Hi! I'm not completely sure if this is the right place to post - I also shared it in the private schools category.
We are facing a move back to the UK related to my husband's job after living overseas for all of our adult lives. I have some trauma related to living in the UK (which I am hoping to work through as much as possible) that is making me feel very apprehensive about the move back there, with our 2 daughters aged 9 and 8. We are moving from a place that I love, where we feel very settled, which is traditional, very safe, clean, convenient (a short walk to school, lots of amenities), has great weather and a very strong community around the school. I'm trying to find the best option I can for us in the UK, but I'm looking for advice because although British, the UK feels alien having never lived there as an adult.
My husband would need to be in London one day a week but the other days he could work from a regional office in Bristol, Tunbridge Wells, Gloucester, Bournemouth, Reading, Ipswich, Haverhill, Leicester (or even Manchester, Leeds or Newcastle) and even a day or two from home possibly.
I'm looking for a private school, with slight preference for girls only, which is academic and nurturing. We would love one where they could start now in prep school and continue in the same place. I'm not sure whether to consider Grammar Schools because one of our daughters has ADHD which can affect her performance and I would like both girls to go to the same school, so for now we are looking at private. I'd like a school with a high percentage of day pupils because I work from home and loneliness is a real concern for me, so I want to be sure that I can build community through the school with other parents living locally. We'd love to be able to find a house 250m sq plus with a decent sized garden close to the school but with access to a good high street with a budget of 1-1.5 (I'd like to renovate if at the lower end of budget). A great reformer pilates studio is a must for me (mental health) and a gym is a plus. Greenery locally and countryside for walks within a drive are a must. Safety and a sense of traditional community are really important to us.
We have been looking at Tunbridge Wells but not sure of good private school options for girls there, Benenden, Burgess Hill Girls, Cheltenham Ladies, Bath and Bristol, Roedean and Brighton College (possibly too intense). I liked the feel of Benenden from the website but wasn't sure if it would work with 90% of pupils being boarders. We aren't considering London.
We have to make this decision very quickly for work reasons and I'm trying to set myself up for success and a create a positive mindset around this potential move as much as possible for the sake of my family as well as myself. It would be great to be able to find a place and school to get excited about, rather than feeling fearful. Thank you so much for any advice on areas and schools, any suggestions much appreciated.