Fruehlingszeit in the German Corner - chat continues here

[SSSandy2]

"Deutsch or English
Native speakers, expats, anyone
From Brezeln to Bier

Please don't ask if you join in, everyone is welcome "

Actually I've found it hard. Getting to know people through church is good but I'm not religious so that wasn't an option for me. A friend of mine who has also moved around a lot with her family always makes contacts that way.

We live in a road of new houses so everyone is in the same boat and they all have small children so there's always someone to chat to if I step outside the front door, but although everyone is friendly I haven't got past that small talk stage. I think it's harder for me because we moved here 2 years after everyone else so friendships and cliques have already been formed and I'm a bit wary of bearing my soul too much as it sometimes feels like we're living in goldfish bowl.

Of my two really good friends here, one is dh's colleague from Hong Kong who happens to have moved back to her home village about 5 km from here! The other is the mother of dd's friend from her last school so she doesn't live that near any more but we do still make the effort to see each other fairly regularly.

Volunteering at school is a good idea. I haven't done that as I thought I would concentrate on looking for work here. That's not really happening yet though either!

Sounds like you're not afraid to approach people so I'm sure you'll be fine! It is hard though.

Don't know what to suggest about the dress. It is years and years since I bought myself a dress and I have no clue about shopping for clothes or shoes here generally. My wardrobe situation is getting quite desperate.

I know the feeling about the wardrobe situation getting desperate! The longer you stay at home the less you need dressy style smart clothes. I am quite pleased to at last have the need to buy a couple of dresses! I got married in jeans at the town hall in 2002 as we were poverty stricken students and this is the first occasion since! I used to wear suits and nice clothes before the dc but even if I'd kept them they wouldn't fit me.

I'm really fed up of my new pear shaped body too. I had a normal figure before the dc and size 38 (German size) used to hang on me.

Dare you leave it till you get to the States? More dressy but still affordable clothes there than here.

I needed st posh recently and was at the prices here. Tend to do all my shopping when I visit my mum in the summer.

I know, I would find something if only I could get back to the UK but there is no chance of getting anything in USA as the first event is only a few days after we arrive. Can't risk it so it's going to have to be some German Kaufhaus I suppose - just go in and try everything on - the horror of it.

I'm going to have to get the dc something too and decent shoes, they can't go in trainers! Might just send off a mega order to one of the catalogues because it's like hell trying to get ds out to the shops.

I meant to write there's no chance of me getting back to the UK before we go, no time even for a few days.

Hi there - butting in here from Swabia! Only just found this thread, but am after some language advice if that's OK?! Sorry this is long but I thought I would ask those in the situation first. We have lived here for 18 months with DS who is now 23 months. We were only meant to be on a 2 year secondment, but now it looks like we are going to be here at least another two years on top. Neither DH or myself are yet any where near what I would describe as fluent (we are both English) but we continue to chip away at learning Deutsch (or the version they speak in these parts!). However, now we are here for longer, I need to thing more seriously about DS's bilingualism as it is an opportunity for him, plus I also want to ensure he is not disturbed/disadvantaged by it for the time we are here, IYSWIM. I got advice at the start which warned against trying to speak German with him ourselves, as neither had the required level to do anything but confuse him, but just to let him absorb it outside the home. We attend a local spielgruppe and he also spends two mornings a week at kinder Stuebchen and he has picked up the odd word, but that is about it. What should I do from here? Carry on as is or is there something else I can do to promote/accelerate it? I am also concerned to ensure that he is happy surrounded by German speakers - that he understands them when he is alone at nursery. Advice/experiences/reassurance please! THANKS and sorry to butt in without so much as an introduction!

Hi there down in swabia, I lived there for a few years so I know what you mean about the accent!

