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Living overseas

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Original poster

Awaiting relocation back homeLIMBO! Anyone else?

28 replies

Salbertina · 13/01/2013 14:05

V long to - do list, sun is shining yet neither working thro list nor out en famille enjoying time we have left here
Dh also super-stressed and we're taking it out on each other rather. After long sch hols finding it hard to tolerate his company! Kids getting a little forgotten in the process.
Got jobs, houses,schools, shipping, travel to sort both ends and all on tight budget (credit cards we're funding all costs ourselves )
How to stay sane, pull together and make most of time left and get thro that list?!

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mumof4sons · 13/01/2013 21:13

I am also in moving LIMBO! My house sale is now in the hand of the solicitors - have been told I should be on my way by the end of the month.

I also have the shipping of my stuff to sort as well as arranging for my dog to go with me to the States, and with no dates this is extremely hard.

My boys are staying here in the UK, so I am also having to work with my exH (with gritted teeth) to get them moved and settled with him. But he is taking his time on sorting out a place for them all to live. Two sons will eventually join me in the US in the summer.

Count yourself lucky that you have someone to share the burden with - I don't.

Original poster
Salbertina · 14/01/2013 06:28

Sympathies, Mum, sounds tough!
Yes, definitely easier to have someone to share it with, if course. High risk in our case - no jobs as yet, feels "on a wing and a prayer". A lot has to fall into place for plans to succeed.
Hope yr ex starts to be more accommodating. Where ate you going in US? Is it for your work?

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Original poster
Salbertina · 14/01/2013 06:30

And we also lack dates so shipping/pets tricky. Kennels/storage might be needed

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cq · 14/01/2013 07:54

Good luck to you both. I am just emerging at the other end of relocation limbo. We came home in the summer after 10 years of moving around the world and I think this is the hardest move of all.

6 months after arriving back in the UK with 2 kids, 2 dogs and a zillion boxes, we are still in a crappy rented house while trying to buy something, so I still feel like my life cannot move on as we are going to be moving house again in the next few months, hopefully.

But now my biggest problem is boredom! No more endless lists of things to sort, pack, ship or sell, no more school applications, entry tests or school uniform lists, no more goodbyes. Hideous though they all were, I now realise I thrived on them. Not sure I will ever really settle until I have a job or worthwhile focus to my time once more.

Not really sure what I'm trying to say here, but good luck with all your stresses - I'm sure you can't see beyond the next few weeks right now!

Original poster
Salbertina · 14/01/2013 09:03

Gosh after 10 yrs away you must almost be in culture shock! My sympathies also, can understand the boredom. Took me a good yr to re-settle in Uk last time I returned (which was yrs ago and w/o kids, so much easier) guess life there is inevitably more humdrum in a good and a bad way

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mumof4sons · 14/01/2013 09:32

I'm moving back to Alabama after being in the UK for 23 years - half my life. Moved to the UK for love way back when. Now going back to my roots - no longer feel the UK is my home.

It took me a year to make the decision to leave the UK. I finally came to the conclusion that you only live once and I have to just go for it.

For me it is a giant leap into the unknown. No job, no house, no car. However I do have a very supportive mum who I will be living with while I get my new life started.

Original poster
Salbertina · 14/01/2013 09:45

Good luck, Mum, thats quite an undertaking after so long. Can quite see the draw of your roots now though.

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SquinkiesRule · 14/01/2013 17:42

Living in Limbo here too, but not waiting for company relocation, just going on our own and waiting to sell house, cars, boat. I want to be there this spring

Original poster
Salbertina · 14/01/2013 17:50

Doing ourselves also cant help being Envy at those with relocation agents, expenses paid etc Hard work isn't it? Our deadline related to dh's project here, our tenancy etc.

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SquinkiesRule · 15/01/2013 04:33

Yes it's hard. Some days I want to just pack and bag and get on a plane to get it over, and it's so expensive, I have to get rid of so much stuff, all furniture (couches wouldn't fit the UK house anyway. Trying to talk Dh into keeping the country kitchen oak table and chairs (Oak top white legs kind) That and my pans, everything else is from the kids. Toys from Dd, and school year books and memory stuff from the boys. Shipping costs when you live no where near a port can escalate, all those extra miles Arrghh!

