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Living overseas

Whether you're considering emigrating or an expat abroad, you'll find likeminds on this forum.

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Original poster

Expats, what are your pet peeves about your family abroad now ?

92 replies

expatinscotland · 05/03/2007 22:46

Mine would have to be people who say they'll come at a certain time, so you go all out planning.

Then they cancel it for some lame ass reason.

I stopped planning, I just get on with it and plan our own deal and if they make it over and fit in, great, if not, fuck it.

OP posts:

DaddyCool · 08/03/2007 13:40

and anyway, if it was up to me and DW we'd flit around country to country all our lives just messing around but we've got ds and he needs stability and he starts school soon. the clock is ticking so we need to make our minds up.

Earlybird · 08/03/2007 13:43

Understand your dilemma completely. It is wonderful to have flexibility/freedom to move around, but it sometimes makes it extra hard to commit to anything/make a decision.

DaddyCool · 08/03/2007 13:45

oh, it is wonderful. and we have to remind ourselves not to be spoilt brats about it. most people don't have the freedom to do what we have done and we have no right to complain about anything (still do though).

but yes, makes for some hard decisions though.

In honesty, I think we're coming back in the summer... I just like english people better!

Earlybird · 08/03/2007 13:47

Did you sell/rent out your place in the UK? What did you do about your furniture?

Asking because I've got that dilemma on the horizon - a should we go/will we like it/want to stay, or will be want to come back as quickly as possible?

DaddyCool · 08/03/2007 13:55

sold the house, banked the equity and it grows interest wise in line with the way houses are going right now but of course you only have that luxury if you've got some good equity but i reckon it's better than renting out because it gives you the income and your house isn't a complete mess when/if you come back.

furniture is in storage. expensive but again, if you decide to come back the cost of shipping it over and then shipping it back if horrendous. we bought cheap when we got here and we'll just take a hit on it if we go back. it's funny though. we've bought some stuff we really like and we'll ship it back! If you pack everything well and organised, you can simply arrange the shipping company to access your unit and ship it all over if you decide to stay but the storage cost if pretty bad. Something you're best to save a bit for and pay up front to avoid the monthly pain. plus, if you pay it up front to avoid big yearly/6montly price rises.

foxinsocks · 08/03/2007 13:59

oh daddycool, I was wondering how you were (asked further down the thread, ahem)

Sorry to hear it's not working out

Don't rule out flitting round countries - I moved around a lot as a child and I can't say it did me that much harm. My parents were true nomads and could never quite choose where they wanted to be. There's something very exciting about living in different countries as a child and your little one is still quite a few years off school so you could try out some more countries if you wanted!

Original poster

expatinscotland · 08/03/2007 14:04

I also moved around countries a fair amount as a child - my father was a petroleum engineer and dual national.

I survived!

So do thousands of others.

My folks still flit around quite a bit, as my mother has a French passport and my father a Mexican one, in addition to their American ones.

In fact, it'd be nice if they stopped flitting for a bit!

OP posts:

DaddyCool · 08/03/2007 14:04

it's working out! ... just don't know what to do is all.

i think it's bothering ds a little. we think he's keen on staying put in one place for awhile.

I also moved around alot and no, i don't think it did me any harm. saying that, i remember being very upset each time my silly dad would come home and just tell us all we we're going somewhere else. especially if the current place we were was really good.

kitbit · 08/03/2007 15:03

ooh, great cathartic thread, thank you!
2 things bugs me.
We have lots of people come to stay because you can easily get cheap flights here. Great, we get to see our friends, but very few realise 1. how costly it is to put people up!!! 2. that it might be their holiday but it's our working life, just because the sun is out doesn't mean you don't have to pay the bills, leading me to 3. just because we have our own business we can't just swan off when the mood takes us. We can certainly be more flexible but if anything, paying the bills becomes even more of an urgency!

ooh, feeling better already.

2nd thing ...is my step mother's complete refusal to believe that because we have moved to the sun that I even work at all (shows genuine surprise when I say I was in the office till late again) and therefore her growing resentment as she really does think we have flitted off to the sun for a life of suntans and sangria. She also keeps saying (heavily laden with thinly disguised envy) "ooh I'd love to live in the sun, I love it when it's really hot" even with me continuing to try and explain just how debilitating it is to try and exist in constant 42 degrees. Meowmix, definitely with you on this one!