My 2 were born in Germany but from the day they were born we only spoke English at home so by the time they were 4 I thought it would be a good idea to send them to German Kindergarten. They were thrown in at the deep end so to speak and picked it up within 6 months to a year. Ds quicker than dd but dd was waiting 'til she could speak it perfectly so she took 1 year before she started talking! I think the spielgruppe and things you do now are enough and never let them convice you that you should speak German with your dc. Mine are now fully bilingual.

Hi Hummahummamumma and welcome!

I think you're doing the right thing. If you're here for at least 2 more years then presumably your ds will start full-time kindergarten here where he should easily pick up the language if he is already exposed to it at the playgroup.

Whereabouts in Swabia are you? And how have you settled into life here?

Thanks admylin and taipo - I am now reassured! That is one thing I really miss about home, easy communication!

We are in a very small village just above Schwaebisch Gmeund (sorry no umlauts on this keyboard) which is about 45km east of Suttgart.

It has been a real rollercoaster ride for me I have to say. My husband just pitched up, started work and has been settled from day one. I on the other hand had to establish a 'real' life here with DS and I found it tougher than I expected (but perhaps that is because it also coincided with adjusting to becoming a Mum - DS was barely 5 months when we arrived, and with becoming a SAHM too). Anyway, I have found that it depends on what mood I am in as to whether the challenges of integrating and living abroad are viewed as exciting or have me in tears! I would not change a thing though and would do it all again. Having said that, when we have been looking at deciding to stay longer I have lurched on an almost hourly basis from really wanting to stay here and on the other hand being desperate to leave! But I am a Libran, so no real surprises there!

I ramble, sorry - you can tell I lack easy English speaking company (other than DH & DS of course!)

Hummahummamumma, well you've found the right place here. this is where you get the easy conversation and sympathy on the days when you feel like bursting into tears, or when the old biddy at the supermarket/bakery has been nasty!

We're all in the same boat and understand exactly what you are going through! All I can say is thank goodness for EasyJet and co. Before they came along we were limited to how often we went back home but now it keeps me sane knowing that we can go more often and stock up on home comforts like tea and marmite. I must admit I'm long over due a trip back home and might come across as abit stressed at the moment (to put it lightly).

Thanks admylin! Well if it is tea (be it PG, Typhoo or Yorkshire Hard Water - which must have been specially developed for Baden Wurttemburg I reckon!)and sympathy you need, I am all ears too!

I'm off to start a thread to get help with ds'd German homework. We're stuck again!

Admylin, you have more than enough reason to be stressed at the moment! Agree this is a great place to come and let off steam.

hummahummamumma, we're near Karlsruhe so more Baden than Württemberg iyswim. It's very attractive isn't it, this part of Germany?

here for any German experts! Help us out, ds doesn't trust my German (probably right there).

Welcome Hummahummamumma! To reassure you about your ds, mine has just started Kindergarten aged 3, knowing even less German than yours as we live in an army environment so has had very little integration. So far he is thriving and really loves it, and is already picking up a few words -although he always shouts in German.
DVDs are good at home -I find Maisy Maus particularly good as it is so simple and only one voice.
Keep posting, it has been a bit quieter here recently -good to 'see' you again!

welcome to the thread hummahummamama agree with everyone else, I wouldn't worry about the language thing yet (although that's always easier said than done). He'll definitely pick it up once he's in kindergarten

Boy am I feeling whacked. Not sleeping well atm with dad in hospital and the bl* cancer thing. Keep waking up at 2 or 3 am and get up at 4 in the end. Feeling a lot of sympathy for our mums with newborns atm in fact. Wondering how hupa and kindersurprise are. They're very quiet.

Admylin, maybe have a look at Zara. I haven't been shopping in ages. They might have nice dresses though. Don't like their changing rooms whihc always puts me off going in there. Otherwise, depending on the style you want really you'll probably have to check out the dress section of a dept store. KaDaWe has some nice stuff - all sorts of price ranges but I find it a bit too much, tend to get lost wandering about in there. I always get nice party dresses for dd in Karstadt. She has a lovely pale blue one with embroidery round the bottom on the front and up the sleeves. Last time I looked (while back though) they had nice red and white dresses - might suit your dd.

