Living in Dubai as an active stay at home female

[Louise0923]

My partner has an interview for a job in Dubai. We both work over here and if we go it would mean me not working for the time of his contract. I’m a very active person (running, hiking and swimming) and my current role is fast paced & good money. The salary he would potential have, with the benefits they provide would be worth me leaving my job (financially) but I’m concerned around the shift in lifestyle.

On the one hand it of course would be a privilege to spend 2 years in the sun, not worrying about money (and I’m sure I could pick up some work over there or remotely). However, I wanted to know if anyone had experience of either leaving their job for their partner and also being active in Dubai as a lone woman eg running in the morning, hiking etc.

Im concerned around being lonely, losing a sense of purpose and taking a career break. And then on top of that not being able to do the hobbies I want to! Almost a bit of a gilded cage situation!

We will be married when we go for those wondering.

just to understand, why would it mean you not working for the duration of his contract? Does your sector just not exist there? Otherwise I’d look to get a job. It used to be that you could work on a spousal visa with a letter of no objection - possibly that’s changed now but I don’t think it’s overly onerous to get a working visa. Your big risk is what if it ends up being more than two years, as it often does.

There are a lot of non working spouses but most will be empty nesters or have young kids so it may be hard to find your tribe. All the sports you mentioned are popular ( although not much fun in the height of summer) but I think you’ll find the days a bit long.

Giving up my career to go and work in somewhere as morally reprehensible as Dubai would be a double no from me.

In terms of whether it’s “worth it” financially, you need to think about more than just the money coming in for those two years. There’s a risk to your career (how hard will it be to get back in?) and even if that’s not a problem you’ll always be two years behind where you would have been, so the cost over a lifetime will be far higher.

it’s also an investment in his career at the expense of yours. That may be ok if you’re confident of being together but again it’s a risk.

That’s not to say don’t do it- I took a few years out myself with DC- but I wouldn’t do it unless it actually has something positive to offer you.

Well I don't know about the safety aspect, but as far as taking a break, go for it! I've taken two sabbaticals and so has my DH, it's never been an issue getting another job. We also have many friends who do the same. Why wait until you're retired to have a break, do it while you're still young

Well I don't know about the safety aspect, but as far as taking a break, go for it! I've taken two sabbaticals and so has my DH, it's never been an issue getting another job. We also have many friends who do the same. Why wait until you're retired to have a break, do it while you're still young

Family members did this. They ended up being there around 15 yrs, then she came home alone.
its extremely hot most of the year, so I’m not sure how much running you’d do outdoors. She couldn’t get a visa to work at all.
Money was good but cost of living very high.
id definitely do some research before taking the plunge.

I hated it, I completely lost myself and pretty sure was depressed. My ‘friendship’ circle were other British wives who loved their lady of leisure lifestyle. They really embraced Dubai expat living - lots of hired help, huge houses, lunches and cocktails everyday. I found all that difficult. I ended up doing some volunteering but that wasn’t everyday. For most of the year it is impossible to do any outdoor activities.

You wouldn't be able to run and hike. It's too hot most of the year and there are no suitable places, it's literally built in the desert and there are no pavements, everyone drives everywhere.

So you'd be swimming and working out in the gym. Personally that would not be enough of a life for me to give up my career.

Are you married to your partner? I also wouldn't do it unless you have that security. If the relationship ended you'd have nothing and have to come back and find a job after extended unemployment.

Sorry, just seen that you've said you will be married.

Would your partner jack in his job to enable your career and be a trailing slouse?

I'd think really seriously about the consequences to your career, pension and overall wellbeing.

There is hiking eg in the Ras Al Khaimah hills/mountains but it’s going to be very hot a lot of the year. Is there any remote study you could do to further your career so there is something you have to commit to each day? There are all sorts of groups in the UAE - camping, off-roaders, natural history etc

Same. And I'd be very much disappointed if my DH considered it

Have you visited Dubai? I've been for work and I cannot stand the place. No way would I want to live there.

The weather in Dubai is pleasant from November to March. It starts heating up again in April and is truly too unbearably hot to be outdoors for more than a few minutes (sometimes seconds) in July/August. Depending on where you live, there will be plenty of places to go running for at least half the year. There are lots of parks, beaches and promenades. There are beautiful mountains in Ras Al Khaimah and Fujairah and some nice snorkeling spots on the east coast.
For the hotter half of the year, when I lived there I joined a very fancy gym.

Depends where exactly you would be. Weather is okish from mid oct to end of march (though this winter is warmer) so that's main camping and bbq season. Al qudra has massive cycling tracks, some areas are being build so lack pavements yet (JVC etc), but many obviously have them. Hiking as pp mention by Ras al Khaimah or towards main Oman in the mountains.

Career wise, that is really something you need to think about. If you can as pp said do something while here to get boost for return, why not. It's an experience.

I've been a trailing spouse.

It's really difficult as your dh just has the same life as before and you have to build yours from scratch. They have their work and you have nothing.

I did make a happy and successful life but it took over a year for me to feel anywhere near settled. I got a job though.

I did not like the 'ex-pat' scene at all. In fact I hated it. It wasn't until I made friends with ordinary people that I settled in.

Living in Dubai is not something I would ever do.

I live in Saudi, so very similar but not quite the same. I run year round outside, so it's nonsense that the weather makes it impossible, I just run at night and hydrate well before hand. No drama. I live on a large compound so run in here, but I'd be very surprised if there aren't parks and corniche areas you can run along.

There will be walking and hiking areas, you'll just need to drive there.

Personally though, if I were you, I'd stay behind. It's not worth sacrificing a well paid decent job for, in my opinion, especially if it's likely to be a short term move. I'd stay put and reassess after two years. Visit him between October-May for the good weather, or in August if you'd like to see what the depths of hell feel like :) I live apart from my spouse, it's perfectly manageable.

You will face a lot of criticism on here from an ethics perspective.

expats pretty much live in compounds don’t they? Which doesn’t sound like my ideal running territory. And if you have to run at night temperature wise driving to a park to run at night isn’t something I’d do even in the safe cities I’ve lived in. It just sounds like it wouldn’t even begin to deliver on your outdoorsy goals and everything else would be blah to awful for you too. I can’t imagine going except perhaps on a ‘we will be set up for life after these two years and we can do whatever you want then, I will go along with your decision’

This sounds a terrible idea for you. I can't imagine how this could be a positive - you give up a busy, active job and lifestyle to hang out in Dubai for years while he's at work? Do not do this.

expats pretty much live in compounds don’t they?
No. Spread out everywhere. But some tend to stick to areas with more of their own.

But it's not the same here. It's not like running in a grotty park in South London, full of alcoholics, weirdos and antisocial teens.

Families are out late at night for the same reason as the runners. It's too hot during the day! In the winter season the days are pleasantly warm. Today is 24c.

Expats don't need to live in compounds, certainly not in Dubai. I do in Saudi, because my employer houses me here, but it's absolutely huge. I can run for two hours without going on the same road (this won't apply in Dubai).

There will be rugged jebels for hiking in Ras Al Khaimah.

Goood lord why would you risk this? Being completely dependent on a man, trashing your career?

You'd be insane.

I note that everyone talking about bad ethics of Dubai is leaving Abu Dhabi threads alone.

I think many people don't realise Dubai isn't a country, tbh.

Yup