Is there still a German Thread?

[BeatrixBurgund]

We've moved back to Germany after 8 years in Switzerland and Scotland, and with the kids in school, I just know I'm going to have lots of questions about the Bavarian education system.

And I'd love to catch up with all the folk I used to chat with (even if I can't remember their usernames!). I'm on a namechange - it's MmeLindor here!

Well done Dora!
Department Christmas lunch today, one of my colleagues (also not German) was complaining that nobody dresses smartly for these, so I've put a frock on to raise the standards.

Hello all, don't post very often but took my B1 test on Sat, it felt gruelling...have to wait 3 weeks for the results. Also aiming to apply for citizenship.
Recently used a jar of mince meat from last year and the frozen blatterteig to make my own mincemeat 'tasches'- they were lovely. Am missing mince pies, but really enjoying the chocolate covered lebkuchen and the stollen.

Violet, seriously, do it in the UK. Everyone kept telling me I should and I waved them off because I was worried about adapting to the different rules.

I should have done it. You can always book a couple of lessons with an instructor when you get here to familiarise yourself with the local rules if you need to. The German system is complicated and very expensive!

Yum chocolate covered Lebkuchen! DPs mama sent us two bags (which I shouldn't eat as I have Gestational Diabetes!) and I just love the stuff. My brother is getting me the Jamie Oliver Christmas book so I can learn a good mince pie recipe for next year, I need to eat lots of mince pies in December!
Bertie that's what DP says, he keeps nagging me to book the theory test. I cycle most places so really don't feel like I need it but he rightly points out that the UK is far smaller than Germany! On the other hand there is a train station in Dußlingen so... 😂 I need to get on and get it done and then yes, find someone to help me not kill anyone driving on the wrong side of the road. And driving with a left hand drive car! I just need to slap myself and book it all. Bleugh.
The move date is set, we fly on the 18th February! Our talk is all about the freibad and biergartens and breaking out the BBQ more than twice in the summer 😃 DP is ridiculously excited, he has lived in the UK ten years now, he can't wait to go home.

Cardi I have noticed that at weddings too, everyone seems to go much more casual. I quite like it, I must admit - and that folks wear flats so much more. My kind of people 😊

Hi all, can I join too please? We moved to NRW in July 2014. I have DS in Grundschule and DD in her final year of Kindergarten, would like DC3 but I am more than a little worried if and how different midwifery is here (I have a medical phobia). My Father is German and him and my mother are here with us. We have a zweifamilienhaus but it's not divided up correctly, so it's a bit difficult.

I have family here, most of them in Hamburg, and some near by in Detmold. I am ashamed to say my German is appalling! After being chronically bullied in UK school I have some kind of mental block stopping me from actually speaking. I do feel that I belong here, but we are very rural and I don't get out much.

The finding of this thread did however put a massive smile on my face.

Yes I love the fact nobody dresses up! We're in a techy city as well so it's basically full of geeks I fit right in and don't feel frumpy at all!

Sugarplum I have heard great things about the maternity care here, it can be very very natural and midwife-led if that's what you prefer. You do have to go to a Frauenarzt in the beginning and they do seem to do loads of (IMO) unnecessary scans and blood tests, but you can opt out of those IF you're outspoken enough and/or you get a FA that listens to those kinds of concerns. (Mine does not - I would look around before you start TTC if you can).

Tomorrow is English carol singing with the wonderful English speaking ladies I've come to think of as my "expat family" if you know what I mean. I am looking forward to it greatly :) DS is coming and even bringing his school friend to play board games with so I'll be in charge of two kids rather than one which always makes me feel secretly a bit more accomplished too! Plus I've learned enough Kinder-German to communicate thanks to teaching the classes from hell at the language school

Bertie my Hausarzt is lovely lady who has previously been incredibly helpful. Both DC were actually born at home, in the UK, but I'm not sure that would be much of an option here. We are only in a little village, but I've heard that birthing centres do exist which would be so much better than a hospital. DH has told me that Parental leave here is better than in the UK, but obviously it's all new. As we were married and both DC were born in the UK we don't have a family book, so have no idea how we would go about registering a new baby here.