Phew, what a morning! Ds opened his presents this morning before school. He's richer than me now, relatives seem to have given up on ideas of what to get him so he got money! His bike didn't arrive yet but he doesn't mind.

I've got his cakes ready and cleaned the place up abit so a couple of my friends can come round for coffee (after all I'm celebrating giving birth for the first time - and totally Schmerzmittel free) Dd is still at home so I suggested she do some cheese, pineapple and grape sticks for the tea table but she said that sounded gross so she did fruit sticks of pineapple, stawberry, blueberry and grape and a savoury version of cheese, cornichon and salami!

I think I've found some shoes (yipee) online so I might just order a load of dresses from the same place and try them on in the comfort of my own home. Prices could be abit lower but I'll be glad to have it all sorted out.

SSSandy, did you find any flight details to go and visit your dad? is it doable?

We've got a big tree right infront of our bedroom window and exactly at 4:30am the birds seem to gather in this tree and sing their hearts out! It wakes me every morning and then it's light anyway so that's the end of my night too. No wonder I'm falling asleep on the sofa in the evenings.

he had the operation already admylin but they've kept him in hospital, blood pressure problems. The best thing would be for my brother to go out and join him since my sister and I have the kids but you know how men can be. The problem is not flights but dd really. So I am torn and worried - i.e. that almost permanent Mutterzustand. If you're not worrying about dc's health, happiness, schooling, it'll be dh's job, health or the relationship and if it's not that it's your dp, isn't it?

Can't figure out why women are said to live longer!

Don't speak to me about birds! We have a colony of KRÄHEN outside. They don't usually wake me up though, since I'm used to them now.

We've got magpies nesting in the tree and they screach to each other (the pair) all day and I keep looking at ds's homemade catapult and thinking should I have a shot but then usually end up shutting the window!

It is a long way to New Zealand isn't it, that makes it so hard to plan even a quick trip. It must be quite frustrating. How does your dad sound (if you 've spoken to him)? It would be reassuring if you knew he had plenty of good friends down there.

By the way the shoes I thought I had found were not availabe in my size in the colour I wanted (grrr) so back to the drawing board.

what kind of shoes are you after - high-heeled sandals? I'd have a look at Goertz if you can be stuffed making it to Zoo. They usually have some nice ones,amongst all the whacky stuff.

I'm no good with a catapult but I quite fancy a bow and arrow (not that I'm any good at that either).

I'm going to organise someone to go round and look after him a bit - kind of nurse/cleaner/cheerer upper

I'm sending him a cheer-up package but stumped for funny things to put in it. He sounds ok, he's not the old misery type, likes to laugh. I was wondering if that Good-bye Lenin would be accessible to English speakers who don't know much about the DDR.

What about Roger Boyce? I don't know if his books are in English because I thought one was and ordered it but it was in German. (My dear Krauts) bit I think he might have written some other stuff, light hearted rantings about life in germany!

Atleast you know he'll be looked after when he gets out of hospital and you could maybe plan a holiday just to visit. I've often thought about what I would do if one of my parents needed me, as sister is too selfish to help - it would really depend on the home care that was available. They have a big house so I could go and look after them but as you say it really depends on the dc too. And probably not very fair in my marriage.

Hi Hummahummamamma,your story reads like mine. Moved here last August with DH and DS1 (now 3). Our level of German is poor, although we were having lessons until I had another baby in Feb. After months of fighting for a place, DS1 is in Kindergarten. It took three goes to find the right place for him - he goes 3 times a week and has settled so well now. The other MNetters on here will vouch that we had some tough times with him not fitting in at first, but that was an age problem, not language.
It's only been a few months since he's been in Kindergarten and his German is coming on so well. In at the deep end, but he's not struggling to be understood there, or vice versa. It's funny to hear him speak a mix of German and English at home, and he's converted to only counting in German now.