Maintaining/Managing Relationships at home

[Hariasa]

We are relocating abroad later this year.

Having read some recent threads (from both perspectives) about the difficulties of long distance relationships with families and friends I'm becoming increasingly nervous.

Can anyone offer any distilled wisdom on the best way to keep everyone (fairly) happy?

We are only intending to be away for 3 years so I'm keen not to permanently damage relationships.

For info one set of GPs are supportive of our move, one set are not.

I'm not sure it will be good for the children to be constantly skyping (or tied to a fixed Skype schedule) but at the same time we need to keep in touch.

Would really appreciate advice on how to handle contact, visits etc. (We're already 'in trouble' because we won't be 'home' for Christmas this year).

hmm, tough one. There isn't really an awful lot more than just regular Skype, photos every now and then and Facebook. We emigrated with the complete support of both sets of GPs. Over time I found my parents became less keen to face to face Skype (if the connection wasn't brilliant they couldn't be bothered) so preferred phone calls.

My only advice about visits is make sure you are very settled well before you have any guests. This could take a lot longer than you might think. My parents visited us after 5 months of us moving and it was tough as I was still finding my feet, getting to know where to go etc. I had a toddler in tow and just hadn't been to all the amazing places as our weekends had been spent buying cars, furniture etc. I think my parents were disappointed that having come all the way to Oz, I wasn't a great tour guide for them as really didn't know where to go! It was much better when they came the second time as we had been there a lot longer.

I actually think people make more effort when you're abroad. I've been back a year now and nobody likes my photos any more lol. We couldn't fart in oz without 290 likes

Thanks If and piss. I don't tend to post much on FB so I'm going make an effort to post more 'news' once we're abroad.

I think our first set of visitors will be the 'supportive GPs' and they never go anywhere without being armed with a guidebook so that should be ok.

Recent threads have rather implied that moving abroad is pretty selfish with regards to those left behind.

This is a job move and we don't have a great deal of choice but I don't want to hurt anyone more than we have to.

Following with interest as we are in a similar position, with one set of GPs ok with it and one set acting very hurt. Have decided that if it's being seen as a selfish move I have to just think about myself and my little family, I can't do a great big promotional tour and try to get them all on board. My friends suggest not going home for a year, though we have siblings with kids due before Christmas. It's going to be hard, and it's only us who get the pay-off, so I can't waste energy feeling bad for other people being sad about it

Facebook. It's a lifesaver. My family love seeing pics of the kids and our adventures on there.

flymo I know how you feel.

We're only going for 3 years, it's a job move we don't have much choice over and the move itself is stressful enough that I don't have much room for anyone else's angst, I really need to focus on the DC.

I completely understand that they'll miss us, we'll miss them too. I was just hoping for a slightly more stiff upper lipped attitude I think.

For relatives who don't use technology as much we're been using an app called 'Touchnote'. It converts photos into postcards and sends them directly to your chosen recipient. I send the Great Aunts postcards every month or so with pictures of my DDs on. Or if they draw a picture for someone I photograph it and send it on a postcard. It's so easy and quick and much less hastle than trying to work out the correct postage to send a letter from here. And I don't have to worry about the writing being legible either

MrsMortis thanks that sounds brilliant, I'm off to have a look at that right now.