Hi Sugarplum, it's pretty easy registering a baby here, you just take the paperwork you're given from the hospital or geburtshaus along to the local standesamt (local to where baby is born, not where you live) and they sort out the birth certificate. You can request an international one which is helpful for the future and you get various copies for health insurance, maternity pay etc. And that would be the start of your family book

I have my German test next Friday. Can anyone let me know roughly how long the oral part takes? I've been told I need to be available from 9-4. I hope I get an early spot for the oral test as DD1 has her kindergarten Christmas party that afternoon, really don't want to miss it.

We are having "Christmas dinner" with my inlaws today...I'm cooking for 10 I'm not a very good cook but we try and do this each year as we always go back to see my family for Christmas. I'm doing yorkshires for the first time, wish me luck!

Can I ask here if anyone has any experience of nurseries in Bad Homburg please? DH may be relocated there and we would like a multicultural nursery. Am I on the right thread ?

I live in Bad Homburg TeaAddict and my DD has been in a nursery and is now in kindergarten. what age is your child and are you interested in private/bilingual or state run (or city run as they are here) and how multicultural they are? Happy to give more info but will check back in tomorrow, have to get to sleep now, it's been a crazy day!

Does anyone else feel a little confused or unsure how to deal with nationality across the whole family? DH wants to get his German citizenship, but he has to wait, which is fine.

I have struggled a great deal with my identity all my life, suffering a huge amount of bullying at school, this year thanks to the wonder that is Brexit I have since found that I have been bullied on almost an subconscious level by my English grandfather, who has now completely disowned me for daring to publicly admit that I consider myself German.

Does anyone feel that they want their entire family (meaning DC) to all be the same? I'm not sure if and how I can get the children acknowledged as German if I go through the process and at the very least get my dual nationality. Does anyone know if my DC can have dual nationality, or pretty much any information? I have done so much reading, I have managed to totally confuse myself.

Sugarplum I don't know if your kids can have dual nationality or not, do you have German nationality already? If you do and were born in Germany then your kids are automatically German, that is the case for us, DP is German and our kids have German and British citizenship, all we needed to do though was a name declaration as we weren't married but wanted to use DPs surname. As we weren't married they recognised my surname automatically (very generous of them I thought). We move in two months to Germany and we will have DP German, me British, both DCs between us German-British, and my older DS British. So we're a mixture. If the Brexit thing goes tits up I am either going to get an Irish passport thanks to my dad being born in NI, or take German citizenship - but will probably see if the Irish route is easier (to keep free travel etc). I am considering taking DPs family name so I don't get quizzed at passport control anymore but we shall see. Welshcake how did the Christmas dinner, and Yorkshire puddings go?

Sugarplum your DC can have duel nationality if they have one British parent and one German. They no longer have to choose between them at 18-23 years old (but Brexit could change that, nobody knows).

We have always been one parent German, one English, kids technically both (though I've never applied for UK passports for my younger German born kids just because German are so much easier and cheaper) but I am now in the final stages of getting German citizenship - just waiting on one bit of financial paperwork then can go into the Landratsampt and pay for my certificate of Germanness the nice lady said :o For now I can keep both passports, so will be the same as the kids (but not DH who is just German).

trotz I'm told that I can get my ID card and passport fairly easily, which will then give me my dual nationality (my parents were told when I was born dual would be pointless as the EU would become one huge thing, oh how they were wrong). Apparently I just have to prove my right to citizenship, via my Dad's birth certificate.

I think until this Brexit mess has been sorted, dual is the sensible way to go. If I then have both, I would, in an ideal world, like DC to have both also, but I'm not sure if that is possible, if you see what I mean, as they are both British. Any further children, I would like to be the same, so even if any more were born here, I would like them to have both. Seeing as DH would still be British, that should be possible?

You can have a home birth in Germany - and on state health insurance even. Your issue would be finding a midwife (hebamme) who does them. If you want one who speaks English, that combination might be even more difficult. I would recommend asking around and maybe phoning some different midwives to ask, explain you're not pregnant yet but looking for options for the future, and then ask them to advise you what week of pregnancy you should call them to book in, because they get booked up very fast.

But yes if that turns out not to be an option, birthing centres are very popular and everything I've heard has been very pro-natural, which is nice. Even if you have to be induced here the first thing they do is give you a "milkshake", not drugs! (Apparently it's horrible because it has cod liver oil and other things in it, but I thought it was hilarious.)

