Living in America 2014

[rootypig]

Shiny new thread. After an epic visa fuck up we are starting out (again!) in LA in a few weeks. I am English, DH is American (from southern California), DD is 21mo. I am going back to work after several unintentional years out and terrified. No clue what I want to do, which doesn't help.

Come chat about all things American!

IT IS RAINING IN LOS ANGELES!

For the first time in MONTHS.

A rain/snow mix turned to all snow here at the heart of trick or treating, and not pretty flakes floating serenely down either -- it was blowing sideways, in sharp little frozen pellets. There were scores of brave little trick or treaters out all the same. Best costumes I saw were a pair of boys dressed as the Blues Brothers, running from house to house along with everyone else (running to keep warm and minimise time spent unproductively traveling from door to door). We have snow on roofs and grass this morning. I don't think I have ever seen snow at Halloween before this year.

Snow! a distant dream.

Of course it is 75 degrees and sunny again today.

OK have seen a Fisher Price jumperoo on Craigslist for $25!! Shipping seems like madness now. Will go with the excess baggage option and beg, borrow or steal whatever else we need over there! Re. childcare, we are lucky to have access to heavily subsidised daycare, so have listed DD and DC2-to-be for places

alpaca I know exactly what you mean with the sizing. People here in NJ tend to be shorter and I guess they size for the average. DS is 20 months and in 3t and DD is 3 and in 4t or 5t. The sizing in the uk is great and in Denmark I have to go down a size!

Math- we had snow the week after sandy. I was miserable as we had now power.

I found that Dunnes (Irish chain) baby and toddler clothes were very reliable for fit and extremely good value. Many of the things that people sent over from there lasted for five DCs.

I remember that horrible blizzard after Sandy and seeing stories on the news of people without heat or light or running water.

Good to know about Dunnes. I am going to be ordering stuff online as I don't have time to fuss with finding stuff here. The ususal suspects are not great. GAP is about as good as it gets but the trousers are skinny ones this year. DS was born a chunkster and a 3T skinny jean doesn't go with a diaper!

Sandy was awful. 8 days of no power while pregnant with DS was not good.

My children are built like whippets so I quite enjoy being able to buy clothes in their "proper" sizes here! To compare, when I buy stuff from Mothercare back in the UK DD (2) is in 12-18 months and DS (4) is in 2-3 yrs.

I've just done a big order from the Osh Kosh website because I love their fleece-lined jeans.

Old navy is normally great but when I stopped in they didn't have none jeans pants. Due to his lovely soft skin DS wears tights under so he doesn't get rubbed raw by the material. Flease lined pants that are jeans or whatever are normally what I get but they didn't have them in the toddler sizes this year! So bloody annoying.

Hi Alpaca - DS has those lovely chubby toddler legs with folds of fat that you want to munch on (at least I do!). When he wears jeans in the winter months they rub against the backs of his knees and his shins. I tried using vinegar to soften the material but it didn't help. Thats why I put the tights on but its a PITA to change him!

Wow! Winter has arrived, in typical Oklahoma style. Yesterday it was 24 degrees, today it's 3. What the hell??

Two questions please. First, what's the benefit to the DCs being registered with pediatrician as opposed to just seeing a GP at the family medicine clinic? Second, can you get squash / cordial / diluting juice here? If so, what's it called and where can I find it in the grocery store? I've never seen it before, but then again I've never looked....

Mine have always seen a hospital-associated pediatrician as DD1 (and DD3 also as it turned out) had asthma and I wanted them to be able to get admitted without any fuss if necessary. The hospital my pediatrician is associated with is a university/teaching hospital, so that was another attraction of that particular office - we have been seen by a lot of very bright residents.
Other personal reasons to choose that particular office were - it is a huge practice and you will always get to see a doctor if you need an emergency visit, plus the nursing staff they have are terrific and field calls exceptionally well. This means if you go for an emergency visit you won't find the waiting room heaving with patients who should have been told over the phone to take tylenol and keep up their fluids. Some of the nurses have been there since DD1 was a baby 24 years ago.

Also, there were no family practitioner offices in my local area with more than a sole practitioner, which meant long waits for appointments and possibly no colleague with whom to bounce ideas off. Plus I had experience of one really bad family practitioner who delayed a diagnosis of gallstones by several painful weeks because he was convinced I was an alcoholic due to my ethnicity and deep in denial despite what he thought was cirrhosis and an ulcer (pain in upper abdomen esp after meals and liver function tests that are off are also symptoms of gallstones but my passport sealed it for him) .

