Live in France? Join us for a gentil thread

[TheAccidentalExhibitionist]

So how about a lovely supportive, information sharing thread for us mumsnetters living in France?
I've been here for two years, this is my second time living here so 4 years in total.
I have my moans about France, the paperwork, the driving but other than that I love it

Alpha we are between Toulouse and Carcassonne, a rural area which has a lot of charms of Province but without the price tag. I think you could get what you are looking for within your price range here, although you would need to put in the tennis court yourself. You'll find that the more you head towards the sea, the climate becomes dryer, the land more arid, there are more tourists but also more excitement in terms of bars and lively towns. Towards our way things are very quiet. There are more things to do than in the isolated English countryside but nonetheless it's a lifestyle that does not suit everyone.

I echo other posters: Bordeaux is a great city and the area around it has lots of great places to buy a holiday home. The TGV to Bordeaux from Paris will be functioning quite soon (2017 IIRC).

The Atlantic Coast of France

The Atlantic Coast of France has a lot going for it IMO.

We once went to stay with some good friends who lived in the loveliest house in the Charente (nr Aubeterre-sur-Dronne). They didn't like it there, and after about 18 months they returned home to England. Friend says she was seduced by the house (it was a truly beautiful house) and they lost a lot of money on it as sold up in a hurry and returned at not a good time. This is putting me off the Charente, entirely unfairly.

Thank you all for being so very helpful.

I also swoon at some of the houses for sale in the Charente. However, there is often nothing to do in rural France except hang out with your friends from Paris who also have second homes in the vicinity.

That is so true Bonsoir.

I agree with whoever said that 500k won't get too much in SE (near Aix). We took 18 months to find our house and searched across most of SE/SW France (although I don't know the SW coast). We are outside Toulouse (in the countryside) and you can definitely get more for your money here. Admittedly we bought an old house that needs a lot of work, but the opportunity for modern homes are readily available too. There are lovely towns/cities in the region - Castres, Albi, Gaillac, Revel to name a few of the larger and more well-known places.

Castlesintheair - Hello! Are you staying in France at the end of the year or returning to the UK as initially planned? We are 6 months in and my kids are beginning to feel more settled - although very little evidence of any French being learnt! Or maybe they just chat behind my back!

morethanclueless, we are probably staying now but moving within France. So glad your DC are settling. The first year is very hard imo and it can take 6 months to a year before they start to speak and then they're never going to speak to you in french anyway - kids are uncomplicated creatures: you speak English so why speak French?!!

Yes, Castles, I agree! In some respects I don't blame them - if someone who speaks better English than I speak French wants to use English when we chat, well I'm very happy to follow their lead! Lazy, moi?

I do think that because I can speak French, when I'm around my kids tend not to bother to listen. I'm sure they understand what's being said but they would rather look to me as their interpretor. In a year or so I suspect it will be the other way round!

Do you think you'll keep your kids in the French school system? We are here for 2 years and so we will be heading back to the UK. I am fearful that jumping back into the UK system may be tricky.

I must confess the people I know who are currently living in France aren't exactly selling it to me. One friend (who is Spanish but married to a Brit) who lives near Carcasonne, said it would be so much better if the people weren't so French.

There are great places to live in France where there are international communities. But trying to be a French person is only for the very dedicated.

Hi ABHF, I would 2nd (3rd?) SW/les Landes - where I am (Mont de Marsan) there are some bargains to be had & certainly under £500k, but it is about 1.5hrs from airports & 1hr from beach. I would start at the coast (Lacanau/Arcachon/Mimizan/Hossegor etc) & work inland until you can afford something! Pau is lovely if you haven't been, & flights to Paris if you don't mind a stop too. Around us the market is pretty slow moving (2 houses in our road on market for more than a yr) & so open to offers you would hope..cash in while the £/€ is good too! Afraid after 18m we are guilty of a regular bit of French-bashing (though we obviously agree it doesn't apply specifically to any of the lovely people we know.. Bonne chance!

Bonsoir

Schnapps Thank you very much. I'll look at those places you mention.

morethanclueless, yes if we stay we will stay in french system but probably go bilingual. There are no international schools near us. We have to decide now as my son is 13 and in 5eme (year 8 equivalent) so we have to stay in France long term or go back to english curriculum. A difficult decision when DH will be staying in France.

Alpha, I think there are big differences between rural and urban France which is why we are heading to a city Of course it's very different when you are just holidaying.

Where we live there are a lot of things to do but they are distinctively rural things to do. For example, Saturday morning is marche time, DH settles himself and the DCs at a coffee shop and waits for all our friends and neighbours to walk by before gathering every food delicacy you can imagine and heading back home. We are big vide grenier addicts and can't resist a chabby chic antique bargain. Our village only has 270 people but nonetheless we have a four day long fete, with a picnic with bouncy castle for the kids, evening meal with live band, etc. There are a lot of restaurants around but bars are a bit drab.

