Looking for schools/areas to live in UK for move back there

[NomadicNest]

Hi! I'm not completely sure if this is the right place to post - I also shared it in the private schools category.

We are facing a move back to the UK related to my husband's job after living overseas for all of our adult lives. I have some trauma related to living in the UK (which I am hoping to work through as much as possible) that is making me feel very apprehensive about the move back there, with our 2 daughters aged 9 and 8. We are moving from a place that I love, where we feel very settled, which is traditional, very safe, clean, convenient (a short walk to school, lots of amenities), has great weather and a very strong community around the school. I'm trying to find the best option I can for us in the UK, but I'm looking for advice because although British, the UK feels alien having never lived there as an adult.

My husband would need to be in London one day a week but the other days he could work from a regional office in Bristol, Tunbridge Wells, Gloucester, Bournemouth, Reading, Ipswich, Haverhill, Leicester (or even Manchester, Leeds or Newcastle) and even a day or two from home possibly.

I'm looking for a private school, with slight preference for girls only, which is academic and nurturing. We would love one where they could start now in prep school and continue in the same place. I'm not sure whether to consider Grammar Schools because one of our daughters has ADHD which can affect her performance and I would like both girls to go to the same school, so for now we are looking at private. I'd like a school with a high percentage of day pupils because I work from home and loneliness is a real concern for me, so I want to be sure that I can build community through the school with other parents living locally. We'd love to be able to find a house 250m sq plus with a decent sized garden close to the school but with access to a good high street with a budget of 1-1.5 (I'd like to renovate if at the lower end of budget). A great reformer pilates studio is a must for me (mental health) and a gym is a plus. Greenery locally and countryside for walks within a drive are a must. Safety and a sense of traditional community are really important to us.

We have been looking at Tunbridge Wells but not sure of good private school options for girls there, Benenden, Burgess Hill Girls, Cheltenham Ladies, Bath and Bristol, Roedean and Brighton College (possibly too intense). I liked the feel of Benenden from the website but wasn't sure if it would work with 90% of pupils being boarders. We aren't considering London.

We have to make this decision very quickly for work reasons and I'm trying to set myself up for success and a create a positive mindset around this potential move as much as possible for the sake of my family as well as myself. It would be great to be able to find a place and school to get excited about, rather than feeling fearful. Thank you so much for any advice on areas and schools, any suggestions much appreciated.

Tunbridge Wells is a great option, I don't think the other places you've mentioned are in the same league honestly.

The other places are larger towns or cities and if you're worried about safety then of course those places are going to have a mixture of good and bad areas.

Tunbridge Wells is a very upmarket town with greats schools, easily commutable to London, extremely walkable, nice community.

A lot of the regional offices are in reasonably big cities.

what about live in Cambridge and your dh commutes to Haverhill? Lots of good schools on. Cambridge both state and private.

How about Bath? Lots of private school choice and practical for regular commuting to Bristol and one day a week in London.

Thank you @Forkmaiden , I have heard good things about TW, we know a couple of people who live there, but the 2 girls I know of who live there go to Brighton College as a day pupil and one goes to the girls grammar school there, Im concerned that if my girls didnt get into the grammar, that an hours drive twice a day to somewhere like Brighton College is quite far...so wondering about other good non Grammar school options for girls near TW

Thank you @Octavia64 , I like the idea of Cambridge and I think I do know one person who lives there so maybe I could get in touch with her. I hadn't thought of this as an option at all, so thank you for the idea! Are there any schools in particular that you would recommend in Cambridge? I don't think I have ever been there to be honest.

Thank you @SingCat , my husband likes the idea of bath as he has spent some time in Bristol but again it's somewhere I have never been so I am clueless about it. Are there any particular schools you would recommend near Bath if you know the area? Many thanks for your advice.

I think you need to be realistic about the requirement to be in London one day a week and work around that more. The fastest trains from Newcastle are 2hr 50 into Kings Cross and then he could also add potentially an hour onto that for travel at either end. 8 hours of travel for a return journey doesn't really work every week so I'd rule out that option.

If you've got to be in London one day a week I'd keep your search to the SE tbh.

TW offers absolutely loads of private school options - not all through maybe but many many other choices.

