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Living overseas

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Original poster

Living in Dubai as an active stay at home female

75 replies

Louise0923 · 31/01/2024 07:39

My partner has an interview for a job in Dubai. We both work over here and if we go it would mean me not working for the time of his contract. I’m a very active person (running, hiking and swimming) and my current role is fast paced & good money. The salary he would potential have, with the benefits they provide would be worth me leaving my job (financially) but I’m concerned around the shift in lifestyle.

On the one hand it of course would be a privilege to spend 2 years in the sun, not worrying about money (and I’m sure I could pick up some work over there or remotely). However, I wanted to know if anyone had experience of either leaving their job for their partner and also being active in Dubai as a lone woman eg running in the morning, hiking etc.

Im concerned around being lonely, losing a sense of purpose and taking a career break. And then on top of that not being able to do the hobbies I want to! Almost a bit of a gilded cage situation!

We will be married when we go for those wondering.

OP posts:
sofasofa42 · 01/02/2024 11:05

Dubai is incredibly sporty- perhaps inside during the summer months or people tend to do everything at 5am.
They have running tracks along all the beaches. There are gyms and pools in most apartment blocks. Hundreds of gyms and sports clubs. Lots of women cycle in the desert, going hiking in Oman, dragon boat racing, paddle , tennis. You name jt - Dubai does it. Every one likes to be beautiful and fit out there- so you won't have any issues. It's a very social and fun place to be. You could even skydive very easily.
Gyms are often mixed with the option of ladies only areas ( which I loved). Lots of my female friends do Mai tai. It's an absolute myth that women can't do anything out there.

Sauerkrautsandwich · 01/02/2024 17:25

We just returned from bbq where we saw gazelles, oryxes (these briefly from afar sadly) and bunch of birds as well as many cyclists and runners and happy families chilling... Dubai is not just shopping malls.

Gazelles seem to be fascinated by cats. Fun fact here

We have a park around the corner with basketball court and a guy doing thai chi (we think) every day. People are always playing something there. Ball games, badminton etc.

Original poster
Louise0923 · 02/02/2024 16:23

Thank you! This is the information I was after!

OP posts:
Original poster
Louise0923 · 02/02/2024 16:24

Thank you for your positive outlook! I think everything is what you make it, and if I went ahead with it, I’d look at it from this perspective!

OP posts:
Original poster
Louise0923 · 02/02/2024 16:26

Amazing thank you! I also think I could make the most of it but wanted some insights from people who had been there and lived the lifestyle! Not just visited or going off here say 😀

OP posts:
sofasofa42 · 02/02/2024 18:06

You need to make sure that he's a contract and status allows him to sponsor you- it usually does and also that your health insurance is covered by them. You don't want to be paying that . 3 months feee accommodation is usually the norm and then you are on your own. Hopefully they will provide this if it's a temporary role. Dubai can be lucrative but start up costs are huge. I am told by family that finding accommodation can be tricky these days.
As a sponsored wife it can be frustrating because you won't have sign off on anything official and no booze license! This doesn't mean you can't drink when out and about but it does mean you don't have the autonomy to go and grab a bottle of wine from the ( very few and far between) bottle shops. This is where it all becomes quite " Middle East" . It is social and fun though. I left because frankly it got a bit " easy" .
It's the land of the hustle and 10 yrs after leaving I think most of my old crowd are incredibly rich. The reality tv shows going now are depressingly spot on, but there are loads of sub sets to the UAE. There is a strong sporty, down to earth, camping type people out there. Along with the people out to make their millions and the people spending their billions. Not to mention all the clubbers, influencers and party people. You soon find your people. It's a massive adventure and what is fabulous is the quick weekend breaks in Sri Lanka, Oman, Nepal , Lebanon etc. Opens up the world really. Definitely more to it than fast cars and brunches.

Sauerkrautsandwich · 02/02/2024 18:22

Re alcohol. Dubai ones are not the best. We go to Ajman or RAK to stock up. Bigger and more choices, plus some free gifts on occasion.

We didn't do any noc from DH? Just did it online in a shop

CaribouCarafe · 02/02/2024 20:28

They brought in changes before I left (July 2023) that meant you no longer need an NOC for the alcohol license and it's free, you can just step into your local African + Eastern or MMI and apply for a license. They let you take a photo of the barcode so that you can use it from your first shop (just show them the photo on your phone each time) while you're waiting for the physical license to be made up.

I think the only requirements were that you weren't Emirati, weren't Muslim, and were over 21. You'll need to bring your Emirates ID with you though I think

CaribouCarafe · 02/02/2024 20:29

But yeah, best alcohol shop in the UAE was Barracuda in Umm Al Quawain - used to quite enjoy the drive too!

LaPalmaLlama · 02/02/2024 20:32

CaribouCarafe · 02/02/2024 20:28

They brought in changes before I left (July 2023) that meant you no longer need an NOC for the alcohol license and it's free, you can just step into your local African + Eastern or MMI and apply for a license. They let you take a photo of the barcode so that you can use it from your first shop (just show them the photo on your phone each time) while you're waiting for the physical license to be made up.

I think the only requirements were that you weren't Emirati, weren't Muslim, and were over 21. You'll need to bring your Emirates ID with you though I think

Ha- yes, my friend who wasn’t a practicing Muslim but had a “Muslim name” had to literally go and formally renounce Islam ( there is an office for this purpose) in order to get his AL.

Sauerkrautsandwich · 02/02/2024 20:33

DH got it no questions asked😂 Muslim. I wonder if the passport made difference?

LaPalmaLlama · 02/02/2024 20:34

But also if you travel frequently you can just buy loads of duty free as the allowances are v generous.

LaPalmaLlama · 02/02/2024 20:35

Sauerkrautsandwich · 02/02/2024 20:33

DH got it no questions asked😂 Muslim. I wonder if the passport made difference?

