Living in America 2014

[rootypig]

Shiny new thread. After an epic visa fuck up we are starting out (again!) in LA in a few weeks. I am English, DH is American (from southern California), DD is 21mo. I am going back to work after several unintentional years out and terrified. No clue what I want to do, which doesn't help.

Come chat about all things American!

Thanks for the tips everyone. So helpful to have the vocab to help me get off the ground and start googling! And i will remember to watch out for those sweet church girls. My 3yr old currently runs rings around a whole team of well trained staff at her nursery, so she's definitely going to need some tough fibre to chew through wherever she goes.
Also great to know about YMCA as an opportunity for a family connection. YMCAs round here are a completely different kettle of fish. Any other ideas for ways to meet new families, that aren't church related?

Look out for Park District programmes for tots -- skating classes, soccer, pee wee sports, crafts, and art classes. When your 3 yo turns 4, look out for T ball

I met loads of people via my local thriving YMCA and the swim and gym classes I took the DCs to there. DS went to preschool there three mornings a week at age 4 and fell madly in love with his teacher, Miss Louise, who actually hailed from London.

Thanks mathanxiety. You're clearly a US living pro, great to have some ideas of where to start building connections ??

The sweet little church girl freaked DH out. He called me from the bathroom begging me to come home as he was legitimately concerned that she might accuse him of something. She was nuts.

I have found here on the east coast most are selectively religious. The Y can't survive without being open to all so there is little to no religious overtone unlike the JCC which is an extension of Temple. The catholic church will never recover from the abuse cases and I think the Y has distanced themselves from the church for this reason.

So what is everyone doing for Halloween? DD is Doc McStuffin and Ds is a dragosaurous as I couldn't get a dinosaur outfit for him. They have a parade in town so we are doing that followed by trickortreating. DH is going to be at home distributing candy while I am taking the kids out to collect it. Not buying candy until Friday morning!

I sent a token candy packet earlier this week to the three DCs who have flown the coop, and the two remaining DDs have decided in light of nasty weather forecast and the fact that they are both over 5' tall and got a few raised eyebrows last year that they are not dressing up and going out this year. Also, DD4's bestie comes from a family that shuns Halloween so BF is not available (or indeed allowed out of her home) that night. So we may well go out to eat in lieu of the usual celebration.

We're going to a neighborhood party tonight. DD (2) is dressing as Curious George and DH is sacrificing his dignity for the happiness of his children and will be The Man With The Yellow Hat. DS (3) is going as No Noggin the Haunted Headless Scarecrow, a character who is only familiar if you've seen Curious George and the Halloween Boo Fest (which we have, 300063887 times thanks to DS). I'm excused from dressing up having spent the week dying stuff yellow and creating the illusion of a headless toddler using a chopped-up swimming pool noodle and sticky tape. On Friday we'll just sit on the porch with kiddos and hand out candy.

It's our first proper Halloween here as last year we were on our way home from Denver. I'm a bit nervous about the prospect of DS getting his hands on so much candy at once. I'm very aware of how much more difficult I find it to limit his intake here as it seems such an integral part of any festivities (never mind bank tellers, optometrists, dry cleaners and the like handing out lollipops willy-nilly).

Sounds awesome. DH is opposed to trick or treating so I have decided to assign him the job of answering the door! According to DH trickortreating is akin to begging so I call him the grinch who stole Halloween.

My plan is to recycle some of the candy the kids collect by giving it out to those who knock after they are in bed. Last year we used what DD collected as her bribery bait. I'm planning to do the same.

The DDs and I absolutely love Curious George. We still watch it (aged 13, 16, occasionally DS aged 21 when he is home from university, and me, ageless).

Hi all - just looking for some advice and support / ! We're moving to Manhattan in June for 12 months, for both of our jobs. DC2 is due in May, DD1 will be 2.5 when we move. We have accommodation and childcare sorted out. I'm planning to take an American-style maternity leave and return to work in September (eek!). At the moment our plan is for DH to fly out to get the apartment organised, and me to fly out a few days later with my mum with the babies. DH will start work pretty promptly when we arrive.

I'm looking for advice about

• furnishing an apartment for only 12 months, should we just go to Ikea and dump / sell the furniture when we leave, or is there the possibility of renting furniture in NY?
• shipping a small amount of our belongings e.g. jumperoo, scooter etc to NY; are there any companies / shipping methods that are quick and reasonably priced?
• differences in vaccinations between UK and the US, and registering us all with a paediatrician / primary care physician? How does this work?

Thanks in advance - I have a feeling I'll be a regular on this thread for the next few months

I'm hoping to find the time to create a ghoulish grotto under our kitchen table for my 2 tiny tots to eat their tea in, before we go trick or treating.

Yes I agree re sugar MrsF, I can imagine it's an ongoing battle to limit it - good idea to spread it out. Or give it away. Or eat it yourself after they've gone to bed

PS. sorry movingalot, I can offer no advice whatsoever, I have some similar questions - but good luck. It sounds like it will be an adventure!

You will need your DH's and/or your American health insurance info in order to find out what doctors you should be looking at. A family practice might be your best bet for a 12 month stay, as you could all be seen there. It is like a GP practice except involving private health insurance instead of NHS coverage. As soon as you have your health insurance information, start looking for practices on the insurance list that have openings for new patients. Your baby will be due shots at 8 weeks/2 months and again at 16 weeks/4 months and 24 weeks/6 months, and ideally in the American scheme of things you would have a 6 week checkup post partum, so it's worth making this a priority. Don't mention the short term stay in NY when you talk with doctors. No harm if they think you prospective lifers.