Berkshire also has a lot of private schools and quick trains to central London and Reading if you pick the right station.

all the Cambridge preps are pretty academic. Some more than others.

st Mary’s is girls only. I have friends whose daughters have gone there all the light and they were very happy with it. One daughter now doing classics at Cambridge.

https://www.stmaryscambridge.co.uk/admissions/visit-us/Pre-SchoolandJuniorSchoolOpenMorning.htm?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22861225387&gbraid=0AAAABA3QAyoPrWj0PiLsGTpVAXn56iPL5&gclid=CjwKCAjwisnGBhAXEiwA0zEOR7Qu4Y-3tWVe5kkAKdY2fBoJrDOnj9KgNF400iji1I5Xp7SpnGaE8RoC-CcQAvD_BwE

beyond that, St Faiths prep is more sporty, Kings college school prep is very musical and St John’s is posh. These three are all mixed.

https://www.stfaiths.co.uk/
https://www.kcs.cambs.sch.uk/
https://www.joh.cam.ac.uk/

there is also the two perses. They are VERY academic and less nurturing. I have a young adult child with adhd and we didn’t feel it was a good fit but that was over a decade ago.

Stephen Perse foundation is what used to be Perse Girls although I think they are now mixed.
https://www.stephenperse.com/admissions

This is what was Perse Boys but again I think now mixed .
https://www.perse.co.uk/

There's Sevenoaks School, Walthamstow Hall and Kent College.

Children could get a short train to Walthamstow Hall and Sevenoaks School but would need to be driven or get the bus to Kent College.

In fact I think Sevenoaks is an ideal location for you!

@MiddleAgedDread I think you're right. I think we will do that going forward.

@PaddingtonBlah I think youre right re the South East. If you know TW are there any private schools you would recommend around there? There seem to be options for boys eg Tonbridge, Skinners etc but I couldn't see anything good for girls? Thank you so much, really appreciate your help.

@Octavia64 Thank you this is super helpful. I think I will contact the person I know there, it might be useful to see where her children are going. Thank you for the very useful overview of the prep schools. Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply. Do you find Cambridge a nice place to live with a good community?

Where are your friends and family? Worth basing yourself near someone you love to hang out with and wants to hang out with you.

when we came back from overseas we chose to rent a house in SW19 as it was round the corner from some good friends and 50min commute to the office plus good primary schools.

my sibling returned a little after I did and chose to rent a house in Farnham because they had friends there and the house was in the catchment area of fantastic state schools, but it was a 90 minute journey from home to office.

we have both been back 10 years now and made it work.

they love Farnham. Great schools. Great property. Easy access to friends and family.

other people we know chose TW but all have gone with private schools. Which is a big commitment. Worth considering what the state is like too.

Yes, Cambridge is a good place to live. There’s quite an international vibe as there are many international students and lots of people come from all over the the world to work at either the university or the science park.

kids (and adults for that matter) tend to cycle rather than use cars - very very common for kids to cycle to school along with mum and lots of people also get to work by cycle.

generally very safe. Lots of activities for kids - many sports teams, clubs, etc etc.

Kent College, Walthamstow Hall, Benenden and Mayfield are the girls schools around Tunbridge Wells. A couple of years those are all through

Mayfield is all girls but only secondary age

We chose York. Great private schools - we chose St Peter’s but there’s also Bootham and the Mount if you want girls only. Less than 2 hours to Kings X. Reformer Pilates, and lots of boutique fitness options locally. Safe, pleasant, green. We’re moving overseas soon but will be keeping our base here as we plan to move back for secondary school. Had no difficulty building a base here after relocating from London. We both from Yorkshire originally, so technically we were moving ‘back home’ but didn’t actually know anyone in York. Met lots of great people through fitness communities and parenting.

Definitely Yorkshire. How about York or a lovely town like Thirsk. Lots of fabulous options for private schools, Queen Mary's. Cundall Manor. Bootham or St Peter's. I really would just drive around a few areas and schools and get a feel for a place. All very different but great schools and area to live with good rail links to London for once a week

Have you considered Clifton in Bristol? Quite a few private schools close by and Clifton is a pretty safe area. Have friends with children at Clifton High school although it’s co-ed there are other private schools close by. Good rail connections to London.

Thank you so much everyone for all of your thoughtful, informative and helpful responses. It looks as though now the only viable options for my husband to work out of are going to be Tunbridge Wells and Bristol, with the one day a week in London still. With that in mind we were thinking that we should focus on Bath and surrounds, Bristol, Tunbridge Wells and possibly Sussex (we have family there). Any thoughts or recommendations on schools and areas around these locations or opinions on the city greatly appreciated. My husband is also keen to avoid any plane noise whatsoever from Gatwick! Thank you again x

@TheNameisNOTZiggy We have connections in SE London and Sussex...but we have basically ruled out London and my husband seems to think that Bath etc might be a better fit for us than Sussex due to the access to Cornwall etc that he thinks make it a bit more interesting...

Cheltenham would be a great choice. Good schools and one of the best Grammar schools in the country. Lovely surrounding villages and very decent restaurants and shops.

Royal High in Bath is highly regarded and lots of beautiful houses there…