Ok - so you need a lot of help!
Firstly, will your husband employer help out by providing a relocation company? They will help you out tonnes when it comes to all these matters.
My children attend local school as we are probably here for the long haul, but I do know a few families who have attended BIPS, and all have been veryhappy if that's what you want for them. I. The meantime you hVe a huge choice of nursery places (dagis). There are English dagis available, namely Mother Goose and also a few Montessori too, esp around Danderyd. There are also a few bi lingual dagis too, it will depend on where you are living as to availability. I live in the neighbouring kommun to Danderyd and my children attend a fantastic bilingual school.
With regards to accommodation, as with everything, it comes down tobudget. Of course Dandryd is the most popular area with expats and therefore the most expensive. As your looking to stay north of Stockholm there are very few 'undesirable' areas. Solna is mostly apartments but try looking at Sollentuna, ( that's where I am). Excellent for families, good transport links and fab facilities. Finding accommodation can be difficult and there are waiting lists for some areas, again a healthy budget really helps.
Curtains- very few homes have proper curtains (normally bedrooms only). If you have curtains and close them at night people with presume you are up to something! It is something that you get used to, I promise. The swedes are very good at not staring in peoples homes, they would be mortified if they were caught looking.
Some websites to help you in the meantime-
www.hemnet.se
www.bostaddirekt.se
www.mumsinsweden.com
www.thelocal.se
I need to go now but feel free to pm me, only to glad to help out!