Looking for schools/areas to live in UK for move back there

[NomadicNest]

Hi! I'm not completely sure if this is the right place to post - I also shared it in the private schools category.

We are facing a move back to the UK related to my husband's job after living overseas for all of our adult lives. I have some trauma related to living in the UK (which I am hoping to work through as much as possible) that is making me feel very apprehensive about the move back there, with our 2 daughters aged 9 and 8. We are moving from a place that I love, where we feel very settled, which is traditional, very safe, clean, convenient (a short walk to school, lots of amenities), has great weather and a very strong community around the school. I'm trying to find the best option I can for us in the UK, but I'm looking for advice because although British, the UK feels alien having never lived there as an adult.

My husband would need to be in London one day a week but the other days he could work from a regional office in Bristol, Tunbridge Wells, Gloucester, Bournemouth, Reading, Ipswich, Haverhill, Leicester (or even Manchester, Leeds or Newcastle) and even a day or two from home possibly.

I'm looking for a private school, with slight preference for girls only, which is academic and nurturing. We would love one where they could start now in prep school and continue in the same place. I'm not sure whether to consider Grammar Schools because one of our daughters has ADHD which can affect her performance and I would like both girls to go to the same school, so for now we are looking at private. I'd like a school with a high percentage of day pupils because I work from home and loneliness is a real concern for me, so I want to be sure that I can build community through the school with other parents living locally. We'd love to be able to find a house 250m sq plus with a decent sized garden close to the school but with access to a good high street with a budget of 1-1.5 (I'd like to renovate if at the lower end of budget). A great reformer pilates studio is a must for me (mental health) and a gym is a plus. Greenery locally and countryside for walks within a drive are a must. Safety and a sense of traditional community are really important to us.

We have been looking at Tunbridge Wells but not sure of good private school options for girls there, Benenden, Burgess Hill Girls, Cheltenham Ladies, Bath and Bristol, Roedean and Brighton College (possibly too intense). I liked the feel of Benenden from the website but wasn't sure if it would work with 90% of pupils being boarders. We aren't considering London.

We have to make this decision very quickly for work reasons and I'm trying to set myself up for success and a create a positive mindset around this potential move as much as possible for the sake of my family as well as myself. It would be great to be able to find a place and school to get excited about, rather than feeling fearful. Thank you so much for any advice on areas and schools, any suggestions much appreciated.

I live in Cheltenham with a 9 year old in day private school.
Cheltenham Ladies is from the age of 11 and is very academic. The entrance day may not suit your daughter with adhd.
There are a lot of private schools and some of the smaller ones would maybe suit but they only go up to 11.
I lived in Clifton, Bristol before Cheltenham and would move back in an instance. We tend to travel back a lot in the summer and find there is more to do there than in Cheltenham.
we have matches against a lot of the Bristol schools and they are all lovely schools.
Clifton has some lovely private schools and the village is great. You would be able to walk around and across to Leigh woods.
I am originally from Manchester and still have family there. You’d want to be on the outskirts, Sale, Altringham, Didsbury.
Altringham grammar school for girls is a good school, my nice went there but didn’t stay on after 16 as she felt that unless you wanted to be a doctor you didn’t fit in.
Bath is beautiful but I don’t know the schools.

my recommendation would be Bristol with the idea of looking around the Clifton area.
Husband can get to London and you’ll have a nice safe social life.
Good luck

Middle child not long left university in Bristol. As a city, it has its good points but… it seems to me to be extremely gritty, stinking of weed and unsafe the closer you get to the city centre. I wouldn’t choose to live there. Bath may be more your thing

Further to PP, Clifton village is more pleasant certainly. Coming from the place you describe though, I think it will be a culture shock. Do look at local crime figures and Google Earth the places when narrowing down your search.

@EvelynBeatrice I totally agree re culture shock, that is something we are really worried about. We are basically trying to figure out where in the UK we can find the lifestyle most similar to what we have now. We were looking at Bath and Tunbridge Wells but maybe we should be looking somewhere else?

