Are we mad, regarding a move to france

[floodybuck]

I don?t know if we have totally lost the plot. My OH is having to work from home due to a new company taking over. He is on a very good wage. He has suggested a move to France. I can give up the job I hate, and he will work from home in France. We have no children yet and only 2 dogs and a cat. neither of us speak French to any use, but are very willing to learn. Are we totally mad to be planning a move? We will rent out our property over here. OH will need to come back to uk now and again to see customers. I am very excited, and cant wait.

are there any things we should be aware of? etc

It depends where you are with regard to property prices I'm sure in the cities prices are through the roof but where I am you can get a hell of a lot of house and pool for 150,000 to 200,000. Go to 250,000 you'll get your own lake and it's a beautiful area people flock here on holiday every summer - but absolutely dire in winter, very grey. Also the housing market here is stagnant at the moment and has been for a while now, nothing is shifting at all, so if you were in a position to buy, now is probably the time. There do seem to be a lot of Brits selling up houses with lots of land to move back to the UK.

You don't need to be surrounded by Brits, I choose not to mix with that many members of the expat community because experience has taught me that a lot of them are just not that nice, and just because you have a shared language doesn't mean that you have to be friends. I do have English friends and they have turned out to be really, really good friends but I also have a lot of French friends who I use to practice my French on.

80% of my work is working from home, while living in a house that needs renovating. Once you get yourself registered it's fine, pay your cotisations, pay your taxes, keep good records and you're laughing. Working from home does mean that you have little chance to use French though so you have to make an effort to get out into the community and speak to people.

There are loads of French people in France making a living out of helping Brits with the bureaucracy, translation with builders, liaising with EDF, insurance companies etc. If you're stuck there is always someone you can call on (at a price of course) but who will sort you out.

I would say rent somewhere first and get a feel for the area, we bought our house as a holiday home initially and for that it was great, but now we're living here full time I'd prefer to be a little less isolated and a little closer to town, although where we are is great for growing DCs I imagine by the time they're teenagers it will be awful for them.

I think life is too short for what ifs, if it doesn't work you can always move back to the UK, we kept a property there although we're settled in France, but at least you can look back and think well I gave it a go.

Incidentally, my dentist sees me and the DCs and he'll extract teeth if necessary we do have to drive to the big city to see an orthodontist however.

I thought now would be a good time to buy as well aliciaflorrick. My french friend has offered (bribed) to help with translation of documents etc.

i totally agree with life beinging too short! if we hate it we'll move back home!

where abouts are you aliciaflorrick ?

Floodybuck - the only thing I would seriously caution you with is make sure you choose your place with DCs in mind if that is what you see happening in the near future.
A farmhouse in the middle of nowhere sounds bliss to my 28 year old self, but fast forward 3 years and 2 DCs and it would have been hell. Make sure you see driving in the middle of winter to the nearest town, potentially with no toddler groups or activities (as I found here!) and no 'family friendly' places to have a coffee (again, it was like a ghosttown during the day, sometimes I wanted to scream 'where have you put the children!')

If DCs aren't on the horizon for a while then ignore this advice!

Prices certainly depend on areas, as they do in the UK. Afterall a large house in rural northumbria wouldn't cost the same as one in Surrey.

You certainly can't get a nice house with a pool for 150k here. You would be looking at 300k.

thanks for that tuotuo, they are shortly on the horizon! we will consider!

Oh, and here's a bit of french for you - TouTou is what they call a cuddly toy!
Totally adorable name for them, I think.

I made this move speaking no French (didn't do it for GCSE and failed GCSE German ). It was the best thing I ever did. I moved while pg with ds and went on to have dd over here. It's taken 6 years but I now have a good circle of friends, both French and English, the kids are settled in school and totally bilingual and I live in a beautiful house that I could only dream of in the uk.

Life is very hard at times. Money is tight and the language is difficult. I'm still nowhere near fluent but I can go out for coffee with French friends and not make too much of a twat out of myself.

