Are we mad, regarding a move to france

[floodybuck]

I don?t know if we have totally lost the plot. My OH is having to work from home due to a new company taking over. He is on a very good wage. He has suggested a move to France. I can give up the job I hate, and he will work from home in France. We have no children yet and only 2 dogs and a cat. neither of us speak French to any use, but are very willing to learn. Are we totally mad to be planning a move? We will rent out our property over here. OH will need to come back to uk now and again to see customers. I am very excited, and cant wait.

are there any things we should be aware of? etc

When I was a child I dreamed of living in a narrow boat but you've put me right off it! Are there lots of potential renters out there willing to face the inconveniences?

Regarding things to be aware of: don't be too dependent on the airlines, some people I know have had to move because low cost airlines closed routes they relied on to go to and from the UK for work

Yes definately don't rely on the low cost airlines. They change their routes on a whim, and shut the routes in winter.

There has been some good advice on here, take heed. I think renting would be very wise. If you decide to buy remember that anything that has been on the market for 2 yrs+ (not unusual) has a reason why it hasn't sold, and that reason will be the same if you decide to sell.

Would you need a mortgage? With a UK income it is not always easy to get a mortgage on a french property. And once you have a property releasing equity is very difficult indeed.

Remember noone is trying to quash your dreams, just take of the rose coloured specs.

Why did you ask 'Are we mad?' if you don't want to hear it?

Can't believe how rude some posters are - alpinepony and landahoy in particular. It's like they are offended by any sense of adventure.

Lots of people (brits esp) live and work in france - it's not Mars!

And having dc is a fab way of making friends, french and english.

Not mad at all. Go for it.

sparky you might see it as offensive, I call it realistic.

I'm 38 and I've lived and worked overseas in non-English speaking countries since I was 20... including 4 years in an isolated farmhouse in a rural French community with my horses. So, I've got a little experience on the matter in question and have had an adventure or two.

But you don't think that anyone else should do it? No one else should have the experience/adventure?

Would you do it all again? I bet you wouldn't change a thing!

And to say 'Ah fuck it, do it. I could use the laugh' - is not rude?

Agree with Portofino as usual.

floodybuck why don't you consider Belgium instead? You can immerse yourselves in the french speaking culture, and if that fails, fall back on a strong english speaking community with many international businesses.

And having dc is a fab way of making friends, french and english.

yeah- if you can speak french.........which the OP can't, and if there are any kids of the same age around, which there may not be because as someone pointed out, the younger people have all gone to the city because they CBA with isolated rural living. Splendid isolation is great, until you have to share it with a toddler 24/7 with no-one to talk to but your other half and your chickens whilst dealing with tradesmen who dont show and an overflowing septic tank

There's adventure and then there's ball ache.

'And having dc is a fab way of making friends, french and english. '

I would disagree with that. I've seen many very lonely women stuck at home trapped by having small children, lack of childcare, lack of family and friends, lack of transport.

sparkybabe I would expect anyone planning such a monumental decision such as buying a house and having children in a country where they don't speak the language - to have at least a small grasp upon the enormity of the task at hand.

OP seems to have once had a cheese platter and so now thinks it's all "Provence".

I've seen a lot of people come and go over the years. The ones who run home with their tails between their legs are easy to spot.

If you think I'm rude, you should try communicating with a French chimney-sweep to fulfil your legal obligations.

Somewhereelse: don't be put off! Living on a narrow boat is fantastic! The summer is idillic, the people are great. My dogs and cat love it. Our first winter was hard, but we learnt. It is so cosy to be sat inside while it snows reading a book. Or to watch the ducks ice skating past the window. I was just making a point. Most of the time the boat is lovely!

floody slightly off topic, but out of interest, do you move around the country or are you on a permanent mooring?