Went down the private route for our children (who have since gone to university).

Bath would be a nice area but could I gently suggest that you not try and get the children into the same school because they will have different requirements. I know it will be a real pain school run wise but if you arent planning to work it might be worth exploring.

I am guessing you might have been living either in the USA or Middle East. That could helpwith advice. I have relatives and a friend who lived in both.

The grammar schools are fierce to get into with lots of private tutors getting the kids through the 11+ (and pretending that it was sheer talent!).

Many will hate this but … look for staunchly middle class expensive areas near to pleasant towns with low crime rates and low levels of deprivation.

However I have to be honest with you. Many English cities have an air of decline and are dirty. Friends moving from Japan have been appalled. They liked ( my favourite too) Edinburgh as the safest feeling, cultured, cleanest, prettiest, walkable city with good state and private schools, excellent public transport and international airport. But obviously that’s a Scottish city and no use work wise for you. Bath is actually similar to Edinburgh in some respects - certainly for its regency terraces.

Yorkshire - Harrogate and similar towns are likewise lovely - but won’t work for you distance wise

We have friends in a beautiful village in Buckinghamshire with good transport links to London. But their local hospital provision is very poor.

Best of luck.

And factor in comprehensive private healthcare to your budget. Even if just a rainy day fund.

I totally agree, any suggestions of any 'staunchly middle class expensive areas near to pleasant towns with low crime rates and low levels of deprivation' closer to London? I agree with you that Harrogate is would be a great choice, I like it a lot but it's a bit too far.

What about Eastbourne - there’s Eastbourne college. If your husband wants access to the sea would tick that box and london commute would be ok.
or Reigate? Reigate grammar has great reputation. Very middle class.

All the places listed will be a shock but you need the direct connection to London.
You will need to look outside of the city to one of the more rural villages in the outskirts.
Cheltenham does have some lovely area.
Charlton Kings, Battle down, Leckhampton.
But even I think the town centre is grotty if you walk down the high street.

It does have some of the best state schools around if you can get in the catchment area.
I’d say some are better than the private schools.

We go to one of the larger private schools in Cheltenham. A fair mix of children and I’d say they are pretty good with neurodiverse children.

Bristol city centre and the student digs is not somewhere you’ll be frequenting and I’m sure you’ll not be hanging with the weed smoking students and the grotty zones.
Every city and town has them.

We lived in Clifton and didn’t need to go to the city centre as we had everything we needed in the village.

Alderley Edge and areas around Cheshire are lovely.

York is nice, I was there for 3 years but the issue I have we some of those listed is they are squaddie towns.
Cheltenham does have a high military presence too but it really does depend on the role!

Maybe you should look to rent before you buy.
Then if you’re not totally settled it would be easier to move and give you a chance to look around more.

we are all from different areas and you’ll not get what you have now but you can try to come close.

I grew up in a city, moved around for 12 years in the Military.
I now live in a village on the outskirts of Cheltenham. Its safe. My daughter plays out with her friends and I don’t feel too concerned for her safety.
For me, I like a little more going on hance is move back to Clifton.

Get Phil and Kirsty on the task!

@PropertyD We're actually in Europe but just a really nice city. I'm open to different schools if it's best for the children, but at the moment they are in the same school and it seems to have been going ok...although the whole atmosphere is a bit more chilled here it seems compared to UK schools.

How about the Goudhurst area near Tunbridge Wells? It’s very safe and has a strong community feel. Both Benenden and Mayfield have buses running from there for secondary, and you could look at Somerhill for Prep, which we absolutely adore, as it is nurturing, academically stretching, and has amazing facilities. We moved our daughter from a large, Tunbridge Wells prep where she just wasn’t progressing, and she has simply rocketed since joining Somerhill, as the teaching has been fantastic.

Although it’s a co-ed school, Somerhill offers single-sex teaching from Year 3 onward when it splits into Derwent Lodge and Yardley Court, but the children still mix at playtime and for clubs. Alternatively, look at Dulwich Cranbrook for Prep if you want something smaller.