Being French is really tough. I understand most aspects of French society around me because of my Greek heritage than my British past. Volunteering and the importance of individual liberties, hallmarks of the Anglo-Saxon approach, are replaced in France by the expectation that the state will provide and by everyone's aspiration to contribute to the common good (generally understood as becoming a public servant). Families are extremely important and friends are made only through introduction by other friends.

Alpha - don't worry too much about what may be your friend's experience of the French. Although I agree with Bonsoir (too true!) and what others have said, I have also found people where I am to be very welcoming and friendly if you make the effort (it really helps if you speak some French and are thick skinned enough to chat without feeling too shamefaced that every phrase is riddled with errors). There are of course moments when I find their way of doing things a bit at odds with how I would operate (they tend to lax about RSVP'ing to kids' parties, for example!) and I agree that it takes a while - a long while - to get to know people. In many ways people are more reserved and far more conservative than us. I am very ordinary but over here I think we are seen as a slightly eccentric family (a bit of a British cliche). But seeing as you are looking for a lovely holiday home, I am sure the day-to-day of actually living in France may not actually both you too greatly.

Castles - yes, that is a really tough decision. If we were to stay, I must admit I would opt at some stage for an international school route (in part this is because my DH and I do not speak French fluently and I think we would find it harder and harder to support the kids as they navigate their way through the system and school becomes all the more demanding. I would obviously want to keep their English going too), Like you, I would definitely be seeking a City life, which I do miss! I think it would be Paris or Toulouse for me. Good luck with your plans. I hope the right solution presents itself in time.

morethanclueless - Thanks for that. I agree.

Alpha, I live in Brittany and know lots of French people through my work and my running club. There are les bons et les cons just like with all nationalities. It helps if you speak French to integrate. Things are done differently (like not replying to invitations to kids parties, the importance of apéros and the moaning about everything) but there aren't earth shattering differences if you live here and make an effort. I'm still a Brit, but all my friends here are French. I don't have much in common with most ex pats in the area most of whom don't work and don't have young children.

I love reading this thread.

Not living in France but quite fancy it sometime in the future.

Red wine suggestions please - a very important topic I'm sure you'll agree! We're looking for our wedding wine (no pressure), around the 10-11€/bottle mark. Having started the Great Wedding Wine Odyssey 2015 last weekend, we've agreed that Madiran in our corner is a bit too tannin-y for most Brit's tastes, being used to more fruity numbers from the new world. The obvious next road trip is up to Bordeaux but was wondering if anyone had any chateau suggestions..? Our usual approach in Carrefour is to bung it in the trolley as long as it's less than 4€ Merci d'avance!

Hi all, new here and looking to move back to France this summer - lived there before for 7 years so have a reasonable idea about what to expect! Just been house hunting in the Charente (no luck yet) but did hear that, because Charente wines are not AOC, a lot of the wine makers train in the New World and are able to be a lot more experimental about the techniques they use - might be worth a tasting session Schnapps00? And while you're there can't recommend the lunchtime menu at the Restaurant du Chateau in Jarnac highly enough - the 3 course for 21 euros are, for the standard of cooking, a complete bargain!

We focused our search on Jarnac but decided the area wasn't for us - anyone here live in Charente/Charente-Maritime/North Dordogne and have any recommendations for nice areas? My DS is 8, nearly 9 so good schools (maybe an ecole prive) are a big driver for where we settle. Any help/advice much appreciated - have been looking at private sales as the whole immo thing got to be quite depressing!

Hi Suze, thanks for the tip - we actually cracked last weekend and just bought out the supermarket foire aux vins (shh, don't tell the guests..) so hopefully we're sorted with a half-decent Bordeaux now :) Good luck with the house hunt, have you tried leboncoin for private sales? Also think Leggett immo are quite active in that area if not seen also. We know a couple who live in Rochefort if it would be any use for them to keep their ear to the ground? I'm sure there's lots of Brits in Dordogneshire who could help out on the grapevine too..

Hi I'm a newbie poster but been lurking for a while.

I moved to France about a year ago to be with French dh. I could cry every day at the thought of sacrificing career and family. I just haven't settled into the life in Paris and money is tight. I do have a job but it doesnt pay well and I feel undervalued. I was a high flyer with a lot to offer.

I've lost my ambition a bit and in all honesty I think I'm clinically depressed. Dh is supportive but his family isn't and I wish we'd done the opposite and moved to the UK to be near my family.

I think I just needed a bit of a moan. When I moved here I imagined visiting the UK a lot more often but i've found it expensive and inconvenient with my job and dh's business.

Hello findingmyfeet,
So sorry it is not working out at the moment.
One solution would be for you to work in the UK earning great money and fly to Paris every weekend.
Plenty of family's have to do this.