'And having dc is a fab way of making friends, french and english. '

Not in France, well not with babies/toddlers anyway. I live in Paris. There is nothing for mothers and babies/toddlers (except expat groups). If you go to the park you can meet other little children, but more often than not they're being looked after by nannies, who usually gang together with other nannies. It's not easy to socialise.

OP - how much have you researched this? I would also recommend renting first but do be aware of the hurdles for renting. You have to have a guarantor who lives in France, if not you can get banks to do it but it'll cost ???. Then there are the millions of documents you have to provide, often officially translated into French which of course also costs ???

Where do you want to move to?

I've argued with an English plumber in the UK and he ripped me off and never came back, and I've argued with a French plumber in France who ripped me off and never came back - sometimes it's just same shit different country, but I do like my big house and lots of land in France.

With very young DC in France I found it quite isolating because there were no parent and toddler groups where I lived, I'd come from a life of Jo Jingles and Gym babies, to nothing. But you do make friends with other parents when they start school (at 2 1/2).

Incidentally I know someone who lives on a barge full time in France, I'd love their life (and their barge).

We moved to France nearly two years ago.

We have always lived in the countryside so that didn't make much difference to us, if anything the French countryside is much livelier, there are more facilities in nearby towns and more public money in rural communities than in the UK.

Life in France, at least in the south where we are, is much more Mediterranean (I am Greek and find it much closer to Greece here than the UK). That means good weather, more outdoor life, easy to make friends (in a different way though, friends are always introduced through other friends, you don't approach people directly), but also a lot of bureaucracy, everything is frustratingly slow, everything is done person-to-person and with bits of paper.

Before you consider any move it's well worth thinking about practicalities such as taxes and health care. There is a lot of info on the Dept of Work and Pensions on health care entitlements abroad depending on your particular situation but if you are not going to be working in France do not assume you will be covered by their public health care system. Taxes can also be a particular problem as both countries may want 'a piece of you'!

I echo the advice to learn French. Very few French people speak English, especially in the countryside, and not being able to communicate effectively is a huge disadvantage.

You don't have to have a guarantor everywhere in France when you rent.

We've rented two places and on both occasions just had to provide proof of income (last 3 months pay slips).

When I started my first job after graduating, they accepted the job contract + two months rent in advance.

Somewhereelse: don't be put off! Living on a narrow boat is fantastic! The summer is idillic, the people are great. My dogs and cat love it. Our first winter was hard, but we learnt. It is so cosy to be sat inside while it snows reading a book. Or to watch the ducks ice skating past the window. I was just making a point. Most of the time the boat is lovely!

Honestly - it's France! It's not saudi arabia, or outer mongolia.

Go for it floody; if you don't like it, come back, or go somewhere else! Hundreds of thousands of people around the world move about every year. Not all have happy endings, but some do. You can spend years researching and debating and 'what if'-ing. Life's too short, and otherwise you'll wake up one day, in your 80's, still in england, still only speaking english, and you will regret it.

Just do it, you've not got others depending on you.

There's no way I'm living on a narrow boat with DCs! Maybe when they've left home we'll give it a shot!

I would second renting first. My cousin "followed her dream" to live in Spain. Against her father's advice (he is shrewd businessman) to rent out there first and work, before buying a cafe, she sold her house and plunged all of the money into the business. The business folded after two years - not entirely her fault, but it was off the beaten tourist track, so didn't get as much custom as she anticipated. She sold at a huge loss, and is now stuck in Spain - she can't afford to come back to UK, as she has nowhere to come back to, lives in a shared grotty flat (at the age of 50) and lives a hand to mouth existence, working largely cash in hand in kitchens and bars as and when she can. I know you are renting your barge out anyway, but renting can also be helpful to see if you like the area. My cousin says, with hindsight, she would not have chosen the area she ended up in, had she worked in other towns first.

sparky Saudi would be a piece of piss vs. very rural France I reckon....seriously. Expat compound, instant friends, on-tap childcare, driver, international schools, english speaking administration.......sorted

I think what most people on this thread (who all live overseas btw or have done so for prolonged periods) are trying to say is that some times are better than others for making a move overseas, and when you're seriously considering starting a family, moving somewhere very isolated and where you will have no family support, possibly needs a bit of thought, because it's not as simple as "have baby. instant french mates".

