Foreigners in the UK: What do you just not "get"?

[NotQuiteCockney]

I've been in the UK for 10 years now, I think. I do not understand:

• the Archers
• tea (why? why? why?)
• cryptic crosswords

Anyone else?

Napoleon definately had something to do with it, but it sounds like at least one pope (in the 1300s) wanted people to walk on the right. The Americans went for right-side laws two years before the first French one.

I loooovvvve those toilet seat covers you get in the States and yes you're right you can see into public loos and they have big gaps under the doors too.

What I don't get about Britain is why in the last 9 years the Govt has actively seeked to dispose of Britain's ancient traditions and customs.

I don't get conservatories either. Ours is crap and is either freezing or boiling hot, depending on what the weather is doing.

Oooh, why do Brits only use balconies as storage rooms? Balconies are lovely, you can pretty much live on them, and it's not like the weather isn't warm enough, a lot of the year. (And they're nice in the rain, too, as long as they're covered.)

But they only actually get used to store crap on, as far as I can tell.

I'm probably biased, one of my home cities is sometimes called "Balconville" - "Balconytown", more or less.

(But then Brits are v wimpy about the weather, anyway ... they can't understand how I can bike all through the "winter".)

It's because they don't dress up properly for the weather, NQC. I remember my mother visiting me in Warsaw, when it was minus fifteen, thinking that a short wool jacket with a cotton roll neck jumper under it, and jeans would be quite warm enough...

Bidets RULE!

Yes, here is to bidets

We use ours to wash feet. I haven't really got my head around the bidet ... so to speak.

Hmm, I find Brits generally overdress for the weather, although not as badly as Germans. But then Canadians are inclined to wear shorts if it's over 15C ...

Erm, NQC, you were not instructed in proper bidet use ?

I learned from my S. American nanny.

My mate is just about to re-do her bathroom ... she was told by bathroom showroom that they hadn't sold a bidet in 3 years

brits do not know what to do with bidets

No, I was not. We don't have 'em back home, and I never had a nanny.

I've stayed in places with bidets before.

I do know what they're for, but the jet on ours is quite, ahem, lively and I find it startling. Also, the angle is weird. I have used it properly, but not for ages, and it just seems a bit slovenly to just wash one's bits.

NCQ, lol @ the coma! Can see it happening though.....

Dh reckons the nations that drive on the right are all wimps who couldn't fight their way out of a paper bag.

As to Brits being weather wimps - ds's IL's were horrified when I ate my brekkies on their patio when it was 'only' 68degF!!!

One serious q - why do Americans still use the terms 'handicapped' and 'retarded' even in the media. It makes my stomach turn.

so, you have got one?

You could use it to wash out your mooncup, NQC .

How much awareness there is about various issues varies from place to place. I find the UK really backwards on wheelchair facilities (so many stairs!) but great for blind people.

Similarly, I can't believe everyone here uses the term "Oriental", which is really really not ok back home. It's a really dodgy word with a dodgy history and best forgotten, although to be fair, it's probably mostly progressive people who are aware of its offensiveness back home. (DH works with someone who honestly thought it was ok to say "I'm going for a chinky" when going for a Chinese takeaway. )

Aussies drive on the left - think they do in the Carribean too....

in the british caraibi, don't think in the french ones for instance. and probably in new zealand, although not sure

I haven't heard the term Oriental for years - do people really still use it in the UK?? I must lead a sheltered life.

I love bidets, I have to say, esp at TOTM. Also ueful for many other things such as bathing babies and small dogs, soaking icky clothes etc.

Oh yeah, another thing - why do you have to clear your table after eating at cafes in the US? Isn't that what waiting staff are for?

Sweet things for breakfast - hmmm, which would you rather have, a kipper and grapefruit, topped off with marmite toast, or pancakes with proper maple syrup?
By the way, NQC, aren't you somewhat near Spitalfields? If so, do pop into the health food shop there, they sell BIG tubs of PNB, smooth or crunchy.

As far as paper bags with no handles, if you hold it by the handle, you are more likely to get a rip in the bottom of the bag and everything can fall out. Plus, there's very little carrying done as it's just unloading the groceries from the buggy/trolley to the car and then from the car to the kitchen.

I think Wild Oats and a few places like that do have paper bags with handlesbut actually most stores do plastic bags (with handles) now.

btw, what's a kipper? And marmite?

Mmmm. Kippers.

Nothing beats an Abroath smokie.

This chap from an Abroath smokey got permission to trade at the Edinburgh Farmer's Market - he needed special permission b/c he was outside the 35 mile radius.

The queue was ENORMOUS. He had 5 hands to help and they were going nonstop. The kippers were smoked over whiskey barrels w/burlap sacks over the top.

I got us a few smokies, and some for the ILs and SIL.

Worth the wait!

OMG! Pure heaven.

What I don't get is Bovril.

As a bevvy.

Blech.

Ya, actually, I do like kippers, but they don't like me! (And if I am truthful, I actually now prefer a savoury breakfast to a sweet one!)