WHERE'S BEST TO LIVE IN NZ ETC PART 7 !!

[frikonastick]

Come oooonnnnnn MNHQ, where's our medal

Ha justa, yes we're taking over!
That's the idea, she'll probably rent it out inbetween visits.

It will be lovely but strange.
I knw se wouldn't e ere if she could choose? But feels she must be here, because sh misses the children so much.
So I've forced her hand.

So I think that will always be there.
I'm pretty sure she wouldn't ave even ever holidayed in nz if not for us.

She loved Sydney, much more her!

Anyway, that how it is.

But I'm sure it won't be long before im reminded about all of the above!
And I wonder how dh will cope with his mil on the same island for monts!!
Hmmm

Vvv..I hope your all better soon

I hadn't even thought of Bramptins, WSS, thanks! Shall investigate tomorrow.

I know the current thinking is that antibiotics don't do much for ear infections, but once again I've seen how that doesn't seem to apply for C. Only 2 doses in and she's obviously improving (slowly!). I'm really hoping we don't get a re-run of last winters endless ear infections. Although at least they are slightly easier to spot, now that she sits up, screams and points to her ear shouting "ow, there"

AB - if your DH needs comforting on the MIL-proximity issue, you can share with him DH's predicament. All going to plan and when we win the lottery we will be living next door to my parents when we move back to Ireland. Permanently

Not sure if it will help but we were told by a GP when ds2 kept getting recurrent ear infections to use saline nasal spray - it apparently keeps the nasal/ear passage clear and helps stop infections. He also showed 'us' how to blow his nose - hold one nostril closed and blow in short bursts through the other again to clear the passages. Hey whether it's a fluke or 'placebo effect' but I think it works = might be worth a try. DS2 is of course older and not sure about getting spray up the nose of those younger???

www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/travelnews/4344890/Virgin-the-worlds-best-passenger-complaint-letter.html

doing the rounds on facebook so you might have seen it but hilarious. Having said that he needs to try cattle class

I am just loving this site:

www.reddit.com/r/britishproblems/comments/x5rka/im_a_brit_staying_with_a_family_in_new_zealand_my/

especially: This is terrible, but I'm afraid there is no obvious solution.

You must offhandedly announce "I'm just going outside, and I may be some time", then nobly go and quietly die of hunger in a ditch.

As you can tell I am mad busy with work but my head is in Vanuatu - only 2 sleeps to go Only hoping they let us on the plane - maybe they will have a quarantine section at the back for the sick families.

If you liked those try these:

www.buzzfeed.com/lukelewis/very-british-problems

I loved Vanuatu Sibble. The people are so lovely.

Did you fb it justa?
It doesn't convert to a link on my iPad! I'd have I set up the pc

What is a spiritual director? (And where can I get one) buzz feed is addictive

Hi girls! Your links on FB made me giggle - I was reminded of my mum, who is totally the type to desperately hang back on a crowded street to avoid having to - heavens above - strike up a conversation with an acquaintance, or indeed friend!!

AB - that's amazing news about your mum's thinking re Waiheke - it's what my parents would consider doing, I think, if we went to NZ or Oz - come out for several months a year, while they are still active and healthy. I refuse to think about the longer-term - we have some heart-rending cases in our Hospice where faraway relatives have to make impossible choices about when to come back, for how long, etc - so, so difficult.

justa - great news re your spiritual director - I'm with frik - I totally want one too I remember you talking about your UK one in the past and it must be so good to have found the right person. I once called up our local vicar (whom I had seen at the kids' school, guitar in hand, haha) and told him I had many questions of a spiritual nature and could we meet - he was a bit taken aback, but gamely 'took me on'. We had a couple of walks-and-talks and he lent me some books. At no point did he offer to become my life-time SD though Interestingly, as far as I could see he was a Buddhist (like most of, but not all of me ) in disguise, you would like him, justa.

Hmm - I seem to have digressed

Have an amazing time in Vanuatu sibble

penguin I loved your description of 10pm being the penguin midnight hope the job's going well.

Byeee!

PS
Did my first GP shift in over 18 months on Monday. 'Twas enormously stressful. I had forgotten how goddamn terrifying it all is. The potential Missing Of Important and Possible Life-Threatening Nasties, I mean. Anyway, on the topic of ABs for ear infections - I know!!!! All the guidelines bang on about how they don't work, they only shorten the episode by about 4 minutes, etc etc. Hundreds of studies have shown this, apparently. Meanwhile, back in real life...

Oh well done you meerkate, going back to work after being away for ages is HARD. When i started back to work when DD was three, for the first week I was in a permanent state of panic. But that panic where you look all normal on the outside and it's screaming burning inferno of hell inside. Good times! It did only take a little while to wear off though.

Speaking of working, I have been approached by a company asking if I am interested in a job. First off that's a big deal because I had been pretty sure there was no way I would get a job here directly in my field, so, wow. Secondly, it's an industry referral, they didn't have any job openings as such but are very keen on my specific skill set. BUT DH and I had agreed that I wouldn't work for a year while we settled in. (Well actually the deal had been that whoever got work first, the other parent wouldn't work for a year, DH just got employed first). And now I'm scared that if I don't jump on it the offer won't be there in a year, even though they have intimated that whenever I am ready, to just let them know.

