sit and chat with them (sometimes!). I can leave the house just with my keys and some cash in my pockets, and don't have to schlepp the whole baby paraphenelia with me. No buggy, no need for a huge people carrier.

Luckily I am not at all broody so that makes it easier. Funny, after DS was born I was sure that he would be my last. Even holding my baby niece this summer did not bother me.

Gabster
Am trying to think of the French pronounciation of you name, that the Germans would not get. Don't they pronounce the e at the end? My Mum cannot pronounce German names that end in e, Renate becomes Renata and she called a friend of mine Ooty as she could not manage Ute.

I was never going to have another child

but managed a second marriage and a thirteen year age gap...

That must have taken some getting used to Cinders. A friend of mine had a baby two years ago when her DCs were 17 and 14yo. They were delighted and the older children dote on their little Nachzugler.

It really did

dd loves ds but he is very zippy

and she had along time of being an only child

and really wanted a little sister..

well must turn this machine off for a bit

dh has just phoned and said he wants to work late...ggrrr

but he is on his way to finishing his doctoriate

till later

Hia,

we went to Salzburg yesterday as it was a bank holiday, and it poured down the whole day! I mean really poured. By the afternoon, it was right through my coat and shoes. but we had a great day, despite being cold and wet - think the boysdid brilliantly considering, and dd was and ANGEL. She really is the easiest baby, but then so was ds3, & he turned into a total monster so .....

I'll mail you gabster - Tuesday looks set to be nice - next week should get back up to 19 and sunny!

ML, sorry to hear of your troubles, it must be a very confusing time. If you're sure you don't want any more that's a totally different experience surely to a mc when trying. I tried for year for dd, and was so broody it was untrue I gave up and accepted I had 3 lovely kids, then out of the blue, just in the middle of horrific family tubulance, I get pregnant! Couldn't believe it, after 4 years! I was so delighted, and while having a dd was a BIG shock, we are all thrilled with her.

BUT, I am also keenly aware that she arrived just as ds3 started kindergarten, so I would now be free, and instead am up at bloody 5 am for the 3rd day in a row . And I really feel now that my family is complete, and if I found out in 6 months I was pg I would not be at all happy. And then o doubt I'd feel the guilt you do, because all 4 of mine were desperately wanted and I'd have the guilt of that one not being so... Bu guilt is a very negative and totally useless emotion. Try not to feel guilty about something over which you have no control, and concentrate on the positives - your now life, your lovely dc, not getting up at 5 am, after already being up twice to feed already of course... Oh and lots of chocolate Glad your doc is being great, and hope it all gets sorted for you with the minimum discomfort and stress possible in a horrid situation xx

fwiw, I quite like ironing, so I'll swap ironing with tydying up if anyone's interested? You could bring round your ironing and I'll do your ironing for you while you tidy my house. Deal anyone?

Oh, Ernest, I am very jealous, I love Salzburg. If you go again, you must go to the market on the ohter side of the river, I think it is on Wednesdays and Saturdays. It is a typical Farmers Market and you can buy Backhändl there that is to die for. Basically it is fried chicken in breadcrumbs, served in paper with a roll and some ketchup. Extremely delicious.

Your story about your DD brought tears to my eyes, how lovely. I do not envy you the early mornings though, 5am is unmenschlich! Can you get some rest later?

My Mum has agreed to come over to help me out this week. It does not look like I am going to miscarry naturally and they seem to be very keen to do a D&C. Funny, in UK they don't intervene, afaik.

We had a lovely morning, DH's company organised a tour of Geneva. There were about 60 people, lots of kids and several tour guides. We had a look around the old town, meeting up with 2 actors, one dressed as John Calvin, the other was Mère Royaume who in the night of 11/12 December threw a pot of soup at the attacking soldiers from Savoy, killing one of them. The Genvoise repelled the invaders, many of the women helping out by chucking their household goods out of windows. The Genevoise celebrate this victory every year with a festival called the Escalade which involved chocolate pots (pots made of chocolate not post in which chocolate is made) being smashed. Sounds like we are going to enjoy that festival.

After the tour we went to the company's offices for lunch. It was really nice to meet some of the other wives, lots of them with young children and time on their hands. The company organise a lot of activities so I think I will find it easy to keep busy.

We went out to a 2nd hand car show in the Palexpo, a small trade fair ground near the airport and bought a car. We will get it in 2 weeks (when I have to hand my hire car back)

Hey TheGabster, I glanced at my precious last Weetabix box this morning and found a website: www.weetabix24.de You can order it online!!!!! I've ordered 3 boxes and am chuffed to bits!

Now just got to find large jars of Marmite. DH is in the UK this weekend, seeing mates. I was very annoyed to find that he went with handluggage only, so no room to bring me ANYTHING back.

mmelindt. sorry to hear your news and hope you feel better soon. Allow yourself to feel sad though, and it's good news that your mum can come. Make sure you rest plenty.

Ernest and TheGabster, have a good meet-up on Tuesday - I wish there were some mners in Hanover. I just had a phone call from my mum (asking about dd's birthday) and she was calling from my Gran's house and my niece was also with her - we all talked, phone on loud speaker mode and when I put the phone down I felt so homesick I had to go in the bathroom for a 'sad moment'. I hate Sunday and then all I could think of was my mum at my Gran's and my niece an dthe fact that my sister is off at some mega birthday celebration of some distant cousin who has turned 40 and that's why my mum has my niece with her. You may all remember my 40'th birthday sleep on the sofa celebration ...so what are you all doing this Sunday? I might try to rally round and go out for a walk in the forest. H is at work in his beloved lab but dc won't want to go out, I'll have to force them so in the end I usually give up.