Just for a laugh.... can you remember the things that identified you as a new migrant??

[chloeb2002]

soooo. i was in the supermarket today when a very english lady asked for stamps.... the look from the sales staff face when they said.. no we are a supermarket not a post office was classic.. it set me thinking... my blunders were.. thongs at a golf club... who TF would know you were wearing them.... and parking on the wrong side of the road facing traffic, when a man asked what i was doing .... followed by was i eupopean.... urmmm yup... so anyone else had any funnies???

My sis in LA asked her art class for a rubber(condom in LA) and I organised a car boot sale for my village(oz) told a man he could have a good root through my box, my aussie friends tell it to everyone as a root is basically a shag here and well a box is another euphemism...
Dogging classes are held here too, which in Uk is car voyeurism, here its scaffolding.

dogging classes!

i tried to pack my own bags at the supermarket... and then when visiting the uk stood waiting at the checkout in tesco until it dawned on me that i had to pack the groceries myself... both times the checkout girl looked at me like i shouldn't be allowed out alone.

I am wearing Ugg boots as today is dress down day at work. I have been informed by my Western Australian colleagues that this is the equivalent of coming to work in your slippers!

My son was told to bring a plate to Cubs one night. We took along an empty plate, everyone else took along food.

When my class did something very good I asked if I could get them all a lolly. I meant ice lolly but here in NZ it means sweets. My principal said no very firmly, didn't realise why until much later.

Stopping at red traffic lights, zebra crossings etc. Using a seatbelt. Not keeping my child up and running round the streets at midnight.

Real weird stuff like that.

Driving around the roundabout the wrong way, thank god it was quiet and that there were no police around.

walking the dog off the lead, a big no no here.

Being followed by a stranger while walking to the local mall, little did i know i was in an area frequented by prostitutes. I remember calling dh and telling him the guy's car reg in case i was abducted or something!

Most of what bucharest said.

Pants--lots of opportunities for a yankee like myself to get in trouble over here. Boy saying his 6 year old sister looks like a "hooker" (she's reaching up to catch something. Hooker has another meaning in the US.

I lived in Canada.......

insisting on packing my own bags at the checkout

When they ask,'how are you today?' Replying, 'oh, all right' when the correct answer should be, 'just awesome thanks!'

My obstetrician couldn't get her head around the way I questioned the multitude of tests. Over there, when you have insurance you get your money's worth by grabbing every medical test available

Jaywalking

swearing (it's a huge social faux pas in Canada)

However, I redeemed myself by showing a healthy interest in Hockey

Not realising I had to label the inside of our letterbox with our name - and so not receiving any mail for months

I did also answer the checkout girl wrongly .... I was so used to the standard ... have you got a club card .... that when she sad how's your day been ... I answered.. no thanks .... oops.. that's how to get a strange look ..

Standing on the right, instead of the left on escalators.
Asking for plasters in the chemist.
Ordering a girl's pinafore in the uniform shop.
Asking what the quickest route was (and pronouncing it root )

Walking on the street (taxi's give me incredulous beeps)
Not realising the beeps are not being horrible but asking if you want a taxi
Looking after my OWN children (its not the done thing here)
Packing my own groceries
Buying lower than factor 30 SPF
Talking to maids at the swimming pool
Opening doors for people rather than bargeing through yourself

Walking with my young kids in a torrential downpour without umbrella or coat. I thought, it's 28 degrees, if we get wet it won't matter, it'll be fun. Locals stared at us open-mouthed in horror.

Wearing a pair of shorts in the front garden.
Putting the petrol in the car myself (backfires when you sit in the Shell in Dover waiting for someone to do it for you)
Talking to men when I was on my own.
Using the wrong sort of string to tie the newspapers up.
Not having the currants and water in our bomb shelter.
Refusing to give tea money for a non existent traffic offence
Refusing to give tea money for putting a cigarette out on the street.
So many to list due to the five countries we've lived in.

not a different country, but when I first moved from the north east to Manchester, I went into Greggs and asked for a Stottie cake and was shocked that they didn't have a clue what I meant

referring to flip flops instead of jandals and swimming costumes instead of togs.

asking for a lolly and being given a sweet when I should have asked for Iceblock

IntoTheIttyGritty - what you wanted was a popsicle :)

I find that I do stupid things when I return to the uk:

Roundabouts - takes me two usually before I remember

Single track roads - automatically pull over to the right to let someone pass

Pulling out on to A roads - I have to think really carefully about which side if there is no traffic coming to guide me

Cafés - I will sit for bloody ages thinking what shit service it is as I'm so used to table service WHEREVER I go here in Spain, whether its for a beer in a pub or a quick coffee in tiny café.

Bag packing - yy I have also stood in English supermarkets wondering where the packer is

Thongs - yy to that as well, wondered why people talked about just 'grabbing their thongs' until I realised they were on about their flipflops.

Eating out with children - here they are welcome EVERYWHERE from 3 michelin down to the chiringuitos. And they all behave because* it's the norm.

Also to me it's just normal and polite to say good morning/afternoon etc upon entering and leaving small shops. Do that in London and I get looks that suggest they believe I'm about to commit an armed robbery.

yy to the hello to everyone in shops (and goodbye) on leaving

I also asked where the wine list was in Pizza Express (not attached to a hotel so no alcohol license) have got round that as they do home delivery (as does McDonalds/Burger King/sushi/kfc )

yy to general hello-ing and goodbye-ing in shops.

I've also driven on the wrong side of the road both here and the UK Particularly memorable was wondering why the bus was on the wrong side of the road while driving down the high street in Bexhill At least people were thinking it was a stupid French woman rather than stupid ex-pat

Fenouille I have done that a fair few times and once when someone was giving me and vair rude signage I just wound down my window and spoke Spanish to them as I was a touch

A family member commented on how nice it was to wash your hands in ice in restaurant toilets. All the women were confused and the men were uncomfortably silent.

She'd been wandering into the wrong toilets (reasoning that 'H' and 'M' stood for 'Her' and 'Men' rather than 'Homem' and 'Mujer' ) and washing her hands in the urinal.

Yes to the bag packing - I still get told off for trying to do it.

Daring to go outside without putting hats on the DCs, and walking in the rain with them. I'm convinced people here think that children will melt!

MadamDS my local shopping centre is called La Cañada and no matter how many times I say it's called La CanYada, people call it La Canarda and wonder why the local taxis have no idea what they're on about.