The best piece of advice I can give you is, don't do it for the cheaper houses blah blah blah. Do it because you prefer the lifestyle, want to embrace the culture and become part of a French community. If you put the effort in with the locals you'll be accepted and you'll be fine. If you come over and try to live your English life over here, constantly comparing the 2 countries, you'll be back in the uk within two years.

Round here they are called DouDou.

If you are thinking about children I suggest you have a think about education too. I like the schools here, but there are many who would disagree with me. Alot depends on what emphasis you would put on certain this such as creativity.

Good advice Chuck.

Really French? A doudou for us is a special blanky that you use at naptime! Cute names though.

Any comforter is a doudou here. But a lot of things like that, along with some phrases tend to be very regional.

Whereabouts are you frenchfancy?

The reasons property is so cheap around here is because it's a very rural area with extremely high unemployment, the only work is in pork factories or on farms and all the young people move away as soon as they can to the cities so they can get work. They're not interested in big old houses with loads of land that they have to light a stove every morning for the central heating and not flick a switch for the gas and have to get the fosse emptied every 3 months.

But if you're not relying on finding work here and are already self employed and you fancy a veggie patch and some chickens and are happy to pop into town for a coffee and a chat on market day then it's perfect. Also good for young children, but I'm already a taxi driver taking them to see their friends who are also miles away in the countryside and I can only foresee it getting worse in the future. Schools are good though.

alicia are you my neighbour??

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I know a lovely couple one of whom speaks native fluency French, both of whom had vast amounts of experience farming / living.

They were planning on renting for a couple of years then buying. But then after 2 months they found the perfect farm, very cheap, etc etc. Now they're not a couple, and they're trying to sell . . .

You can still have your adventure if you rent a place, but you can leave whenever you like!

I would say - quite mad. At least do much, much preparation before you do this - including language lessons. Standed in the countryside with no French, you will be fucked over by tradesmen and have no friends. As others have already said, the cheap houses are cheap for a reason. Maybe lovely for a holiday - not so pleasant in the dead of winter.

I live in a cosmopolitan metropolis, surrounded by expats. It was STILL hard to make friends. Minor bureaucracy is a nightmare and I speak the language fairly well. This used to be my dream too - a little small holding in rural France....I imagined a cosy retirement where we grew our own veg and kept chickens....Nah - the reality is no social life, no shops, no public transport, no nothing. I would be bored to death.

If you are planning children, think very, very carefully about what that would imply for your lifestyle.

We moved here with no dc, and absolutely loved it. We are both fluent in French, though, and I cannot imagine how we would have managed without it.

However, we now have two dcs and will unfortunately have to move in the not too distant future, as we just hate the French state schooling system and do not have access to any doable alternatives.

When we bought our house, we thought that being within 1 hour of a couple of large cities would be sufficient to meet our 'big city' needs, but that is just way too far to drive to school and back every day! You really have to think about the immediate vicinity when children are involved.

And beware cheap large farmhouses, they are an absolute money sink! The amount you pay up front for one of these properties is almost irrelevant, as you will spend many times that doing it up. IMO you are better off getting something less cheap in a more sought after location and spending the same amount doing it up, but still have the option to sell it if you decide to leave. A cheap farmhouse may just not be sellable when it comes to it, and then you have lost not only the money you spent on buying it, also everything you have spent doing it up!

Have you lived in a big cold house without central heating on a farm/in a remote area before?

The reason I ask is because I do. It is not just "pretty farmhouse in the sunshine" moments. Think of going out to collect wood from the stack in the lashing rain. Think playing paper/scissor/stone with your husband to be the one to fetch more coal upstairs. Think having to walk 1/2 mile over boggy muddy ground to reach the Landrover.

Are you thinking of actually working a small holding? Ever done it before? It really is not that easy and you make a lot of mistakes at the beginning.

I hope this doesn't sound very rude, but I think you need to think it through a bit more.

