Fruehlingszeit in the German Corner - chat continues here

[SSSandy2]

"Deutsch or English
Native speakers, expats, anyone
From Brezeln to Bier

Please don't ask if you join in, everyone is welcome "

bl* hell NN, what a worry. His country - is it in Europe? If he's going to try and kidnap them, I wonder how he could take them outside EUrope without a passport but I suppose if you put your mind to it or pay enough, these things can be done.

I don't know how you can effectively protect yourself without practically going into hiding - cutting off all contact to him, changing your names etc. Why is he like this, do you know? Actually I think if there is a danger of him taking the dc away, he can be refused all permission to see them. I hope he just gives up at some stage, runs out of anger or whatever is driving him.

His family (parents) and his new partner, would they all go along with that do you think?

Wouldn't generally group Germans under the heading : afraid to say anything but maybe experience tells you if people are drunk/crazed, there's no point IYSWIM? Haven't personally had any bums, hairy or otherwise, flashed about in front of me in supermarkets. Maybe it's BErlin. I sometimes think people who come up from more provincial areas feel compelled to go extra far in their bizarre dress/behaviour to compensate for not being city slickers.

My neighbour is a gay opera singer and a gay couple live across the street from us. They do get all dressed up transvestite style for St. Christopher's Day but other than that dress like anyone else. They're very polite, quiet people, don't mind them at all.

I think the man in the pink dress was just trying to convince himself of something. Weirdo. I steer clear of drunks though. Sometimes give a loaf of bread or something to people sleeping in doorways or park benches but I just walk straight past people acting drunk and loud.

Sandy, I know what his plan is! He wants to force me to move out of germany. He has now got fined twice and 4 months prison, for doing things that he regards as his right, ie hitting me and breaking my windows.
For breaking my car and hitting me in france, as far as I know, he has got nothing. Therefore he wants me to move to France!
I am almost sure that will be the ultimatum if he takes the boys.
I cant hide from him, could never be 100% sure, so I am building a few defences stealthily.

His family knows what he is like. He hasnt got a partner at the moment, wish he would get some poor unfortunate woman under his spell again, at least the pressure would be off us. Mean of me, I know.

Any of you with older dc (around 10) what size bikes have you got for them? I have to get one for ds's birthday next week - left it a bit late but was looking on amazon and don't know if 24 Zoll or 26 Zoll would be best.

Nighbynight, what a nightmare you're going through at the moment. From everything you've said it doesn't sound as if there's any way he'd be allowed to have the dc. But he's clearly not going to give up, is he?

Admylin, we bought bikes recently for dc at a great second hand bike market, but I'm not sure what size they are . I would probably go for the larger size as you'll probably be able to set the saddle low enough for him and he'll soon grow into it anyway.

lol at your experience in the supermarket. I don't think it's a German thing though, more of a big city one. I saw all sorts of weird/shocking behaviour in London and usually every body kept their heads down, particularly if the person seemed potentially dangerous.

Hi taipo, it does sound like a nightmare, doesn't it? She's incredibly strong to keep going with all this going on. Glad to hear you have something up your sleeve NN.

Like Taipo said admylin, I'd get the bigger one. Bought dd a new one for her 7th birthday and the guy in the shop advised me to get a big one (offhand don't know the size but could check tomorrow). It looked huge to me, but she manages fine with it. He said it'll last a long time and I shouldn't think from looking at it that she'll need a new one for years. Have you got time to pop into a shop on Monday or and ask them which size to get?

People do just look away, don't they, and not want to get involved? Remember being heavily pregnant here and going through a hippie phase. I was doing some inter-faith meditation thing in a church, very nice and relaxing, good vibes for the baby kind of thing. Was sprawled out on the floor, in front of the alter, candles burning, people singing, playing guitars and omming and so on. This drunken man staggered in and parked himself next to me. Looked me full in the face and started ranting: "God I've had enough of you. This was your last chance and you blew it etc."

Was taken aback at what seemed an odd case of mistaken identity. Don't think he even saw me tbh. Didn't really know quite what to do so just went on singing some Spanish song we were all singing. Went on ranting for a long time. NO ONE paid any attention to this or showed any interest in intervening so I had this for quite some time. Turns out his latest wife had stopped sleeping with him because she'd become all religious and he blamed it on God. Actually he was quite harmless but he did frighten me a bit and you'd think with a place crowded like that, someone might have felt a need to speak to him/see if he was alright and whether a pregnant woman was ok with being ranted at like that but no.

Wow, SSSandy that was a really freak experience and no one bothered to get rid of him for you. Did you find out what size bike you got dd by any chance?

How was your big day Berolina? hope it went well.

I've been shopping for ds's birthday presents and been in a few bike shops and tried to figure out which size to get him (I really wanted to order one on the internet as I found a good price) but I am still confused and ds might have to get a Gutschein as I won't manage one before Thursady. It's a difference of 100 Euro to buy in a shop or order online all very similar style bikes.

My sister sent me a message that she bought 24 Zoll for her dd and it was quite big as I was there last summer when she got it. Her dd is 11 and about the same size as ds. Hate it when I can't decide.

Hi admylin,

Ds2 is 9, small for his age & has a 20"/Zoll which he's almost grown out of. He can do great stunts on it though which hew won't be able to do when he goes up a size to the 24".
Ds1 is 11 and has the 24". They are big and there seems to be nothing between 20" and 24". Tbh, a 20" would be too small for an 11 yr old, here the boys go up a size in Y3 or Y4.
Hth

Oh I'm sorry admylin, I'm so useless, I totally forgot. Haven't had to go into the garage for anything so hadn't thought to check. Can do it later when I go out to pick up dd. Is that too late?

