Raising Kids in the US or UK

[usorukcantdecide]

We live in London at the minute. One of us is English, the other is American, but we have both lived in both countries quite a lot, and feel comfortable in each. That said, for one of us England is much better work-wise (and perhaps personality wise) for one and for the other America is much better. That's just the way it is, job-wise.

We have two young kids (one in Reception now) and we really want to decide where we are going to settle down, as the older they get the harder they will be to uproot!

So since we are split on which place we like better, I'm wanting to know what people really think is better for kids. I know, it's vague. But what are the factors -- like schooling, etc? If it helps, the choices are between London and a large city in the Northeast (probably New York or Boston.) Assume living costs are about the same (though we have more for our money in London than NYC, for example) and that we would always strive to live in a place with good public schools.

London feeling really grim at the minute (and the UK in general with Brexit) is pushing this a bit, but hopefully that's just temporary!

Guess I'm thinking: schooling, personality, pressure, guns (!), lifestyle, etc. Politics is terrible in both places. All seem to have pluses and minuses.

Thoughts welcome!

It's not US vs UK:

it's which city and school vs another city and school.

London v New York, would be miserable choices for me. Is there nowhere else?

Gosh, how long is a piece of string? State of private school? US state school, especially in the NE are funded at 3-4x the rate of UK state schools. If your kids are going to use state schools then the US would win for me just based on schools. If the choice is between prep here or private there I'd stay here as I think the good preps here (huge giant sweeping statement!) are better than private elementary there.

In secondary I much prefer the broader US curriculum without the stress of GCSE/A level. The US doesn't sort and sift kids at such a early age either. No grammar schooo system where they lop off the top 25% at age 10-11. In and ideal world I'd go prep here and go back to the US for high school.

If it’s a choice between Central London and Central New York, then choose London as overall it offers far better quality of life.

If, however, it’s actually a choice commuter towns then you might want to go for New York State as it’s a lot better with kids than the South East. However if you are willing to be more imaginativr you could do this easier in the UK — a commute in from the Cotswolds / Peak District / Lake District / Southampton / Dorset to London would take half as long as a commute from some parts of NYS / Jersey.

It's worth considering the extortionate university fees in the US as well. A hundred grand (GBP!) just for tuition at top colleges. A US high school diploma won't get them into university in the UK (unless school offers an IB programme).

In terms of culture they are better off being raised in the U.K. American children tend to only know about America. British children have the advantage of Europe being close by and so their perspective is broadened by that connection.

@mimi — US kids tend to travel to Central and South America in a similar way that UK kids travel to Europe and North Africa. So cultural exposure isn’t a big deal.

Whoops, looks like I've doubled posted!

Yeah I’ve thought of the travel thing too! Though we would be back to visit family. And the US is so much bigger - you have to really leave the UK for vastly different cltures and climates - not so in the US. Difference between regions is amazing. We are not suburbs people. Boston seems like it might be a better option than NYC.

Hadn’t thought of university fees - hmm!

I have young relatives who work at American Summer Camps and from what I have heard I would choose the UK over the US.

@slugsinthegarden that's not correct. You can apply to UK university and many do without an IB. Each university sets out there entry requirements on their websites. Most male a decision based on GPA/SATs and any AP course grades.

Here's a link to Cambridge's requirements which set the bar the highest of all UK universities.

www.undergraduate.study.cam.ac.uk/usa

We love the US but university costs, medical costs and Trump are enough to keep us UK based with North America holidays (Canada this year)

Yes Trump kept us away at first but now the UK politics are so awful, the economy terrible and pollution awful where we live. Crime and homelessness up too. At least in the US Trump has no power over most of your daily life - schools, roads, policing, all up to the state. Liberal states like California are far more progressive than the UK right now. Suppose I might miss the NHS though I actually think it’s pretty crap - DS has health problems that are pretty neglected for “lack of consultants.”. Insurance in the US if you get through a job is not that expensive and the care is so much better. Ah maybe the fact that I’m defending the US means that we should move!

It's interesting you feel the care is better. I'm currently working for an NHS Hospital and one of our directors took a year sabbatical touring healthcare across the world and US was the worst he'd seen. Lots of pushing unnecessary tests all to make money. Sweden was the best by far, and Australia.

I guess it's all relative. The uk economy is good from my point of view in that dh and I have good jobs and living standards, but despite loving London I'd never live there. Similarly I love NY to visit but to live? I preferred Chicago.

I don't think there's a right or wrong answer. Whichever you choose, you'll never know how the other option would have turned out. I'd go with gut feeling and have fun wherever you choose.

Re homelessness, completely depends where you live. My town has 1 homeless person. The council has accommodated all the rest. Crime is stable too.

Don’t underestimate the cost of health insurance. A few of my colleagues pay 30-40% of their income for family health insurance (price goes up if you have any pre-existing conditions; and sometimes even if you were born outside the US)

Very interesting about the NHS! To be honest I find it very poor and the wait list shocking. Maybe it’s just a London thing? When I had my youngest at UCL they were short a third of midwives! You couldn’t even get a cup of tea mug less a meal. And I liked how in the US you saw pediatricians with yearly check ups. Maybe unnecessary though but it was nice. But does make me think.

Healthcare, education and crime rates all better in the UK.
Do you want to send your kids to a school with metal detectors and shooting drills?

Agree politics in both are crap at the moment.

American children tend to only know about America.

This is simply not true. Many American children may not have the opportunity to travel outside the US that children in the UK do, but world history and world geography are taught in virtually all school systems. In addition, the legacy of immigration is often kept alive culturally through many generations, especially with cuisine.

I would pick NYC/Boston in a heartbeat! I love London but the pollution is terrible, and agree re other aspects.
I adore America and American culture and if you can afford the life style I would say go for it!
I find Americans (I know this is a generalisation) really friendly and accommodating people and I prefer their health care system (if you have cover through work). You can then do holidays back to the U.K. also the weather is better and the schools are better.
I would worry more about crime though, in particular gun crime.

Oh the guns - ugh maybe that’s enough.

This is shocking as well though! Can it be true? www.google.com/amp/s/www.forbes.com/sites/timworstall/2016/03/07/still-true-even-mississippi-is-richer-than-britain/amp/

Good medical insurance ensures good health care in the US.

In the UK you pay for it but through taxes. And from what I read it's not the best.

Britain is, really (and I say this as a native of the place) a truly world class and world wealthy city surrounded by an entirely unremarkable European country.

^^

I'm assuming they mean London? Britain isn't a city....