Moving to Melbourne

[Emslifechoices]

Hi all,

Can anyone offer any advice? My DH has been offered a role with his current company in Melbourne, Australia (for 18 months - 2 years). We've both wanted to move overseas and go on an adventure for a while but the timing is a bit rubbish at the moment. We're in the process of TTC and selling our flat in London and buying a new place outside London.

I'm a lawyer and don't like my job so have applied for (and got) a job in a local firm near to the new house (better hours etc). I really like the house we have had an offer accepted on and am excited about leaving London, getting a puppy and giving this new job a go (even though I know that this isn't my dream job as it's still in the law). Lots of people may say that we're settling down but I think I'm ok with that!

So, for these reasons I'm temped to say I don't want to go BUT I really don't want to turn round in 2 years and regret that decision / wish we'd gone. I know we could carry on TTC whilst there but I'd lose maternity benefits (even though they're not great!). Plus I would want to be near our families when we do have a baby.

I do love Australia and definitely want to travel more there. I'm also worried about career options, I am pretty sure that I'd only be able to work in a big international firm and I really don't want to do that. BUT as I don't love law and am thinking about a career change perhaps going away might give me the push I need to find what else I want to do. If we do go I think it would be more sensible not the buy the house as things may have changed in two years. Although we could buy and rent it out (to cover the mortgage).

Any help/comments/tips appreciated!

I would be very careful, I think you need to think about the variables here a bit more. For example, what happens if you don't get pregnant, or need assistance to do so? Would you be happy either getting a job in an international firm which you are not that enamoured about or would you be happy not to work for the 18 months-2 years that you are out there? What happens if it is extended, and one of you wants to go and one wants to stay? Have you looked for any positions for yourself? Also, remember your small, local place where you have a proven track record may be more amenable to flexible arrangements than a new, Australian one. Your husband is staying with the same firm, so will be storing up an element of "goodwill" with them for those difficult early years. What about your career change, have you thought about what you want to do and is it possible to do it in Australia?
I have moved abroad with my husband's job and wish I had considered all of these things. My qualifications are non-transferrable and very UK centric, part time work is impossible here from what I can tell. I cannot emphasise enough how hard it is to raise kids with no family support at all, you are also committed to long visits as well when you live so far away.
Incidentally, all the people I know here who rent properties back in the UK have had real hassles, small but annoying things, people not paying/leaks and repairs, we sold as having done it before didn't want the hassle! If the house is a project, you will leave without putting your stamp on it.
I am just advising you to be careful, you could end up really resentful and stuck in a job you don't like. Sorry to be a downer, but I know quite a few expats where the whole thing hasn't worked out.

I'm one for seizing the moment.
Why would you only be able to work for a large firm? There are lots of small and medium firms and they are generally much easier to get roles in those than in the big top-tier players.

Get an agent to manage your house back in the UK so you don't have to deal with the hassles.

People get pregnant in Australia just as easily as they do in the UK.

The family thing is a consideration, but, having done the reverse, I would suggest getting an au pair or similar just to give you that little bit of support in those early years. I found moving home an having family around far less useful than having an au pair on hand!

Life's short. Get out there!

I second the above sentiment..

Give it a shot. Aussies do get pregnant to.. they do have huge numbers of baby groups. I work part time, not sure why it's impossible?

In life we regret what we don't try not what we do.

Thanks all. Chloe I agree I think we'll only regret it if we don't do it. Can always come home if it all goes wrong.

New development - it looks like our house purchase has now fallen through so we now have less of a "tie" to the UK. I'm sad about the house but trying to see it as fate (ie it wasn't meant to be).

Hi, my own experience has been there is never a perfect time to travel and live abroad, go for it! My only advice is that you and your DH have a clear agreement about length/going home/what happens if one hates it etc...I have met too many people where one partner loves oz and the other desperate to go home, it tears marriages apart unless you have both committed to a plan/timescale and review! Good luck

If you are thinking about a new career, 18 months is time to do a Masters or Graduate Diploma and get yourself into a new field, if you can afford it. What are you interested in moving into?
It would be hard having a baby without immediate family around, but lots of people do it and it is easier to move a baby than older children who will react to loss of friends etc.

Melbourne is lovely. I'm very much of the opinion that you should give it a go...what's the worst that can happen? You don't like it and head home. That's hardly the end of the world!

Having a baby here isn't too different from the UK from what I can tell. I had my first privately and to be honest it seemed better than friends in the UK. Excellent level of care.

Having a job to come to, one who sponsors a visa, is the best option. Especially if it's your husband's visa. That way you get a spouses visa which essentially gives you free reign to work, study or whatever.

We did it with a 2 year old and a new baby. Sounds hard on reflection but 2 years in and it was the best decision for everyone. I went from a full on job in London to finding an amazing part time job in my industry. Our time is nearly up and we are both quite keen to stay as life has been easier for us here despite missing family. I'd say go for it - nobody really said this to me - I think they thought we were mad but I'm so glad we've done it. The hard part is now deciding if we should leave!