Does ds know he's getting a bike for his birthday? COuld you take him with you into a shop to get the advice on what size and then leave saying you'll think about it. Then order the one you want? They were cagey when I went to get dd's and didn't want to advise me without her there, so in the end I had to go into the shop and buy her birthday present with her which she was ok with.

btw does anyone here get the "ooh Spargel!" thing?

Thanks finknottle, I think I'm going to get a 24 zoll as I think the 26 - although it would last longer - would be abit too big for him to manage safely. We'll just have to fork out for a bigger one when he's 13 or 14!Also, ds is more the cautious, careful type of rider as compared to other lads in his age group who love doing stunts and skidding to a halt etc.

At the moment he's on his 20 zoll bike with the seat up to maximum height and it still looks abit funny with his long legs nearly banging the handlebars.

Just got back from the shops - I always try to go after school drop off but this morning I had to change all my plans of what to cook as the shelves were half empty, staff were still unpacking the fruit and veg - it's often like that. Also just had a phone call that we might have 2 guests tonight so I have to produce a decent meal instead of the oven chips and chicken that I was going to do (being lazy). Also bought the sweets for school, here when it's your birthday you have to give something at school or bring a cake and drinks. I just bought 16 bars of milka chocolate and will tell ds to hand them round his class (phew that there are only 16 of them) as I am not at all motivated to sit and fill little bags with lollys and sweets.

No, over-rated. We used to live in Spargel-land and I never got the religious trekking to the special shop, the Klasse 1/2/3, and I could never peel it properly.
Plus all that headache-inducing buttery sauces, bleh.

I've found some in my garden, keeps appearing under a rose bush and I let it grow too big then use the frondy bits with flowers in a vase.

It's OK SSSandy, don't bother with the size. I think I'll get a 24 zoll as ds isn't the type to cope with a 26 - they do say online that 26 is for 12 or 13 year olds.

No, I don't get the Spargel mania here and I wouldn't go and pay a fortune to eat boiled potatos, slice of cold ham and asparagus in a restaurant as many do. And I hate that butter sauce they serve with it too!

x-post admylin
We're not allowed to bring in sweet stuff to school any more so for ds2 I did cheese/grapes/pineapple on sticks for 23 children. Luckily dd helped, thought it was wonderful, took her nearly an hour!
Ds1's school not as fussy, he took in those whopping Dickmann marshmallows.

yuck too at the cold ham - double bleh. We always get asparagus at the ils whose town is big time Spargel and are expected to ooh and aah at the dish as if we were being offered edible gold.
I really should be out digging out bindweed.
Maybe one more cup of coffee

Yes I got a box of those dickman things (revolting) but he can hand them round. Trouble is in his class they are nearly all muslim and one girl had a bag of jelly bears of some sort on her birthday and they all refused to touch them ín case they had gelatine from pig in ! It's the boys mostly, they've started with fasting too so most have done their first ramadan fast etc so know to follow the rules. I think milka and dickmans should be OK though.

Our old school was good for no sweets, no nutella brot, no sweet drinks or even sweet yoghurts but here in Berlin the teachers hand the stuff out as Belohnung, I was quite surprised.

Me too, I should be doing something else. Also have to keep on top of the mess as we've handed in our notice for the flat so the hausmeister or who knows could call round and in the state it is in - I would have to pretend I'm out!

How's the Hannover move going?

Hi everyone,
Having a bit of a nightmare with the Kindergeld (or lack of). Applied late last year for DS1 and got a request back for confirmation from the UK that we weren't receiving any child benefits any more. This took a whopping 6 months for the UK to get right. All I needed was a letter!
Anyway, eventually received it and sent off to the Kindergeld office. It was past their deadline but I attached a note explaining the reason for the delay.
It's now been ages and I've not heard a thing. Do you reckon I should just reapply? Of course I've now got a second son to apply for. We're getting no money for either and I don't know what to do.

It's not yet! Still waiting to hear from the Maklerin to see if we are going to get the flat or not. Should be OK but you never know and we did flash with the doctor title, good job and had to send in dh's last 3 pay slips which were very good ones ... hope she writes/phones soon.

When I've got ds's birthday dealt with I'm going to get a few removal firms to come and give me a quote and we're getting someone to paint this old place as dh hasn't got time and neither have I (well at a push, I could but if dh wants to pay, why not!)

2 years a go I packed up the contents of our old house alone as dh was finishing the new house and I swear by BBC7.
They have Listen Again for a week and I'd pack almost automatically listening to Poirot, some Victorian political family saga which I thought sounded deadly but was wonderful and went on for an hour each day.
Also spent a long week painting wrought iron listening to Frenchman's Creek.
Little and often. Get yer boxes now and start clearing books. Give the children a box for junk which you warn them, will be binned by you indiscriminately if they don't sort out their own stuff. Worked for me
At least get the winter clothes etc. packed now, I found thinking about it and making list after list was just time-wasting and making me panic.

That is so typical of German paper-here - Nachweis-there system. It might be a good idea to try and go there yourself or have you got an email address? I always found I atleast got a response if I sent a few emails.

Yes, get painters in. We blew our returned deposit on removal men & painters and found the fact that we'd had "pros" in meant the agent didn't even check rooms. It's hell enough without having to paint.

Yes, good idea. I was thinking of packing all the winter stuff starting in June as I will have to look at the pile of boxes all the time. It's so small here, no room to store the boxes except on the hall - but I want this place nearly packed before we go to Texas in July then I just have to finishing touches to do when we get back.

The dc have plastic boxes with their toys in already but thought I might go and get a few ikea boxes as theirs are abit worn and cracked in places from sitting on, throwing things into etc!