Possible move to the US - with teens / preteens. Would you?

[TheExtraGuineaPig]

DH has been asked to think about whether he would consider a move to the US (California - silicon valley) in the next few years. Our kids are 10 and 7 now so they would be about 13 and 10 when a possible move would take place. What do you think? We have lived overseas before when they were very small but I had mentally committed to them staying in school in the UK from now on. I am worried about the effects for them socially of course but really have no idea how bad/ even possible it would be for them to move with regards their education and exams.

Any advice or experience gratefully received!

The US is extremely compartmentalised/segregated - whatever term you want to use to describe a lack of socio economic mix.

Most gun deaths occur in inner cities and are a side effect of the drugs trade. The mass shootings are the ones that make the news, but daily shootings in deprived areas of cities large and small account for the vast majority of gun related deaths.

I hardly ever lock my back door here, and leave my car unlocked most of the time too. There is very little petty crime, and no graffiti as the local police come out with a power washer to clear off whatever little amount of tagging that occurs.

I live less than 15 minutes on foot from one of the most violent police districts in my state, on the west side of Ch----o. You would never guess it.

Gun violence is a difficult one.

I hated living somewhere where I didn't know who might (legally) have a gun on them. The only visible guns I saw were on security guards and police officers, but I knew a number of people who owned guns and for whom shooting was a main pastime.

But... The only gun deaths in the state and timeframe that I lived in the US were definitely gang related (much like Moss Side or Tooting), suicides and one "death by cop" involving an individual with very severe mental health problems who really should have been in a secure unit for his own safety. If you're not planning to live in downtown Detroit, gun violence is not something that should feature too highly in your list of concerns - as pp say, the driving is generally terrible and a far greater risk to your health

All the schools in our district had fences but no gates around their fields, so on one hand someone could get right to the door, but on the other hand the facilities were used by the whole community outside of school hours (we went to the playground and school field most weekends to play). But all of the external doors into the school building were securely fastened - even the main door into reception needed buzzing open for non-pass holders. I'm genuinely surprised to hear about a school with such lax security

I am also surprised to hear of a school where you could walk to the classroom. They don't let parents do that at all in either the elementary or high school my DCs attend/ed. Parents don't even go in with their 3 year olds to the preschool room for drop off or pick up in the elementary, and in the high school you have to explain the reason for your visit, the front desk people double check with the person you have an appointment with, you show ID and are issued with a printed hall pass, and then the interior door is unlocked and in you go.

There was an armed guard at the door of my children's primary school in Queen's. I think he was a police officer but couldn't say for sure (a while ago now). Very different to their London primary school! I never felt particularly threatened in New York though.

The main difference we found school wise was that there was a lot of pressure to perform. My children both had to go to an extra class to catch up because of the different syllabus, and they had a lot of homework as well. The slightly older children we knew routinely had two hours of work every night.

We had to leave because dh lost his job (LI visa) and I'd not go back. If you have a good employer and a contract with low co-pays for healthcare, additional holiday etc I think life can be good but international moves are stressful, expensive and risky.