Just seen your planning dc. Right, imagine doing all of that whilst clutching a baby with a 2 year old round your ankles and a 3 and 4 year old trailing behind. It is hard work and yy to the money pit issue. Thank God we don't own our house, it's 900 years old in bits and crumbling round our ears. Also needs specialist attention as its cob in parts. And I love every brick of it.

We lived in France for a few years and I LOVED it. I hadn't studied French since I was at school so had sub-O level language skills. It didn't matter, we figured it out and had fun doing it. It was some of the best years of my life so far.

About house prices - don't listen to people who say it's not cheaper straight off. It absolutely depends where in the UK you live and where in France you want to live. If you're moving from e.g. rural lancashire to rural Normandy or Picardy you'll find it's much of a muchness. If you're moving from London commuter belt to e.g rural Normandy you'll be laughing. (Just as you would be if you were moving from London to Herefordshire). As with most things, it's all relative.

We are not unused to a bit of hard work and roughing it. We live on a narrow boat, anyone who lives full time of a narrow boat will tell you winters are hard. Walking 15-20 mins from car to boat through snow and ice with shopping etc. Running out of water because we're iced in. Pump out toilet full to th brim and stinking the place out, and unable to empty because iced in. Waking up at 5am freezing your tits off because the fire had gone out. Ice on the inside of the windows. Leaking windows that piss rain everywhere. So no silentmammoth we are not strangers to a bit of hard work. We love living on our boat! Just as I'm sure we will enjoy a big old farm house.

We are not unused to a bit of hard work and roughing it. We live on a narrow boat, anyone who lives full time of a narrow boat will tell you winters are hard. Walking 15-20 mins from car to boat through snow and ice with shopping etc. Running out of water because we're iced in. Pump out toilet full to th brim and stinking the place out, and unable to empty because iced in. Waking up at 5am freezing your tits off because the fire had gone out. Ice on the inside of the windows. Leaking windows that piss rain everywhere. So no silentmammoth we are not strangers to a bit of hard work. We love living on our boat! Just as I'm sure we will enjoy a big old farm house.

I know someone who did this last year. kids straight in schools, herself no French whatsoever. They rented a house for a year to get to know the area. She went to college everyday to learn French. She forced herself to chat to mums outside school, scripted calls to edf, stayed off Facebook and became as social as she could with French. They are in a remote ish area, not many expats. Her dh carried in working, and learning French round work.

A year later, she speaks almost fluent French, kids integrated. She also had an injury and has been unable to drive on crutches. She is moving nearer a town.

Go ahead- you only go round once after all -through dont forget it's cold up north in France. Personally I would be as far south as poss:)

If you do buy, you could always keep it and rent in for summer seasons as a holiday home. And try Spain, Italy etc:)

Bonne chance:) and the hospitals etc are fine. Different but fine:)

In this departement and the 4 others I've lived in 'toutou' means 'doggie' or 'pooch.

I agree that if you have your heart set on this, you should rent first and try out a winter in the area where are planning on settling before committing to buying. It's very costly to buy and sell a houses in France.

Given current living circumstances (slight drip feed, OP, but we'll let you off), it sounds like you might well make a go of it BUT I would be cautious about wanting to be super-rural if you're planning kids. Having a baby/toddler often makes the most anti-social lone wolf run like crazy in the direction of adult company. It's not like you can just wander around all day lost in your own thoughts, tending your veggie patch and reading once you have a baby (attractive though that is to me at the moment) and entertaining a pre-schooler all day every day with no "external feeds" can be challenging.

I would also second what others have said re. getting stuff done and finding good tradesmen who show up and dont rip you off without having to employ middlemen.

Also, re language, if you're both lone wolves and you're not working, and he's working from home, how are you going to interact enough to learn French to the degree that when you need it (for admin etc) you can speak it well enough to get by?

Tbh, I think if you have the cash, you don't mind losing 250k if it doesnt work and you cant sell, and you fancy the adventure then go for it. If you werent going to have kids then I think I would bet on you sticking it out, but I think that'll be the deal breaker.