And if your husband wants to be near the beach, you’re also pretty close to Rye!

Sevenoaks may suit you and is in easy reach of both London and Tunbridge Wells.

Public school is good for you. You might have to choose an area first, and then spend a couple of days going to schools in the area.

Many very academic private schools may not want or accept your child with ADHD. Some may, but aside from equalities legislation, there is nothing compelling or incientivising top flight schools to take children with additional needs, and this can become more of an issue when they reach the teenage years.

Don't discount free state schools. A lot of them are excellent.

Where’s his London office?
If it’s Holborn, Farringdon, Clerkenwell, Bloomsbury etc it makes the East Coast Mainline cities that run into King’s Cross much more accessible than if he needs to get a tube onwards. Leeds and York both 2 ish hours from LKX; Sheffield similar to St Pancras (S10/11 area could tick your boxes).

If your hubby can work in Ipswich then have you considered looking at moving to Suffolk? North of Ipswich there are some amazing locations like Woodbridge and the quality of life is so nice here. Commute to London from Ipswich is only 1 hour on the train.

For schools there are so many good fee-paying options too - my personal preferences are Woodbridge and Ipswich High School. Ipswich High used to be a girls only school but went co-ed maybe around 6 years ago? However, lots of legacy heritage there from being a girls-only school and I think still has a girls majority in most year groups - although don't quote me on that!!

What about Winchester? It’s commutable from Waterloo. Very middle class area imo. Extremely good state schools as well as a variety of private schools.

As per PP I would consider Winchester and perhaps Guildford.

What about Norwich and surrounding areas? Every hour trains to London Liverpool street

DD goes to CLC and she’s thriving in there. At first, we were also skeptical of the intense academic pressured environment we heard from others, but DD loved the school when she visited so we decided to give it a shot. It’s a really welcoming and diverse community with lots of opportunities to give to their pupils. The boarding environment is also ran really well as DD did not feel homesick at all. She also made lots of friends from around the world and she absolutely loves it there. In terms of academic intensity, it’s nowhere near what people say. Of course there are lots of really smart people in the school, but the learning pace is easily manageable without DD getting really stressed out. Definitely recommend and worth it.

We also have a few friends from Benenden, St Swithuns and Badminton. Given your case, I would consider trying St Swithuns or Badminton. DD also got into St swithuns but she didn’t really like the campus as much as the other choices so we declined the offer but it’s a wonderful school with more locals in it compared to Chelt ladies, Benenden and Badminton. For badminton, DD did not apply there but her friends there says it’s a great and happy school where they mostly focus on play hard work hard, so I think they are more balanced in that sense. For Benenden, my niece went there and now she’s in Imperial, so it should also be an amazing school.

Have a look at Wadhurst (East Sussex/Kent border). It’s a nice small town on the Hastings to London train line - two stops beyond Tunbridge Wells. All the fast trains from London stop there.

Mayfield Girls is a 10min drive from there. There’s a few feeder prep school in the area too; Skippers Hill and Wadhurst Sacred Heart come to mind. Plus you’ve got quite a few prep schools in Tunbridge Wells to choose from, most of which collect children from Wadhurst by minibus.

Kent College goes from age 3-18, located just outside Tunbridge Wells, so that’s a good option too.

I’d suggest Solihull, Dorridge, Warwick, Leamington Spa and they are all on the train line to London within 70-90 minutes

Solihull school - Solihull
kings high - Warwick
kingsley - Leamington

My husband would need to be in London one day a week but the other days he could work from a regional office in Bristol, Tunbridge Wells, Gloucester, Bournemouth, Reading, Ipswich, Haverhill, Leicester (or even Manchester, Leeds or Newcastle) and even a day or two from home possibly.

actually being in a much more central location may have advantages- Manchester is 2 hrs Bristol 90 minutes, Newcastle 4 hours, Leicester 40 minutes, Gloucester 1 hour