I Hate London

[JamSandwiches45]

We've been here as a family for three years now. We moved from Auckland, New Zealand. I can't be the only expat that spends every day regretting the decision?!

Apart from the shopping and the proximity to Europe/US for holidays, I can't think of one thing that's better here than we had at home. The place is a filthy ghetto! The general attitude/reluctance for people to actually put in a hard days work is astounding. I won't even mention the schools, are DH is a supply teacher and the stories I hear are beyond me.. I fear for his safety daily.

I miss my house on the beach! Time to pack it in and go home I think.

Pingu or the OP doesn’t think the same way so would never think that Brighton is commuting distance to London?

In many places, travelling like this for work is not part of the ‘normal things to do.
And if you don’t know trains etc..l you might not connect the two places
Eg my DH who is british but has always lived ‘up north’ where 35 mins commute is a lot would never think about doing that.

Xpost

YY to other issues to be taken into account.

But a nicer area in London? Could you rent out your takapuna house and increase your income?

If you are this angry and unhappy, you will have to do something. You can’t just live hating everything and everyone around you

I did understand what you were saying Brexit. I was responding to your “send back home” comment. I have never seen that on these boards directed at someone who was asking for support. The OP made it clear she hated the place and was fucking off in October anyway. So a lot of posters wished her on her (not so) merry way.

JamSandwiches45

It's a public forum for debate so no, I won't "go away". You started this thread to engage in open dialogue and that is what we're doing. If you're not happy with the way the thread is going you can ask to have it removed.
PS. My DH is loving this thread as I'm sure you can imagine. You've made his day

@PersisFord We sold it to move here/pay medical expenses. I'm really not as angry as people are making out. I hate London, yes, I started this thread as an exasperated mother looking for fellow expats to vent to. The only times I have gotten angry are people who have made assumptions about my culture/heritage/experiences as a Maori/PI person who has suffers and continues to suffer, effects of colonisation -- which was off topic, but if it comes up I'm going to call it out.

Haven't read the whole thread OP. I'm from London but wouldn't move back there. I wouldn't describe it as a ghetto, as it's offensive and a gross generalisation, however crime rates are rising significantly, so I do understand why you would feel unnerved raising children in certain areas. Normal.

I'm not sure what you mean by reluctance of people to work hard. My family all live in London and work all hours of the day to make ends meat. Most people in London are extremely hard working. Many wouldn't survive if they weren't.

Maybe you should broaden your horizons a little? I live in Staffordshire and can safely tell you that I am a short commute from Birmingham (never been stabbed before and feel perfectly safe there, plus people do chat away to you!) and am a short commute also to Wales. I'm surrounded by countryside and lakes and couldn't be further from London. It's not horrific in the slightest.

I think the way you chose to word your post has upset a few people and whilst I understand what you're trying to say, you're maybe not putting your opinion across in the most eloquent or respectful of ways. It also sounds like you might have an issue regarding people's reaction to your heritage? I may be wrong so correct me if I am however there seems to be some discussion about being Maori and racism you've experienced. This is always going to tarnish your experience and nobody can blame you for that.

I was cringing when someone told you to go back to Australia...

Wish you all the best whatever you choose.

Read back all your posts, you sound aggressive and very bitter.

It didn’t come up. You made assumptions about the cultural heritage of all the posters you were talking to. You see how that is problematic on a hugely diverse forum based in a hugely diverse country?

@Chanelprincess having a good old laugh at the posts about my DD are you? You seem the type, god forbid something happens to you. Pathetic.

Staffordshire is horrific though calliope

Fascinating example of drama triangle going on here....

I'm in Auckland and I reckon I only know about 10% of the city really well. I love where I live and have no reasons to go elsewhere. There maybe a place nearby or on the other side of the city that will suit you.
Was the same when I lived in London. Only went South of the river a handful of times as that wasn't where I was based and needed to go.

JamSandwiches45

Actually, he's astounded at your relentless whingeing, negativity and bitterness. We all have challenges to face in our lives - you know nothing about any of us and what we may be going through so please don't make assumptions.

Just to repeat the question again, whereabouts in London do you live? I'm in zone 3 in SE London and don't recognise your description - perhaps if you gave us an idea of your budget and where you need to get to, the Londoners on the thread couls suggest some calmer areas of the city to live in.

