Live in France? Join us for a gentil thread

[TheAccidentalExhibitionist]

So how about a lovely supportive, information sharing thread for us mumsnetters living in France?
I've been here for two years, this is my second time living here so 4 years in total.
I have my moans about France, the paperwork, the driving but other than that I love it

[findingmyfeet12]

So far I've only had a need for fertility treatment since I've been here. I've Been able to get appointments with minimal delay and have no complaints with either the facilities or treatment I've had.

[Bonsoir]

A lot of my Paris friends have had fertility treatment and, anecdotally, it appears straightforward to access. Becoming a mother (several times!) is still seen as central to a woman's identity and self-development in France.

[GreatAuntDinah]

Becoming a mother (several times!) is still seen as central to a woman's identity and self-development in France

Sorry to be so argumentative, but again, I see no evidence for this in my daily dealings with my French friends and colleagues. It might be the case in some social groups but I don't think it can be valid for all.

[Gfplux]

Every country is different. If in one country there is enlightened opinion about a particular subject then in another you will find the opposite. That is why when we move from our birth country we find wonderful positive things in our adopted new home. For every plus there is a minus.
No one country is perfect. What we have to find is that balance that suites us and our family.
The country will not change, only we can either adapt or leave.
That is how life works, it may not be fair but that is how it is.

[Bonsoir]

It is nevertheless fully endorsed by taxation and family policy, GreatAuntDinah, and has been for absolutely ages with no signs at all of change.

[findingmyfeet12]

Interesting points of view

Gfplux - I would hazard a guess that most of us are aware of that. For my part, I was just having a moan with fellow expats. Of course there are pros and cons. Not every country will suit every person though so there's an element of trial and error involved too.

It can feel a bit like there's a need to add a caveat to each comment that the poster is not an unreasonable person trying to tar absolutely everyone with the same brush

[GreatAuntDinah]

Sorry you feel that way finding. It's just that I live and work quite a way off the expat grid among French people who most certainly don't fit the stripy-shirt-and-onions stereotype (80% of them are Muslims, for a start) and I find it kind of frustrating that theirs doesn't seem to be seen as an equally valid type of "French"ness.

[Schnapps00]

Greatauntdinah I don't think anyone is suggesting that your colleagues aren't authentic French people! As said, we're all tempted by an occasional let off of steam about some of the frustrations we encounter in everyday life..after all some people in the UK make a habit of it daily, it just wouldn't go down too well as an immigrant :) Out of interest, what aspects of your colleagues 'Frenchness' do you think aren't accepted?

[Booboostoo]

GreatAunt but it is the French themselves who are most reluctant to accept different types of Frenchness, not the way foreigners perceive them. France does not have the acceptance of multiculturalism, or at least the effort to accept multiculturalism, you find in other countries. In France the most important thing is to assimilate, to be first and foremost French, rather than an immigrant or someone defined by another culture or by a religion. The fact that the French refuse to acknowledge any aspect of immigrant culture in France is a big complaint amongst the, large, immigrant populations.

[goodnessgraciousgouda]

Hello all,

Apologies for stormong your thread, but I was wondering if anyone here had any experience of "ayant droit" status?

Basically I am recently married to my french husband (wedding was in UK), and have just found out that I am pregnant (tentatively - it's very very early days).

Before our honeymoon we did some calling about, and were told that we needed to register our marriage in france before we could proceed adding me as ayant droit. I thought this was a bit weird considering marriages are recognised between EU countries.

I am not covered by the NHS (My coverage expired about six months ago). I am on a sabbatical from work in the UK and do not work in france, so ayant droit status is the only way forwards for us.

I've been trawling online, but I haven't been able to find anything that helps very much. I am particularly worried that considering the speed of the french system, I could well be fucking retired by the time this gets sorted.

This is my first ever pregnancy, so obviously I am at a bit of a loss.

[EmilyAlice]

We have been ayant droit at of each other various times and only needed to show our marriage certificate (and have it photocopied innumerable times). We never needed an official translation either.
We have been married 46 years, but I don't think that made a difference!