About registering a baby's birth - apparently it's very simple, but you do have to take your marriage certificate, for some reason. British ones DO NOT have to be translated under EU law... but they might get funny about it being hand written (if yours is... ours is) and not having a stamp on it because (as my friend hilariously wrote when I had a circular discussion with an official who just could not understand that my marriage certificate was real)... "everything needs to be neatly stamped.I think people that do these jobs have some sort of OCD.the guy in Luxembourg was so careful when choosing the right stamp, then finding the right spot to stamp the document,then gently but firmly pressing....at one point I wanted to take his stamps and start stamping them all over his face."

Thanks Bertie I find here that you do have to put your foot down with certain authorities, I am very lucky that my uncle has the very sterotypical German to the point with no apologies attitude. If I know in advance then I know to prebook my Uncle for a trip out, our marriage certificate is indeed handwritten. As I have this phobia, I try not to look into medical stuff at all, do you really have that much control over your care? I mean in the UK, I couldn't even choose which hospital when 2 were equally close. I will definitely look at what is around here, all the children in DS's class were all born at the one hospital.

Sugarplum yes, here you can choose which hospital you want to give birth in and you usually choose a midwife for your post natal care. She comes to visit you at home and checks on the baby's progress but also how you are getting on. If home birth isn't possible you could look at a geburtshaus as they are midwife led and as Bertie says very natural. I know a few people who have used them and had very positive experiences.

It's great you've got your uncle as back up for admin help!

Violet Christmas dinner was lovely thanks! And the yorkies turns out really well. Will definitely be making them again!

You ladies are great! By natural do you mean no pain relief? With both DC I did have gas and air, with DD only for 20 minutes, but nothing at all might be a bit too scary. I have had to visit a hospital, but my doctor here is so wonderful and saw sorted out where to go and got me appointments, I didn't realise I had a choice.

My Uncle is great, but he is still a man LOL. I just need to tell him exactly what I want and then let him steam ahead.

Welsh congrats on the yorkshires! My MIL at the age of 57 still can't make them!

Anyone else done an integration course I finally got a date for mine today, the start of May I am very lucky it is in my town I was worried I was going to have to travel to a neighbouring town, which could have made it difficult to get my DD to school.

Sugarplum, I had both my children here and there was quite a choice of antenatal care, you can do almost everything with a midwife if you want. Personally I went for the more medical options but I know plenty of people who have had good experiences with a Geburtshaus and one of my colleagues had home births, although that doesn't seem very common here.

No gas and air here, they just don't seem to do it and when I asked they obstetrician he didn't know. Shame, it sounds like great stuff. They can give you other pain relief, but I'm not sure what as I asked for an epidural.
Regarding the marriage certificate, we got an official translation as ours is a bilingual Welsh-english one. Every time we have to show it to anyone they give the same reaction: you got married where?

Yes you choose your own midwife and your own hospital and your own frauenarzt which I find all very strange, nice, but I don't ever really know how to look for one and end up stuck with the first one I find. You don't need an uberweisung to see a Frauenarzt and they tend to do your smears and breast exams, as well as prescribe any hormonal contraception. I recommend looking for a FA that you like before you get pregnant because some of them have long waiting lists, and I find their offices a bit intimidating because most of them have the examination chair right there in the office. If you have any female friends locally, I would ask for their recommendations. And when you call, ask if you can be seen in a more neutral office? Some of them do have separate rooms.

I find German medical care in general is a bit "This is the correct course of action so we will proceed" rather than asking/discussing your treatment with you and they tend to be a bit baffled if you question things or try to refuse treatments so it's important to look around for one who is more willing to discuss things if that is important to you. I suppose that that is why you have the choice of different specialists. BUT, I also feel like pregnancy isn't treated like a big medical thing the way it is elsewhere.

It's true that there is no gas and air (you could ask about it, the medical name is entonox or half nitros oxide, half oxygen, I did hear that they trialled it in one of the hospitals where I am, but no idea if they still have it) but they have a lot of stuff like birthing pools, balls, those swing things, and if you did want stronger pain relief I hear they are very efficient about it, no horror stories like the UK when the midwife tells you you're not in advanced enough labour and then by the time you are, oh no, oops, sorry, it's too late.

I want to do an integration course after I pass my driving test and pay off the driving lessons. It feels like my next step. I'm not hugely happy in my job and speaking better German would open up loads more opportunities for me.