Original poster
Salbertina · 15/01/2013 06:01

Is it not worth shipping more stuff? We're looking at part-container shipment or sending parcels by Seamail, trying to get handle on v complex pricing coupled w huge risk of stuff being stolen (S African customs etc) So we might end up sending little after all. Also got sales to complete. Hows if going with you? Are you heading back to UK?

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Original poster
Salbertina · 15/01/2013 06:03

Sorry remember you said you were UK-bound now. Glad to be headed back? Im in two minds about it, though overall right decision i think.

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SquinkiesRule · 15/01/2013 21:18

So glad to be heading back, after all these years it's still not home, but I love my house and my friends and will miss a few other things I'm sure. I miss my boys (they are living and working in UK) and need to go and look after my Mum as she's in her 70's now and a widow. All the rest of the family has died before her.
We tried to go back one time before, lasted a year Dh got the hump and didn't even want to be there anyway so we packed it all up and moved back to US. Not this time, I'm confiscating his passport and making him get a job ASAP so he stays busy Wink

Original poster
Salbertina · 16/01/2013 05:43

Sounds complicated! Is dh American then? Dual-nationality families must be tricky sometimes! And you never really settled then? Wonder what makes the difference...I've rather given up here, prematurely as i know we're going but the fights gone out of me somehow, plus so much moving stuff to sort. Need to make the most of summer though, see friends etc etc (none of whom yet know)

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SquinkiesRule · 16/01/2013 16:26

We are a whole family of dualies. I've lived the longest of all of us in UK till I was 21 maybe thats the problem.
Yes the fight does leave you once you know you are moving, it's like you start to disconnect ready to go. When are you leaving if you have another summer left?
Do you have little ones to get into UK schools?
I want to be there for Dd to end the school year in UK that way September she'll know the school and some kids.

mumof4sons · 17/01/2013 19:31

Exchanged contracts on my house yesterday and completing on the 25th Jan. I should be heading Stateside in early February.

I have spent the last 2 days on the phone and the computer cancelling/paying off credit cards. And then it is the filling out of forms for the removals firm - it is so complicated - I want to scream.

And of course the weather isn't helping either. Snow! I hate snow! My DCs are supposed to move out this weekend and the snow might complicate things.
Also now panicking that the removals firm might not be able to get here and get me out by the 2pm deadline on the 25th. Argh!!

SquinkiesRule · 17/01/2013 19:45

Wahoo lucky you!

Original poster
Salbertina · 18/01/2013 08:22

Mum- excellent news, action stations now then??

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Original poster
Salbertina · 18/01/2013 08:30

Squinkies- lost post to you! Was asking about yr plan to start dc at end of yr so settled by sept? Had wondered same but dc not keen. May work out that way tho. Yes summer here Smile

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SquinkiesRule · 18/01/2013 22:07

Well my thought was if she has spent a few weeks in UK school (ours ends for summer her in mid June) then she will have a few friends and know the building and routines ready for the September start, maybe even know people enough to play at some point in summer if she's lucky. Dh and I will be on the job hunt, I'm more wobbly about that LOL

Original poster
Salbertina · 19/01/2013 06:14

Sounds sensible. Any feedback from council or schools yet?
Ikwym re wobbles and job-hunt! Nerve-wracking and unclear of my place now in market.. Plus dc will be in different schs in diff places so commute increased - will be able to work 10-3 3 days a week only at this rate! And
London and its jobs no longer reachable within those hrs unless dh about sometimes which seems unlikely . Or get au pair. Oh, who knows, all to sort!

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SquinkiesRule · 20/01/2013 02:56

The school where will be isn't oversubscribed so she should be able to slot in, they are very small and had to combine some years to make up a whole class. Friends there have told me they will be grateful to get another girl, they are short on them apparently.

Original poster
Salbertina · 20/01/2013 08:03

Oh thats good. Oversubscribed in our area, sadly.

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mumof4sons · 29/01/2013 10:41

Moved out of house on 25th Jan. Heading Stateside on 4th Feb. So excited and scared at the same time.

Move went smoothly. Had Pickfords do it and couldn't fault them. My biggest worry now is getting dog to US safely.

Good luck with your moves.

SquinkiesRule · 29/01/2013 21:03

Good luck Mumof4sons. Have you booked the dog onto a flight, or are you taking the scenic route on the Queen Mary 2 they have kennels on board.

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