Yeah- possibly- this guy had a gulf state passport.

Sauerkrautsandwich · 02/02/2024 20:37

LaPalmaLlama · 02/02/2024 20:35

Yeah- possibly- this guy had a gulf state passport.

Show quote history

Ah probably then. I did laugh before we got it that he will be dependent on me😂

StrawberryJellyBelly · 02/02/2024 20:37

Op, you would be able to run, hike and walk. You can be as active as you want. I’d of too hot almost all the year round to go out/excercise out doors? No it’s not and I base my opinion on having lived here for 47 years.

StrawberryJellyBelly · 02/02/2024 20:39

People can just go to the off license now and buy their tipple. Even tourists. Does having Muslim name stop this from happening? Not if my personal experience is anything to go by.

CaribouCarafe · 02/02/2024 20:40

Ooft I wasn't even aware you were allowed to renounce Islam there!

To be fair, they don't really do much investigation, just check a box that says "not muslim" and ensure you didn't check the "muslim" box when you were issued your Emirates ID! But I guess it's a bit harder if your name is Muhammad or Ali...

PollyPeep · 02/02/2024 20:41

I would jump at the chance! The chance to see another part of the world, meet new people, not have to work but still afford a luxury lifestyle? Sign me up! For ref, I grew up as an expat and enjoy the lifestyle, wish I could return but my husband's job isn't suitable 😫 Sounds like you can pick up some work here and there, and honestly a two year career break is nothing. You'll regret it if you don't give it a go. What an adventure!

RandomUsernameHere · 02/02/2024 20:42

I've always felt totally safe running in Dubai on my own (early in the morning).

StrawberryJellyBelly · 02/02/2024 20:43

.Ooft I wasn't even aware you were allowed to renounce Islam there

You’re not. But I guess people love what they think is a good story.

Living in Dubai as an active stay at home female
Aintnosupermum · 02/02/2024 20:51

Go, see if you can work remotely or get a new job and work there. If you don’t have a visa to work, don’t go.

Whatever you do, don’t get pregnant straight after getting married. It’s a big change to move to a new country. Dubai is alright. Everything is there, home help is readily available and affordable but understand employers expect 12-14 hours a day from you. You want to make sure your marriage is rock solid first.

auntyElle · 02/02/2024 21:09

daretodenim · 01/02/2024 09:32

Been a trailing spouse and been around a great many. The ones who are happiest are the ones who feel fulfilled. If you like your work, be VERY careful about giving it up.

Practically though there are some things to think about.

  1. Pension: don't forget to calculate pension contributions at your current rate from work from your DH's pay when you're looking at expenses. Obviously neither of you will expect your pension to decrease due to his increasing, because neither want your future to be more limited because his grows.
  2. Marriage: check very carefully how divorce works if you're living in Dubai. NOT because that's what'll happen, but because right now if asked, you could give some options of how it would work legally and practically, were the worst to happen. You need to know exactly where you stand, before leaving the country.
  3. If your job offered you the chance to work abroad for two years, would he quit his for you to have a better career? This is important. Very important. If you get out there, start not liking it and realise THEN that he would never do this for you, it's a bitter pill to swallow.
  4. Can you get back into your career with 2+ years away? Look very carefully at what you're giving up. You can't properly decide you want to go there before you've fully looked into what you're giving up (and pension shouldn't be one of those things).
  5. Will he get all his pay and bonuses paid into your account? If not, when he's expecting you to give up your life for his career, why not?

When expat life works it's glorious. When things start to go wrong, they're FAR worse for the trailing spouse than they ever are for the employed one. I've never seen it the other way. Never. You make yourself vulnerable by giving up everything you know for his career. Sport is great for many things but you need to be smart about everything else too. I'm not being over cautious: I bet you get travel insurance when you book holidays, I bet you have home insurance even though you'll probably never need it. Moving abroad for someone else's career is a MASSIVE sacrifice. It pays off for some and not for others. You can help protect yourself by setting up "insurance" policies against to protect yourself. If your DH doesn't get this, any of the points above, then you need to think carefully about agreeing, because he's already not understanding what it means for you. Once you get there and he is going to work while you're not working, the chances of him understanding that it might be hard for you are near zero.

I'm not trying to be Debbie Downer. I've seen spectacularly awful things happen in expat relationships. I've also seen ones they thrive. The latter usually have a woman/trailing spouse in them who enjoys being a trailing spouse AND has a feeling of power that comes from knowing she has some kind of insurance. And that's partly because she's able to choose to stay in the marriage overseas, because she's able to choose to leave.

What a great practical post. You'd be mad not to take this to heart, @Louise0923.

MustBeNapTime · 02/02/2024 21:13

Dubai is 100% what you make it. Be happy or be miserable, totally your choice. I lived there for many years, before it was the massive city it is now. I am still in contact with many friends of many nationalities that I made there. You can run all year round, you just get up early and go out at about 5am, it is wonderful to run whilst the sun is coming up! Cleaners are an affordable luxury (although they are called home help, or maids by many...) but not necessary, many people don't have them. You can live anywhere you like, in an old style arabic villa in a well established back street, 20 storeys up in an ultra modern high rise by the beach or out in one of the many villa developments of town houses or massive detached villas. You can go camping out in the dunes or for a fancy all the fizz you can drink brunch. You can get a job, do charity work, study or be a lady who lunches. You want to do it? Dubai can provide it!

Ask to join the "British Expats Dubai (& UAE)" Facebook group, read through the posts and you'll get an idea of the kind of things that other people ask about and comment on and get a bit of a feel for real life and some of the problems (and solutions) you may come up against.

useitorlose · 03/02/2024 11:18

@ADpackage I live in AD, happy for you to DM me

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