I would say if you're looking for a doctor's office of some sort, get one with admitting privileges to a hospital, and also get one with a great nursing staff. Ask about nursing staff turnover and if they will ask you to bring your child in every time you call. This can be very expensive and time consuming, and you will also pick up everything going from the germy furniture and end up sicker than you should.

The bottom is about to fall out of our weather here overnight too. I have found and washed all the down coats and DD4's fleecy pants to wear under her school uniform. Hoping it will be a bit milder for the weekend before Thanksgiving as DD4's class is holding a big bake sale.

I have not seen squash anywhere except in supermarkets that are top of the line or ethnic. You would be better off avoiding it anyway, or buying something like V8 juice blends and then watering them down a bit.

For juice we buy orange juice and water it down.

Totally agree with math on pediatricians. We are switching and I'm not sold on the new place. We have fantastic 24hr coverage with out old practice and the doctors have been fab with emergencies such as DD having a horrible tummy bug on a weekend in Denmark when everything was shut. The doctor emailed me the recipe for making up rehydration drink. When I called the hospital in Denmark they said I had to bring her in.

Also, try to find an office that has a split wait room. Old group was split between we'll and sick with no cross over. It worked well IMO.

Math- thanks for the tip on dunnes. Got a big shop in that should be here next week in time for the cold weather.

Wow! Thanks for all the info and advice on pediatricians. It boggles my mind how much more complicated healthcare is here, but I need to get with the program because DS needs extra vaccinations to catch up with the U.S. schedule before he can enroll at preschool.

I want some squash for myself! The children drink watered down juice but I quite fancied some hot Ribena (or equivalent) in this cold weather. Maybe hot watery cranberry juice would taste okay.

It is so cold here - minus 1 at the moment. I can't believe we were walking about without coats on Monday! I'd forgotten how cold this house gets too. Our fault for choosing historic charm over a will-insulated new build I guess. And the hot air heating barely touches it! I miss a good hot radiator.

Hi everyone. I just moved over to USA. I'm in MO. The kids have just started school and i'm stuck at home. I've looked on Meet up for mom groups but they are for pre-school. How are you supposed to meet people?? other mums? I know its the same in England, its fine with babies and toddlers there are loads of things to go to but after that, you kind of just get forgotten about. I could whinge on about all the things I hate so far but i won't. MUST stay positive!!!

Hi Insidious. Whinge away! This thread is as good a place as any if you need a bit of a moan.

I've not exactly excelled at making friends since we've moved here 20 months ago so I can't really advise. Book club maybe? Extra-curricular sports activities for your DCs or even joining the PTA? I've found the accent to be a good ice breaker; OK is not very cosmopolitan so most people are fascinated by the way we speak.

Are you over here for good or is it temporary?

Insidious, get your DCs into skating classes after school at your local rink and see if you can chat with other mothers or fathers sitting on the sidelines. I always found that skating classes are too short for anyone to drop and run, so parents were stuck there for the duration, plus small children always need help getting skates on and off. Mind you, mine were small in the days before everyone always had their heads stuck in their phones...

Or some sort of soccer for small children -- look up the AYSO local website for leagues and coaching. Soccer seems to attract very devoted parents who stand around in all weather sipping from insulated mugs, so you may find someone to connect with, at least in the afternoons and at weekends.

Or if you're able to get out of the house to volunteer during school hours that might be a way to meet people. Could you volunteer at the school?

I lived in KC MO for a while and I have to say I was glad to leave it, so commiserations.

Thanks MrsFrumble! There are too many things driving me slightly mad already - like it took 3.5 minutes for the man to flash I could cross over the flippin road. It felt like an eternity standing like a complete knob in the middle of 6 lanes of traffic. I just can't bear the thought of driving everywhere its too depressing but I know i'll end up capitulating - I can see that pedestrians are not catered for over here. And the people who say 'Welcome!!!!!!' in a really chirpy upbeat voice which at first I thought was really nice and well, welcoming at the kids school, but when the woman in Walgreens says it when I only want to buy a tube of toothpaste it starts to feel a bit fake. And the fact that there are NO corner shops so when I run out of milk or bread i've got to drive to the effin supermarket!!!

I'm here for 3 years, that was my caveat, I can't do it forever. I'm sure I'll get used to it, its still very early days. I think coming now with the onset of winter will be a bit tough. I'll have to join a gym or something as the neighbours said in Jan and Feb its way too cold to run outside.

Mathanxiety - I'm in STL, it seems fairly cosmopolitan, lots of cultural stuff as well as sport but anywhere is shit when you don't know anyone isn't it? I'm going to do what you suggest, we have an ice rink that opens in a few weeks so i'll get the kids signed up for that. And the school has already asked if I'd like to volunteer. I don't know, it just takes so much effort and I feel devoid of any get up and go. Sigh........