[EmilyAlice]

Sorry garbled sentence "of each other at various times". Once was with the regime general / CPAM and once with RSI.

[goodnessgraciousgouda]

Emily - Thank you! Can I ask how long it took each time?

Are you both brits, or is one of you french? I think because DH is french, the administration get pissy if the marriage isn't registered? I'm not sure!

My DH has said a few times that I need an "attestation de radiation" (or something) which is basically a form saying the NHS no longer cover me. I have looked online but found absolutely NOTHING even resembling this. I never had cover on S1 forms - do you have any idea what this could be???

[EmilyAlice]

We are both Brits. I think that bit of the process was quite quick. Other bits were slow, especially with RSI. As I remember it with CPAM DH had to fill in a form swearing he had no other cover. With RSI I had to write a letter asking to be my husband's chattel have ayant droit status.
I don't know, but does the radiation bit mean you have to ask the DWP to say you have no rights to UK cover via an S1? I would ring Newcastle, they are pretty helpful.

[riverboat1]

I know nothing about ayant droit, sorry.

I recently got back from a week long trip back home to England, where I rented a car. Today, back in my town in France, I was driving around trying to find the dentists where I had made an appointment...and turned into the wrong, ie left hand, lane of a divided road! I actually turned into the left hand lanes instead of the right...I still can't believe I did it, thank god there were no cars oncoming except one stopped at a light a little way down (though probably if there had have been I'd have realised I wasn't meant to be turning down there) and I was able to reverse backwards and get onto the right side of the road. It really gave me a fright though - this was a road I drive on every day...what was I thinking?

Anyway, just had to get that off my chest...the perils of switching from left hand to right hand driving I suppose, though I've been doing that for years and NEVER made such a stupid mistake as this before.

[Schnapps00]

Hi goodnessgracious, I would second calling the Newcastle overseas healthcare team on +44191 218 1999 to confirm you no longer have cover. I'm slightly different in that we both had S1 forms, but since the CPAM managed to lose mine, I now am ayant droit on DH's instead, after trying the French way with some hand-waving and loud declarations of how they'd lost my form (it was fun). No need to show (UK) marriage certificate either, despite not having changed my name yet. Maybe try //www.ameli.fr for more info?

On a separate note, I watched a good programme the other day on racial/religious divisions in France with reference to Charlie Hebdo, worth a watch (if you're naughty & use a VPN like us..): www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b05psc6r

Oh & riverboat, I wouldn't worry, just back from a trip to the UK where DH ending up driving on the right for a wee while until we both realised what was wrong with the picture

[castlesintheair]

I'm back in London at the moment and keep having to remind myself to drive on the left. I really have to think about it. Quite worrying!

[isitjustme75]

Hello All,

Longtime lurker, eastern suburbs, been here 11 years, French DH, no DCs yet, about to embark on fertility treatment eeek!

[GreatAuntDinah]

good luck isit!

[Drinksforeveryone]

Can I revive this thread?

I don't even live in France (yet) but am hoping to purchase a property and live there 50% of the time soon.

[BoboChic]

Bonjour!

[Ancienchateau]

Hello Drinksforeveryone. Very quiet in France right now - everyone is on holiday! Where are you buying a house?

[Drinksforeveryone]

Bonjour Bobo

Ancien - not sure yet. :) Have visited Charente region a few times -and like it there. Will be over in a few weeks for a stay in the Vendee to explore there too.

Things may depend on how the potential Brexit pans out though now.. ?

[velourvoyageur]

Salut mes chéries! Thought I'd hunt up this thread to shamelessly plug myself as a babysitter - have just moved to Paris. I speak four languages inc. French and English, I do really love children and have relevant experience. Also interesting in tutoring type jobs, and I suspect I am based in the same area as some French MNers will be - expat land! PM me if you're at all interested :)

Interesting to hear French people talking about Brexit - today we had everything from 'we need the Anglo Saxons to save Europe from weak French-style administration' (!) to 'it'll start a ripple effect'....and we all admit that we just don't know enough about it.

[LoucheLady]

Hey Velour, you should join the FB group for English-speaking mums in Paris. That'd be a good place to look for work :-)