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Living overseas

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Original poster

I Hate London

338 replies

JamSandwiches45 · 02/07/2018 05:48

We've been here as a family for three years now. We moved from Auckland, New Zealand. I can't be the only expat that spends every day regretting the decision?!

Apart from the shopping and the proximity to Europe/US for holidays, I can't think of one thing that's better here than we had at home. The place is a filthy ghetto! The general attitude/reluctance for people to actually put in a hard days work is astounding. I won't even mention the schools, are DH is a supply teacher and the stories I hear are beyond me.. I fear for his safety daily.

I miss my house on the beach! Time to pack it in and go home I think.

OP posts:
GorgonLondon · 04/07/2018 11:14

Persis 'feeling picked on' is not an excuse for publicly calling an entire city or country a filthy ghetto full of workshy racists. It's really not ok

Chanelprincess · 04/07/2018 11:22

PersisFord

I can see your point. Smile It is a discussion I've had with some of them in a wider cultural context, and it's really valuable in understanding the issues and challenges but as you say, we're digressing.

PersisFord · 04/07/2018 11:24

Gorgon you and Chanel just called a whole race workshy and lazy. Or, you didn’t, you just reminded the OP that that’s what some people think. Just in case it had slipped her mind. You will know, from living on NZ, just how pervasive and destructive this attitude is. And how incredibly AWARE of race the whole country is?

I agree that she has been rude and offensive. She has also given plenty of reasons for being unhappy. She was looking for a vent, and instead she has been SOUNDLY told off.

PersisFord · 04/07/2018 11:25

FFS living IN NZ. Not on. My stupid phone. And I have cross posted with you Chanel

fieryginger · 04/07/2018 11:41

I think you're choosing poor areas to live. London is not cheap. Living anywhere in this country where the poor people live, is grim.

I drive up and down England on motorways and we do, indeed, have a stunning country to live in, if you could afford a cottage in the country or one of our beautiful villages.

If I were you, I'd have never moved off a beach to a city in the first place. I would definitely return home.

GorgonLondon · 04/07/2018 11:52

PersisFord
Gorgon you and Chanel just called a whole race workshy and lazy. Or, you didn’t, you just reminded the OP that that’s what some people think.

No, j absolutely did not say that or anything even slightly resembling it. I'd appreciate it if you would retract that as it's entirely untrue.

ChiaraRimini · 04/07/2018 18:17

I think how much you enjoy a place is often much more about the friends you make than the place itself. Can't imagine the OP is making many friends as she's so negative, so no wonder she thinks it's unfriendly here.

sluj · 04/07/2018 18:24

Actually, ok you came here and you don't like it. It's fine to go home, we won't miss you.

Just a thought though - I am British and have lived in several corners of the UK so feel I am entitled to pass an opinion. As a guest it's just rude when you do it

PersisFord · 04/07/2018 20:23

gorgon I’m sorry then, I have misunderstood.

SleepWarrior · 04/07/2018 20:49

It's really tough moving to a city in another country, especially as an adult who doesn't have previous experience of living abroad
Even more so if you've brought kids with you from 'home' that mean you're living a trapped lifestyle and never had the chance of the adventurous no ties thing there pre-kids.

Depression rates are high amongst people not living 'at home', and the things you notice and struggle with will often seem preposterous and insignificant to people who are from there. It's normal. The place and people seeming friendly is massively subjective, lots (not all) of people moving somewhere new feel the place they came from was more friendly!

Do you have a plan to stay forever? I found that adjusting my plan to be a 3year one rather than a forever one took the pressure off and made it more of a fun experiment to make the most of. My perspective then shifted quite quickly into a much more positive and healthy one.

PatchworkGirl · 19/07/2018 16:30

We have schools in Wales. And supply teachers. Just fyi.

LooeyG · 19/07/2018 16:50

😂

Halogenbub · 24/07/2018 02:58

hey @JamSandwiches45 I am really sorry you feel this way. I am an expat and recently I got this inescapable feeling that I just want to move home to the UK. It can feel really challenging to get through a day when you don't like such a fundamental part of your life.

But the reality is it will take time to move and you can't go on feeling this unhappy. And feeling so negative cuts you off from experiences that could get you out of the funk.

Maybe think what can you change now? Perhaps you can think about the top three things you're unhappy with? Plan some fun - like a trip out of London to see some open space?

I wish you luck and I hope you get to move home soon.

MrsWhirly · 24/07/2018 03:04

Byyyeee.

Gorrillagirlfanclub · 24/07/2018 03:11

Etino
what you said

dogfish1 · 08/11/2018 21:43

OP, I am a middle aged Pakeha Kiwi guy from Auckland who has lived around London for many years now. Physically, I agree it's an ugly mess in many places and that still mystifies me given its wealth. Overall I'm utterly through with London, I'm there for work, and I know that one day soon I'll leave. And there is nothing wrong at all with realising that London just isn't for you but some others love it and neither of you is wrong.