Actually, that's a big fat lie. The real truth is that I am just so shit at being a stay at home parent and I haven't made any friends and I am so fucking lonely that work seems like this bright shining life line thrown from the roiling clouds of self doubt and loathing.

Argh.

frik Do whatever is going to make you happy. When we moved here we moved so I didn't have to work. I did playcentre, playgroup, mainly music etc etc.... slowly went mad. I wasn't cut out to be a full time SAHM. I was approached about a job - took it, albeit part time (they wanted F/T I negotiated) and havn't looked back. We have to be happy for the family to be happy, if that's staying at home - great, if that's working in some capacity - that's great too.

It sounds like the Universe has sent you something???

Oooh no frik - I have never been out of work for 18 months! I was just concentrating on hospice work and taking time out of GP for a while. I'm going to combine the two now, principally to keep my longer-term options open, especially if we move abroad, but am still going to mainly be doing hospice work - which I vastly prefer.

I wouldn't hesitate to take this job, frik - there is no reason to stick to the original 'one of us MUST have a year off work' resolution if it no longer seems necessary or helpful, surely? I feel that work offers a way in, in a new place I mean - a parallel way into friendships and a social setting to that offered by one's kids' school or kindy. I have had that awful feeling of isolation and homesickness and loneliness, I know it well. I think work can be an important part of the solution, myself. Especially if it's part-time and still allows important dollops of family time (and me-time )

justa - are you serious? I assumed you had to be in the ministry to truly have a SD!

PS frik - SAHM-ing: nobody could be more shit at it than me we shall compare notes one day on that beautiful sunset-viewing platform of a deck of yours one of these days

Frik - our plan when we got here was that I'd SAH with the 2 DDs until DD1 started school (January to August), and then with just DD2 until I could start Uni in February of this year.

DD1 was enrolled in kindy within a week of us moving into our house . And by March I was having conversations with the Uni on whether I could 1 course starting in July. I ended up doing 2, and DD2 went into crèche 6 months earlier than planned.

As a result I am (mostly) sane, get to have adult conversation during the week and haven't collapsed in a jabbering heap mumbling about playdoh. I even bake with my children on occasion

Best laid plans and all that...

Meerkate - I think you must have gone to the same GP training session as my doc here As she wrote out the prescription she muttered something about guidelines and how it had worked so well for DD last time that there was no harm trying again

vvviola hahaha - yes, we were sitting next to each other, eyes rolling heavenwards on a regular basis throughout the lectures!
justa that's really interesting. I will think about it. Thank you
Beautiful morning here and set to be scorching (erm - by British standards! 26,27 C) all weekend, hurray!
A job has come up in Perth...would have to get used to 38, 39 all over again, not to mention 44 C...bloody hot place. I did love the winter, spring and autumn there though I wish I didn't have the standard burn-prone Anglo-Saxon skin, I really do - already use factor 50 for the UK's weedy sunshine, there's nowhere for me to go, on that front!!
Back soon - must get to work!

Frik, what does your OH think about the job? There is no point passing it up if you all feel it could be a good move.

I've spent 4 years doing some contract work but mainly convinced I would never properly work again due to lack of jobs in my area and an ill timed move and maternity leave. I'm 4 weeks in and the world feels an entirely different place. Although I did have a slight wobble yesterday.

Also, the NZ job market is small. Auckland is smaller. Tauranga must be even smaller. If this job is of interest it would be worth considering as another may not come up for some time. I have been very lucky in negotiating a 4 day week. Perhaps you could request a 2/3 month lead in too? Some people here have to give that much notice. Recruitment would likely take a few weeks which would mean you probably wouldn't be far off a year anyway.

Thanks for all the positive support ladies, it's been helpful to have your perspectives. DH and I had a long chat about it last night and basically his position on it is that he doesn't think it's fair to DD to be handed off to someone else until she is settled in her school (she starts in sept) and we have some sort of normalcy established. We have moved house 7 times, country 5 times, and she will be in her 6 th school so far in her short life, and throughout all this even if DH and I were away or working or whatever there was the nanny who had been with us from before DD was born and was with us for every move etc etc. so she had that sort of stability. But here, for this move, if we are both working, DD will be with a succession of strangers (to us, as well as to her) and he feels it's just too much. Especially as I don't HAVE to work.

And as we have just come back from a parent teacher conference thinggie at kindy in prep for her start at school in a couple of months, the teacher did seem to agree with DH that keeping the status quo for a while would be helpful. Not least so that when I do go back to work, we will have an established network of friends and systems for DD and no one will be a stranger anymore.

The thing is, I also agree abut all of this. The problem, is that I am failing to make friends and create those networks. So now I feel even more fucking useless and a shit mom and I just want to hide behind my couch.

I've not said that to DH though, I mean, what's the point. I just have to do better.