I Hate London

[JamSandwiches45]

We've been here as a family for three years now. We moved from Auckland, New Zealand. I can't be the only expat that spends every day regretting the decision?!

Apart from the shopping and the proximity to Europe/US for holidays, I can't think of one thing that's better here than we had at home. The place is a filthy ghetto! The general attitude/reluctance for people to actually put in a hard days work is astounding. I won't even mention the schools, are DH is a supply teacher and the stories I hear are beyond me.. I fear for his safety daily.

I miss my house on the beach! Time to pack it in and go home I think.

We all experience places differently. Helen Russell lived 15 km from me in Denmark and I simply dont recognise a single word of what she writes. If you dont gel with a place then you just dont gel. Your experiences wont be true for everyone but will be for some. I hated living in Brighton. Most people bang on abouthow wonderful it is. They find it wonderful. I dont. Neither is right or wrong. Just different.

Youve given it 3 years I think you said. Thats a good crack. Cut your losses and move.

@buggedby I have no issue with providing proof of entitlement. I have issue with being harassed by several staff, reported to immigration for having a 'fake' passport, questioned as to why i'm in the UK as if I don't belong, refused medical treatment until immigration proves my passport is real, and all this happening while daughter is in status and could possibly die from her epilepsy. I don't think being refused an appointment without payment is comparable.

I couldn't live in London either. A green space in London is never as nice as a green space not in London.

I have no idea what you expected to get on this forum.
You’d enjoy an expat forum better- they’d wipe the floor with you though!
You have an unusual vibe emanating from you ~ try to get help with that before you simply crumble away!

If the NHS refused your daughter essential treatment, why on earth did you not head straight back to NZ? You can’t put your daughter’s health at risk like that.

Emergency treatment, seeing a GP and mental health services are free for all.

If your DD is admitted, you need to provide proof of entitlement. If you know she has a medical condition requiring frequent treatment, get the appropriate paperwork together, letter from immigration if necessary etc so it's a simple process.

I'm a nurse. I've worked with lots of overseas nurses where in many countries you are flat out denied treatment until you can pay. Even if it's life limiting. It's certainly not comparable to suggest your NHS treatment is on a par with that.

My partner was spat at by a Pacific Islander and called something I won’t repeat. There are dicks everywhere. You can’t judge a whole country by them.

Respectfully, as well, regarding the haka...yes, a war dance, with an important and often tragic history. But....also a massive tourist attraction. It is either too sacred and important to be used out of context, or it’s not, and that would be a Maori call. But if it is, it’s the All Blacks you need to speak to first.

Doesn’t fit the OP’s narrative though does it? She wants us to understand just how dire London is, which includes the NHS not treating her sick child.

But anyway, I digress. Good luck OP, and I hope things get better.

@buggedby Yes, done all that. There are ways things 'should' run and just don't. Apparently a British passport can't list 'Takapuna' as the birthplace, or it's fake, must say 'Auckland' according to the NHS.

My experience with the NHS was appalling, again, MY experience. I'm sure there are countries far worse off but the way we have been treated time and time again is nothing for the UK to be proud of. I'm sure yourself and most nurses work hard, but that doesn't negate my experience or make it any less valid.

So put your child’s health first.

Really, please leave. You hate it here and I don't think anyone will be begging you to stay.

At my kids' school, the majority of families are immigrants who have moved to London from all over the world. They are all different ethnicities, nationalities,religions. They're all welcome (as were my family 2 generations back) and the kids love growing up in London.

The problem is not London, or the UK. It's you.

I was born i london and spent first 20 years north and next 10 south and 25 in herts walking distance to the border. I would not live in London again,even the now MN "trendy" area, not worth the exhorbitant prices and i can get to west end just as quickly for less than £10 at weekends. I love the theatre and museums.

However im going out to NZ in October for a wedding. My relatives tell me the price of houses in Auckland are just as unaffordable as London.

and no, care is not better in NZ which is why we came here.

'Nothing to be proud' of but still better than NZ though

London is marmite.

You either love or hate the place.

I did love it as a kid, now I hate it with a passion.

I don’t moan about how it’s changed so much and is no longer the place I knew and loved for so many years.