I'm really not as angry as people are making out

Re-read your OP, OP.

I started this thread as an exasperated mother looking for fellow expats to vent to

Not sure when you did this. Just sounded rude about London. etc.

If you are an expat, then you'll be into part of a deal that hooks you into whatever benefits your DH's contract entails.This may include useful contacts.

As I've said before I also dislike living in London too, especially since I'm without DH at the moment as he's in San Francisco working. I'm also an Ex-Pat kiwi from Timaru/Christchuch and it is difficult. I don't know why half of you are here for a good wind up of someone that's clearly got a lot going on at the moment because they don't like your city. Let's all act a bit more like adults and a bit less like our DC.

I live in the NE and my DH has family down there and I hate it. I've been to London loads (and Thanet/Dover) and it's very unfriendly in my experience. London is expensive and overrated but I think it depends on the area as it's obviously a huge place.
One of my best friends had a sudden allergic reaction (to nuts) and collapsed on a busy street in London. She had her Harrods uniform on and looked very smart and people STEPPED over her on the pavement. It was actually a woman from Newcastle who called an ambulance. She almost died. No one local stopped to check she was ok or got help.

Honestly, people are acting like People who dislike London have some major personality flaw. Why not accept that it’s not for everyone and the OP has every right to hate it. I live in one of the most beautiful parts of the U.K. with easy access to gorgeous coastline but it’s very rural and a slower pace of life down here. No theatres, high art or culture on the doorstep (well some but not much). I’m not mortally offended if someone else says that’s their idea of hell. London has lots of good parts and lots of downsides. For a start it’s flithy, every time I go my snot turns brown/black! Can’t be healthy. OP I do think if you are that unhappy your DH would easily find supply teaching work anywhere. They’re crying out for supply teachers round here. Don’t suffer the big smoke if you all hate it that much.

Ok, here is just my take on this. I’m a massive NZ lover, go there as often as I can, and lived in Auckland for 2 years in my youth. The thing that stops me just moving there for good is the massive CONSCIOUSNESS surrounding race. I am white but my partner and kids aren’t and I find that I would rather live somewhere where it is generally less of a big deal, which I find is the case in the U.K. I also don’t think many British people know a great deal about the social history of NZ and so the issues surrounding its colonisation aren’t perhaps as well known as they are in countries closer to home. And the ongoing kind of schism in kiwi society between Maori/PI and pakeha is certainly not general knowledge in the U.K. So, I think some of the tension on this thread is perhaps coming from a place of misunderstanding, rather than a genuine desire to insult.

Along those lines, I think that many British people associate NZ almost exclusively with rugby, and it is possible that that is why you are being asked to demonstrate a haka - because you are a Kiwi rather than because you are Maori. But you were there and I wasn’t, and if it was offensive to you then you are obviously right to call it out.

If we take that all aside, you sound a bit lonely and miserable, and that’s understandable. Being an expat is tough, living close to one’s PIL can be a mixed blessing, and parenting a severely disabled child must be one of the most stressful and isolating experiences known to man. If you want to whinge about the U.K. and reminisce about sunny southern shores, I’m here for you! And I hope things get better soon.

Also, I think I win the prize for longest post

@Chanelprincess Oh yes, such big challenges you must face....yawn.

You are so rude OP.

criminals for daring to turn up to the ER with her, always asked for proof of citizenship and asked why we're in the country.

I had to access healthcare for a potentially serious condition while in NZ. I paid for it obviously and was asked those questions at every appointment. I remember vividly waiting for test results at a GP surgery when an elderly New Zealander gentleman cane to reception saying he felt unwell and wanted to see a doctor.

He was told very clearly he couldn't get an appointment until he paid his bill! I was shocked they would treat someone that way tbh. He was obviously a bit confused and known to them but made no difference whatsoever.

Asking for proof of entitlement to treatment is very reasonable and happens pretty much in every other country I've visited. You expect it as an expat.

@PersisFord Thanks, fully appreciate your comment. I agree race/ethnicity is a massive deal in NZ because we recognise things still aren't equal and we're trying to change that. Unfortunately in my experience (again, in MY experience) my family/DD have been treated like second class citizens in London and it seems to be socially accepted to do so. My DS who is 12 has been called names I won't repeat, and yes, ignorance is to blame but the haka is a war dance Maori used to protect themselves against British invasion.