....and breathe....

DaddyCool · 08/03/2007 15:34

nice one kitbit.

my in laws are funny. really helpful and great and i love them to visit but MIL is a hoot.

she thought in canada everyone would be living in log shacks and the town center would be a general store and trading post!

we live in an old, quite british looking home and she said 'i didn't expect it to be so civilised'

she thinks people here 'smile and carry on' just a bit too much though . 'silly people' she says.

paulaplumpbottom · 08/03/2007 15:57

LOL at the thought of barbaric Canadians

Ivor · 08/03/2007 16:24

Earlybird, just a little cautionary tale if you do decide to rent out your home in the UK (if you are in the UK ) just make sure you remove all your family's names off the electoral role.
Will make sure none of your tennants can use your identity and run up huge credit card bills
Because they'll get anway with it even if the police do have a stack of evidence against them, ohhh makes me soooo

Earlybird · 08/03/2007 17:21

Interesting thought Ivor, that would never have occurred to me. Sounds as if you've had a bad experience learned the hard way?

Ivor · 08/03/2007 17:26

30K the hard way yes
But as we could prove neither I or DH had been in the country at the time we were not held accountable.
What really peeved me was I could never get that amount of credit, batrds

Rojak · 09/03/2007 13:50

How do you remove names off the electoral roll? I'm having a bit of a panic now as elections have just been held in Belfast and our house there has been let for almost 6 months.

Ivor · 09/03/2007 15:24

Don't panic, I think we were just un lucky with having shisters for tennants.
Get in touch with your council and request to change your vote to either a postal vote or by proxy, they'll send you the paperwork. Depends on your county council you might be able to do it on line?

mamama · 09/03/2007 15:29

Ivor sounds awful. Rojak, it is easy to organise - we just write to the council every time we move and are registered to vote overseas. They send us the documents when elections come up.

Back to the OP - does anyone elses family insist on pointing out cars when they visit? Driving with my in-laws over here is a nightmare:

"Oooo, Toyotas, we have them in England." No, really?

"Oh look a Mercedes!" Wow.

"We used to have a Honda, like that. And look, there's a VW. Fancy that."

Yes, were in the US. They have cars here.

DaddyCool · 09/03/2007 17:33

oh yeah mama. all sorts of stuff like that. their car (honda jazz) is the called the honda fit over here which they had to discuss in great detail.

the food and same places, different names is the big thing with them (but to be honest, it is quite weird). HP sauce here is different from HP dauce in the UK. Same packaging, same look, same purpose... different ingredients.

I don't get it either tbh!

heinz beans (same name different ingredients)
HP sauce (same name different ingredients)
walkers is called lays (same company)
b&q is called home depot (same company)
orange is called telus
hyundai lantra is called elantra
vw bora is called jetta

the list goes on and on and i don't understand how the same company can have different, and what seems unessessary differences.

i obviously have to take some international marketing courses.... or possibly get a life

brimfull · 09/03/2007 17:35

whereabouts in Canada are you daddycool?
My family are in Dundas Ontario,anywhere near there?

DaddyCool · 09/03/2007 17:38

yup! Dundas is quite a nice place, other side of toronto from me - 2 hours drive. I'm in Cobourg, Ontario - North coast of Lake Ontario.

brimfull · 09/03/2007 17:43

brrrr sounds cold!

DaddyCool · 09/03/2007 17:44

oh and there's another one. MIL just can't be convinced that the great lakes aren't the sea. it looks like the sea, smells like the sea... must be the sea eh?!

I tell her it's a lake and she just looks at me as if i'm stupid.

DaddyCool · 09/03/2007 17:45

it is. getting warmer now though. plus figures whoo hooo!

brimfull · 09/03/2007 17:50

my parents would love to come back to uk,but sadly can't afford to now,because fo property prices.

DaddyCool · 09/03/2007 19:24

is canada not for them?

out of curiosity, what are their problems over here?

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