I upped and left and am now happy in an area I am pleased to be able to bring up my children.

MN raves about London so you are brave to have even posted.

If you aren’t happy there though, please do leave.

Candyflip

Anyone could dwell only on the negatives of any country they've lived in. I could produce a list as long at the OPs about negative things that happened to me while living in New Zealand that includes issues with immigration, healthcare, racism, etc but that is all part of experiencing another country and culture, and ultimately which drives your decision on whether to stay or remain. Every country has it's own challenges, many of which you don't discover until you've lived there for some time.

You're coming off a bit...um...angry, OP.

A bit of an ex-pat vent online is fine. But there are approx 10 million people living in London and surrounds. Bit stupid to generalise about a population that is bigger by far than that of your entire home country .

You sound very racist OP.

Shame there's been a bit of nastiness in this thread.
If anyone wants to find out a bit more about NZ culture and its history, away from some of what has been said here, and as a pp said there's not much knowledge of it in UK, this website is great teara.govt.nz/en

Everywhere has its good and bad points, I grew up near London but wouldn't live there as I prefer quieter places, in same way I live in a more rural part of NZ now, I wouldn't live in Auckland for the same reasons.

OP it is really hard moving somewhere new, it takes at least 2 years I think to even really start to settle, that has probably not helped matters for how you feel. Kia kaha.

I cannot follow your posts.

You say in your posts that your husband is Australian then you call him British.

You say you are both working part time then ask how someone knows what salaries you are on.

You say you are Maori then say no one knows what nationality you are.

You hate London and you hate the British but came to live here.

You were never going to like it.

Oh and not everyone who lives in Britain is British

The only times I have gotten angry are people who have made assumptions about my culture/heritage/experiences
But can you not see the hypocrisy OP that you have done the same?
Vast assumptions and critical comments about the millions of diverse people who live in one city? And taking aim at the people who have posted this thread and holding them responsible for the wrongs done to your homeland centuries ago?
Britain's colonial past is not often a nice one, but no one on this thread is responsible for it. I am sorry that you feel your people and land have been wronged in the past, but that is not mine or anyone else on here's fault. To attack us for it is neither fair nor helpful to anyone.

I do get what you are saying OP, as someone who grew up in London and still lives here. Unfortunately there is a nasty tone policing you can get from Londoners whenever you say anything remotely negative about the place.

I think one of the reasons behind this taboo is that middle class people outside of London tend to live in much, much nicer areas than they are expected to pretty much anywhere else in the world. A median income in London gets you shittier housing in a shittier area, than people would really expect to put up with elsewhere. There is a lack of honesty about this and I can see how this could be a bit of a shock of you had been naive about living here.

I would question your use of the word ghetto though. It is quite the opposite of a ghetto and that seems to be your issue. Everyone is mixed in together in London and money and middle class values won't stop you being surrounded by the negative outcomes of late capitalism i.e. pollution, crime, poverty/poor outlook on life in the same way it will elsewhere.

I also think your view of multicultuaralism in London is interesting. Since I was a little girl it was assumed that by throwing everyone in together and having Hindu/black/whatever neighbours, race relations would automatically improve. In fact it is a huge part of a Londoner's ethic. Questioning it is quite taboo.

The fact you feel quite differently is interesting, and it is indeed a view I have only heard black people voice in the past, and many people on this forum may very well have not heard of the supposed success of London's multiculturalism being queried in quite this way in the past. It is a bit white around here

"Apparently a British passport can't list 'Takapuna' as the birthplace, or it's fake, must say 'Auckland' according to the NHS."

😂 As I recall correctly (I should - I lived there), Takapuna is a suburb of Auckland. This would be like listing Shoreditch as your birthplace, rather than London.

Your complaints are beyond ridiculous now.

👋🏻

That’s the very opposite of British multiculturalism. It has been to treat communities as homogenous entities. A practice the British tried out in their colonies first- both in East Africa and India.
Where I come from in India, you might think we are oh so multicultural. But actually Hindu upper middle class India is incredibly insular and anti Muslim. My kids interact with a much greater diversity of people (not just in terms of race) than they ever would back in India. I do like the throwing together of people that London offers.