In fact, I'd say having children sometimes can be more isolating in a foreign country despite the links you would have! There is a sweet Japanese woman who is a mother at the school my DD goes to who is almost desperate with loneliness. Problem is, she doesn't speak french and unless you immerse yourself in - by college, through work, it doesn't guarentee you will make french people willing to put up with you muddling through saying 'would you like to go to the park with the children after school'.

I am probably her only friend (she speaks a little english, very basic indeed) and I do find it hard to spend time with someone for too long who can pretty much only say the basics and is not progressing very fast in english, or french. She is very sweet, but if you can't get your humour and personality across, it's hard to get people to be any more interested in you than just the basics. I get very frustrated with her as she doesn't want to do classes.

With english TV, newspapers etc online, it's harder to immerse yourself than you think sometimes. I've now been here nearly a year and have only just started to banter with people in french. Thank goodness for college - I genuinely don't know what I would have done otherwise for friends. I don't have a single friend who is a 'local'. Just immigrants. OP if you and your DH are at home on your farm quite a bit, I really don't see how you'll be immersed quickly. And as said, it's hard for people to be patient enough with a learner without the learner being very pro-active, so take tons of courses if you want to do this.

Oh, and TouTou probably means lots of different things. Where I am living, the spoken French is considered barbaric to the ear of truly french people!

Speaking of rude, what is this all about Bonsoir? "I think MrsS and I are a bit more worldly and better travelled than Rhubarb..."

Bit presumptious aren't we? Do you know me personally? Have you any idea of my experiences or circumstances?

The one thing I did not like about France were most of the ex-pats who claimed bits of France for their own, never socialised with French people, insisted on buying English food and tried to have their own little piece of England in France. Would you believe there are even English owned pubs where the French are not welcome?

But the French take all this in their stride. They are a very welcoming nation for the most part (I won't say you'll never come across any predjudice) and very happy to help.

The only thing that concerns me is that you say you aren't very sociable. The French are. Most villages have street parties once a year and they know all their neighbours. The sense of community is quite strong in the rural countryside (the cities are more anonymous) and they will invite you round for tea because that's just their way. Expect around 10 courses and to eat at around 10pm.

I don't think you are taking a risk if you have a house here. We sold ours and went to France before we had jobs, a home, anything with 2 children in tow, one of them was just a baby. We lived in a caravan for 3.5 months. If you are determined enough you can make it work for you. You'll have a house back here and one in France so there's no risk in my eyes.

House prices aren't that much different to here but don't forget that you may end up paying much more in legal fees, surcharges etc. There is always something that needs paying. However the pound is quite strong against the euro at the minute. You probably would get more for your money over there (depending on where in the UK you live) but be warned that cheap houses, just like cheap houses here, will be cheap for a reason. Do your research before you buy.

It would be sensible to rent for a while first anyway rather than plunge straight into buying. Then you can get a feel for the place, meet the neighbours and figure out if it can work for you. Nothing ventured nothing gained.

Whilst you are in a position to have an adventure I say do it. Life is definitely too short and what's the point in living if you can't take a few risks?

Have a financial advisor or accountant check out your tax situation should you move. Where are you thinking of going? And what's wrong with Provence?:) or bordeaux? There are tons of expats of diff nationalities all over France. Are you up on the political situation there btw? There are going to be changes...

Oh we didn't need a guarantor to rent either and we didn't speak French when we went over there. We soon learnt though! Yes it's hard work and difficult trying to make yourself understood, but it's the best way to learn.

We met plenty of other people who had done the same thing and immersed themselves in the language. Some of them didn't have set plans either, most were just up for an adventure.

I'd do it all again in a heartbeat.