NY state vaccination schedule here (pdf)

I would go to Ikea and plan on selling or leaving furniture in an alley when you leave. Does your company or your DH's offer any relocation package that would cover schlepping things from the UK and back? If not you might find the expense prohibitive and delays could make it a waste of time. If your companies offer relocation money, then I would spend it in Ikea. You are going to need household appliances that use American electricity so prepare for a certain amount of shopping no matter what. You can get adapters for computers.

You can buy things like a jumperoo and scooter in NY, or consider FedEx or UPS for large item shipping. If equipment can be folded down or disassembled and put back together then I would pack items properly (they will do this for you in FedEx and send them this way.

Wrt Halloween candy, I have:
(1) eaten plenty myself, and
(2) let them eat it til they felt sick to their hearts' content, then packed an item or two in school lunches daily (no lunchbox police here) for a few weeks
(3) kept the hot cinnamon flavoured candy for mouth ulcers and putting in hot chocolate and vodka.

I'm sure there will be furniture rental in NY, there was when I was in Chicago. Often you can give back stuff you decide you don't need (I took a full package but gave back washing up bowl etc. as it was cheaper to buy and chuck/hand on).
You may need to pay your UK GP for something for the uS, if they aren't starting school it may not be so crucial.
If you are only there 1 year I would take as little as possible, except a good UK buggy.
Make the most of everyone's luggage allowance (including your Mums).

There are Rent-a-Centers in NYC where you could get things like a TV and furniture. I have never rented anything so can't comment on prices, location of stores, or service. You might find buying in Target or Walmart cheaper than paying to rent monthly.

I would suggest you look into establishing bank accounts for yourselves ahead of your move, if possible as soon as your visas are approved. You will need some sort of credit history or will find that you need to pay cash for everything. How much help can your companies give you on this score?

Thanks - brilliant advice about furnishings etc! Unfortunately we're going over on academic fellowships so no relocation package; will get some grants but doing everything on a shoestring! There is a high turnover of our colleagues there so we're hoping that someone leaving will offer us furniture second hand but we've been offered baby furniture but nothing else so far...

I did an online Ikea shopping list, and can get a 2 bed apartment furnished easily for around $5000 which is doable.

Will look into FedEx shipping; I think the main thing is speed of delivery. I've heard that you can send large bags in advance on commercial flights (ie not a flight that you are on yourself) - does anyone know anything about this?

Oh I set up my Bank account via phoning the London office, as a result I had Private banking, which was handy. It only became fully operational after I had my social security number.
There is a lot of bureaucracy, and sometimes it's confusing, but it's as well to be prepared.

Get on Craigslist or Freecycle and you may find enough furniture being offered by people in similar positions to yourselves to tide you over nicely.

If you're in universities you might even find grad students moving on and trying to unload furniture -- maybe try to make contact with postgrad deans' offices to see if this is ever a possibility.

We've been on our first halloween outing this evening, to a community-run parade round a park. I don't think DS realised there was candy up for grabs, so was happy with just the glow band given out by the dental surgery stall! We're out again Friday night to another event run on our street. Apparently, they even have a petting zoo coming!

moving, sorry, but I don't really have any advice, although definitely look on second hand selling pages etc. we came over in July but we're lucky as we came to a furnished apartment. WRT to baby stuff, though, have a serious think about what you actually need if it's going to prove expensive. I was really worried about not having enough toys/ equipment for DS (nearly 2), but we've really come to realise how little we actually need.

Movingalot

I would just get a job lot on Craigslist....people coming and going from ny....just look up moving or estate sale on there......be savvy and avoid sofa or beds because of small bed bug risk.....or see if there is a BritsinNewYork face book group as they often have selling pages with ex oats coming and going..,for one year I would not be buying new at ikea...it is all out there used for a fraction of the price.....good luck with the move.

For a year I would not ship anything...buy it cheap and get rid before you return home.

Welcome moving. I second looking on Craigslist once you get here. There are lots of people here on short term assignment and half of our home is furnished through craigslist. I'm getting our dining table on Saturday on there too!

Do look for daycare/childcare now as places fill up, especially for newborns. while it will be hard to find an apartment at this point I would pick the area you want to be in.

Hi moving! a year in Manhattan, so exciting. I second what everyone says about IKEA and craigslist (we are IKEA central here, since I wanted new bed and sofa at the very least. I can recommend the Karlstad sofa and the Gulliver cot is excellent )

For bringing things like scooter (i.e. sufficiently portable and expensive) and other sentimental bits and bobs, you are definitely better off paying excess baggage with your airline and bringing a few extra bags than looking at Fedex. Check in advance - BA, for example, let you buy extra bags in advance and that's cheaper than doing at the airport. But I'm pretty sure kilo for kilo, it's the cheapest way at about £50 for a 23kg bag. Shipping is not that cheap, and definitely slow.

For bulky baby stuff, everyone's right about craigslist, you'll find everything you need - have a gander now.

So I screwed up with the Halloween costume for DS. It is so small on him that the pants stop at his knees and I cant get the hood over his head. Stopping by Rickys on the way home if our nanny isn't able to exchange in the Ricky's around the corner from us. Who would think a size 2-4 would be too small for a 20 month old!