But Auckland isn't perfect either and as you know it has racism, traffic jams, violence, poverty, wealth and loneliness in spades. I think NZ still has the highest teen suicide rate in the OECD and one of its highest rates of domestic violence, so it ain't paradise.
NZ is also hyper capitalist with lower top income taxes than the US under Trump, taxes for low earners from the first dollar and lovely tax breaks if you're rich, so it's not as Scandi-progressive as many think. People in London are about as friendly as they are anywhere else. I know all my neighbours, which I never did in NZ.
You seem to have a very negative, binary attitude about the British and their history. Sure, some of it was appalling, including in NZ, and it's great that that's now being addressed, thanks partly to a British based tribunal system. But some of it was great too. I don't know which Iwi you're from in NZ but I suspect if you look back at your history you'll find some of it wasn't pretty either. History's like that, IME. The past was a nasty place.
I hope you find a way put of London - I don't think you will ever like it much - and back to somewhere with more sun and space.

Luna9 · 08/11/2018 22:01

I dislike people who move to a country and all they do is complain and talk about how marvellous is their home country. You moved here for a reason, no place is perfect, make the most of what London has to offer: culture, history, parks, free museums, festivals, great restaurants, art; you always discover something new when you go out:

"Who is tired of London is tired of life"

anniehm · 08/11/2018 22:06

London is brash and people are rude, I didn't realise that until I left and discovered that people actually are nice, it's not normal to treat people so badly. An hour north of London and it's a world of difference - people even strike up a conversation with you at the bus stop! Schools here are probably not a bed of roses but I have plenty of teacher friends who are happy enough - I suspect having 10 minute journeys to work and houses costing only 3 times their salary helps!

sensesensibility · 08/11/2018 22:07

I'm from London, and I love living here and bringing my kids up here. Yes it's busy, yes there are challenges, but nowhere is totally perfect. I love the mix of cultures in my kids' school, my workplace, my tube carriage. The free museums, galleries and parks, the amazing architecture and incredible history mean that we can explore and discover new things together as a family. My children have so many opportunities to discover new skills, and there's always something going on. I don't find people rude, I have plenty of chats with cashiers, shop workers, people on the tube etc. Maybe your clear disdain and attitude is putting people off wanting to talk to you, it's pretty crap being looked down on!

MyBrexitIsIll · 08/11/2018 22:08

To be fair to the OP, you never see a place the same way when you are from that place than as an outsider

Of course, as a Londoner or a Brit, you will find plenty of very pleasant people in London.
As a foreigner living in the U.K. for nearly 20 years, I find it extremely hard to fit in. Actually I still always think twice befire thinking, have the constant feeling I’m saying something wrong etc...
Basically, the place doesn’t feel as friendly to me as it does for all the Brits around me.

I also think that it alway hurt to hear from someone else that actually the place you think is great and is HOME is actually not that great. And that they dont like it.
But it’s kind of weird to see MN, full of people ready to ‘say it like it is’ recoil in horror when someone does exactly that!

Ineedachange · 08/11/2018 22:16

This makes me laugh.

My husband is from Auckland. I met him in Auckland and he came back to the UK with me, and for 2 years we lived in London. He wouldn't go back, even though his Mother pleaded with him to go back.
In fact he loved London so much that 2 years later, when we had agreed to move outside of London when we got married, he wouldn't move. Only when I told him I wouldn't get married did he move out of London with me, and he didn't need me to stay in the UK.

I loved Auckland, and the country is beautiful. However, I wouldn't stay either Wink

AtrociousCircumstance · 08/11/2018 22:19

This thread is about one thing: the OP is not ok. She’s in crisis of some kind.

I hope you get the support you need OP.

Sitwhereyoulike · 08/11/2018 22:24

London is a dump on the whole.

Sitwhereyoulike · 09/11/2018 06:24

London is a shite hole with no real proper identity anymore.

Too crowded too noisy too dirty and too expensive.

It's absolutely hideous and whilst the tourist areas are fun and good to see the pace is definitely somewhere not great to live.

Say that as someone born in London with three generations before me.

It's a dump. Cut your losses and get out!

strawberryredhead · 09/11/2018 06:36

It maybe depends on what part of London you move to. We live in a bit where there’s loads of parks which I love for the kids (and myself).
We moved from Scotland and I have to say I’ve been amazed at how friendly the people are. People talk to me everywhere - on the bus, in parks - far more than they did in Scotland. People eagerly help with the buggy and one guy literally lay down on the platform at the tube once to help us get something we’d dropped on the tracks! The impression I get is that everyone works TOO hard - there is a culture of working hours that are too long here I think. Although in my area a lot of people have sought to reduce their hours so they can do the school run / spend more time with their families (not that that’s possible for everyone).
I think if there is a culture clash or if you are homesick, it will be very hard to find a place likeable.