Does anyone regret moving abroad?

[sinnamom]

I have been living abroad for the last 8 months and although I know this isn't a long time I really regret leaving the UK.
My DH is a local and I speak the language fluently and had previously spent a lot of time in this country so the decision to move here was well-thought out and seemingly the right thing to do. The irony is I always envisaged us coming to live here and certainly to raise our children.
My DH keeps telling me I just need time to adapt but I'm not convinced. Has anyone else experienced this and did it get better for you?

you know, it's the land of improvisation, this is why it's franca-friendly

Agree with all of you especially regarding the supposed 'child-friendliness' of Mediterrenean countries, i find the Uk much more child friendly. I just wonder if i am really going to spend the rest of my life here (Spain)....hope not, but cant see any way out!

Malaleche - do you think it has been better for your child/children to have been brought up in Spain? Where exactly are you?

We're in Granada. Been here 16 years. DCs are only 3.5 yo and 6 mo so dont think they've actually been 'damaged' by living here yet. DD1 does miss her Granny tho and all her wee cousins and the fact we've no relis here at all (DP is also from another country) means they don't get to go off with other people much, they're just with us all the time, boring.
It would definately be better for them to be somewhere where there were decent grassy parks, toddler groups (DD1 is at a very nice nursery tho, so cant complain really) and child-oriented activities of which there isnt much here. Granada is a smallish town, about 300,000 plus ever-growing suburbs and villages. It has changed a lot since we've been here but still doesnt have much to offer kids imo. However it has all the negative aspects of a bigger city - noise, pollution, crime etc. etc. We don't drive tho so maybe if we did it would seem different, we could go to the coast etc. It's so dry here tho, i miss grass!!!!

The only thing im glad about is that they are bilingual. however if i lived in the UK im sure id find something i didnt like about the lifestyle there too. When i go back (for up to 7 weeks in the summer and another 2 in the winter if im lucky) there isnt really anything about it that bothers me tho TBH...

I moved to France 2 years ago and I regret it. We're supposed to be moving ot California soon though (we're leaving here on Friday, got to get a US visa in the UK for my DP, takes a few months). France is nice but I just don't belong here. Not sure about California either, DP hates the UK but I want so much to go home and stay there that I really wonder if I'll get on the plane in the end... I've lived in different countries most of my life (especially as a child)and now I know where I want to be.

Sinnamom - if you're still watching this thread - I've been living in Madrid for seven years and now have a nine-month-old son. DP and I were thinking of moving back to the UK but now see how child-friendly Spain is and we're keen to stay.... but we'll see how it goes. Anyway - just wanted to say that we could hook up in Madrid one day if you fancy it....

Impy

She was, she was a right miserable bugger.

LGJ legs it.

Oh do piss orf, there is a good girl.

In all seriousness what I found disturbing about your time in Germany was your descent from this is not right for us, to being totally and utterly crushed by the whole thing. Added to which two sessions of DS being proper poorly when your DH was away did not help. See I was paying attention.

And I remember the plastic melted on the hob. Just call me Sherlock.

Pippi, Franca, Cauli and all those who slag Italy off...I am not nationalistic at all but it is not that bad for children here. True to say that many public places and shops still do not have baby changing facilities - apart from Ikea, which is notoriously not Italian (!) - but I think things are improving especially here in the North. We often go out to restaurants and it might have happened only once or twice that they had no highchairs. Plus I find that the atmosphere over here is quite relaxing and far more tolerant when you eat out with kids.
Anyway, ciao a tutte!!

Just got back after a week in the uk, we all went out for dinner on saturday night to a pub for supper. I was somewhat taken aback and so were my dc when they returned to the table saying they had been told to get back there as they weren't allowed in or around the bar!! I had forgotten how anti family the uk is, good job the food was great though!!

Hi Impy -
many thanks for your kind offer. As soon as DS is a bit older and not permanantly attached to my boob that´s something I´d really like to do
I´ll keep this thread bumped...Are you in the centre of Madrid?

Cool Sinnamom - whenever's best for you. The Plaza Mayor's virtually my backyard - so yep, we're pretty central! Hopefully catch up soon. Impy x

Interesting to read al your comments about the luses and minuses of life overseas. I've been abroad (originally from UK) for about twelve years now. DS was born in Sri Lanka and I subsequently raised him by myself there for four years (long story!!). Being abroad meant I was apart from family support, but it did mean that I could afford decent full time child care and get my own life and career back on tracks, which I doubt I would have been able to do as a teacher in the UK.
I teach in the International system (the International Baccalaureate programme) and love my job as well as what it gives my son as he grows up in such a multi-cultural and internaitonla environment. I applaud those of you who immerse your kids in local school with all the hassles of learning a new language, although we get kids all the time, new to school, for whom English is a new language.
DS2 due to be born this July, and I am actually going to have to go to the UK to give birth which is scary, as we have no home there. I'm looking forward to options like water birth and midwives which were not available in Sri Lanka.
Now in Azerbaijan, whihc has been a huge culture shock after Asia forthe past ten years - having to deal with cold winter weather and dark days has been really hard. I intend to be here for four years, and get through the culture shock bit by bit - every time I achieve a major success (like finding out where I can buy wrapping paper and sellotape for example) I applaud my pioneer spirit. Some close female friends would be nice, but itall takes time, and when most women out here are SAHMs and I am busy all day looking after their DCs, it's hard to find time to meet socially!
So - that's me...

sinnamon - remembered this thread this week when I got my first wave of real satisfaction with my new life abroad. I've been here 10 months and have had some really tough times but this week everything has suddenly become fab. Maybe it's to do with the winter ending and all the lovely sunshine but it really does get easier. I know it sounds corny to say it but I now feel that we are 'living the dream', that we have achieved / started to achieve all the things we came here for. And because of that I feel more positive and no longer feel lonely.
Anyway, despite my rant, I came on here to say that I hope it won't be too long before you too feel settled and happy with your new life. It's a patience game.

Really admire your spirit BakuJen

Thanks for your message Burek, glad to hear you´ve turned a corner. Afraid I´m still feeling really lonely. I´m putting all my energy into my trip back home in a couple of weeks. Hopefully it will help me see things from a different perspective...

bakujen - your post really touched a chord with me! it is hard to be out at work in a foreign country. most of the foreign mums here are sahms as well, married to bankers or like, they all meet for coffee and shop at posh supermarkets that I cant afford!