Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Living overseas

Whether you're considering emigrating or an expat abroad, you'll find likeminds on this forum.

Original poster

Moved from UK & just miserable

65 replies

ohhhmy · 19/09/2023 21:45

Hi, I moved here with my hubby two years ago and just can't settle, seem to find myself constantly tiring my brain with movers remorse and beating myself up over miscalculations on life decisions.
We did it as our kids got into a good school here, and were unhappy in UK school and wanted to go to same school.
We also moved as I have no family really in the UK and my hubby has lots here, as he's a local, so our kids have llots of cousins, but i just can't help wondering 'what if' on if I'd stayed in London and other UK City we lived in. It's just such a change- holiday experience didn't cover it! I'm thinking I'm just too old to make new friends as plain don't have the energy after working all week. I feel foolish for fantasizing about a fantasy future that just isn't there. My kids, however, are very happy and i keep twlling myself to get perspective and build a tribe of like minded people...is anyone else new here and struggling?

OP posts:
Joopy · 19/09/2023 21:47

Where are you? Do you speak the language?

Original poster
ohhhmy · 19/09/2023 21:51

Oh yes, sorry, I'm English ....born in UK, worked in UK etc...yes I'm fully conversant and sociable, just feeling a bit lost!

OP posts:
CobraChicken · 19/09/2023 21:59

@ohhhmy

Where are you living now? You mention leaving the UK, but you don't say where you've moved to, so it's quite difficult to advise...

Original poster
ohhhmy · 19/09/2023 22:03

We're in St Martins, which is lovely- I can't complain on the parish, I just find the lack of familiar comforts making me feel a bit lost. We've had a few bad experiences on our house purchase too plus work/ career has not worked out like I'd been led to believe...cost of living price hikes kicking in post covid pretty much as we moved all lead to anxiety...

OP posts:
CraftyGin · 19/09/2023 22:04

It takes two years to feel settled.

CobraChicken · 19/09/2023 22:08

ohhhmy · 19/09/2023 22:03

We're in St Martins, which is lovely- I can't complain on the parish, I just find the lack of familiar comforts making me feel a bit lost. We've had a few bad experiences on our house purchase too plus work/ career has not worked out like I'd been led to believe...cost of living price hikes kicking in post covid pretty much as we moved all lead to anxiety...

St Martins... Hmmm...

Google brings up a few hits but I think we might be getting closer 😂

Are you living in Canada, by any chance, @ohhhmy ?

WellPlaced · 19/09/2023 22:10

Canada or USA

Poontangle · 19/09/2023 22:12

St Martins, Isles of Scilly? Confused

Orquid · 19/09/2023 22:14

Sorry yo hear that OP; it must be hard if everyone else is happy. It takes years to settle, make friends and feel more at home. Try to join some clubs, a hobby, etc. It seems like you will have to make an effort as you can’t really disrupt the family again? Or is Mo back an option?

How old are your children?

I think you need around 5 years.

Orquid · 19/09/2023 22:16

Would like to know which St Martins too?

Original poster
ohhhmy · 19/09/2023 22:19

The singular one...clearly not even got that straight in my head!

OP posts:
SM4713 · 19/09/2023 22:20

Any reason you are being co cryptic OP rather than just stating the country you are in??? Apologies if St Martins IS a country somewhere in the world, but google isn't showing that! 🤔

You said that you are fully conversant and sociable but do your children speak the language? Have you tried joining a hobby group, fitness class, interest group of some sort to meet people? There must be other ex-pats living there you could connect with. Where are your family living if not in the UK?

301963Laurie · 19/09/2023 22:22

Er where are you ?

Delphigirl · 19/09/2023 22:22

St Martin, France in the Caribbean?

Mangotango39 · 19/09/2023 22:23

I'm confused lol even more after last update!

Poontangle · 19/09/2023 22:24

At Martin, the island in the northeast Caribbean, approximately 300 km (190 mi) east of Puerto Rico?

Struggling to sympathise, frankly.

Puerto Rico - Wikipedia

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puerto_Rico

Mischance · 19/09/2023 22:24

What a piss take! Where exactly are you??!!

Tothemoons · 19/09/2023 22:24

This is maddening! Is it some kind of game? Like an international version of Mornington Crescent?

JustWhatWeDontNeed · 19/09/2023 22:25

OP please clarify what country you're in. There's a St Martin parish in Louisiana too...

Delphigirl · 19/09/2023 22:27

I was in st Martin Caribbean last summer. Caribbean island and beaches but with French Boulangeries and pharmacies. And FANTASTIC restaurants. Ie literal heaven.

cocksstrideintheevening · 19/09/2023 22:27

Caribbean?

TooOldForThisNonsense · 19/09/2023 22:31

Why won’t you say what country you’re in? This is weird

Original poster
ohhhmy · 19/09/2023 22:33

OMG it’s Channel Islands, Guernsey!

I never do mumsnet and thought it picked and filtered by location…

OP posts:
fortheloveofjamdoughnuts · 19/09/2023 22:33

I'm sorry OP but you're being cryptic about where you are. There are many 'St Martins' in the world (do you mean the island country?)

I also live abroad - and the experience and how long it takes to settle etc are dependent on location.

Before we can help you, can you therefore please clarify exactly where you are currently living?

fortheloveofjamdoughnuts · 19/09/2023 22:41

ohhhmy · 19/09/2023 22:33

OMG it’s Channel Islands, Guernsey!

I never do mumsnet and thought it picked and filtered by location…

Oh, no it doesn't. Haha that explains why in your first post you said "moved here" - and we're all wondering where "here"is.

Is it mainly a lack of friends that's getting you down? I sympathize on the job front as there are fewer options where you are however I wouldn't be 'what if-ing' about living in London with the cost of living crisis unless you want to remind yourself you've made a lucky escape

Is there anyway you could drop back on the work a little to free up your energy for socializing?