So when the UK sleeps, we know you other MNers are out there part II

[tadjennyp]

I was looking for thumbwitch's recipe for that cake and found the old thread has disappeared so Linzer and I thought we'd resurrect it!

I heard it was chilly in MN at the moment. Dh was there the other week and thought the winter was much harsher than ours in Oregon! We keep getting 50s during the day at the moment which is rubbish for the ski resorts!

All this talk about cupcakes is making me feel very hungry. My neighbour Jane is throwing a baby shower for me this afternoon so I'm hoping someone will bring some cupcakes! It's very kind of her and I know she's gone to a lot of trouble. It's mainly expats of various sorts, so we're not really sure what the protocol is!

Ooh, have fun! And congrats!

It's been quite mild here in Austria recently too - not great for skiing, but it's cooled down again this week. Hopefully it won't warm up too much until after the DC's skiing course next month!

Enjoy the baby shower, jenny! My antenatal exercise class at the Y had a joint one, which was great fun and the only time I've ever been to one.

tad - if it was possible to mail them to you, i would!

next sat we may be going snow shoe-ing, so hoping there is snow but not too cold!

Have fun with that kickass. I'm determined to do that too, but fear it may be next winter, if this baby is a klingon!

I love snowshoeing! I got a pair from my Dad over Christmas. It's really fun and burns the cals if you do it fast. Which I don't. :) But theoretically...

I guess you lot don't want to know that it was 38deg C here yesterday then, do you... nor that it looks as thought it's going to be about the same today.
I can't bear it - we stay in with the curtains closed and the doors and windows shut to keep the hot wind out; and when it gets too hot inside we have the ceiling fan and air con on.

The sun here really does fry you as soon as look at you - it's scary hot - hence why we stay in. :)

Hope you had a nice babyshower, Jenny!

Babyshower was very nice thank you. It has been really mild here so that we've been able to get out to the park. I'm really paying for it now though and have horrendous heartburn. It won't be long now, will it? [bshock]

Do everything you can (despite nothing really working) - sex, curry, pineapple, raspberry leaf, running, driving over bumpy roads - don't go to the extremes of falling off stepladders though. [bwink]

Making plans to see people - that usually does it, doesn't it? [bgrin]

Supposed to be meeting a couple of pregnant friends tomorrow night. Was busy telling them I could still eat anything. Serves me right!

Thumb - funnily enough, I don't feel jealous of your heat at all as I know how hard it can be! It might be cold and dreary and drizzly here but it's a lot more bearable that the heat in St Lucia. I just have so much more energy here!

Our stuff has finally been delivered so the house is full of half unpacked boxes. Yuck I hate this bit, it's going to take ages until we are organised especially as we have ordered a bunk bed for the girls' room and can't really make up their new wardrobe, chests of drawers until it comes. So hard to unpack their stuff.....

Otherwise I have sent in my NCT antenatal tutor training application and am contemplating whether to do an online writer's course or a residential one. Having written most of a novel and realising it needs a fairly major rewrite I am wondering whether to get a bit of professional help! It might have to wait a year or two though, I am really struggling for time and it will be so much easier once dd2 is at school.

I am also seriously considering writing a book proposal for a Rough Guide to being a Trailing Spouse - will come back to you for help if I do! (although I realise you are not all trailing spouses of course..)

stranded - if you do the 'trailing spouse' thing i'd love to know any stats for divorce.
i'd also like to hear about couples where one moves and the other has stayed put. my sister has both 'trailed' (before dc) and stayed put, but the staying put was only across the UK. i just wonder the effect on couples when they invest so much in careers, that it affects the family so much. or whether, actually, unemployment but staying together 'at home' is better in some ways? (bit of a grim choice, but what we faced)

I do know of a couple where he works in Borneo & she works in Hong Kong, but they are close to retiring so no young kids. She's a teacher so uses the long summer holidays, and he has seasonal work, so can get to her in winter. Christmas is, however, a movable feast, both time & location wise.

A former colleague of mine was married for years - they had 2 teens together and he spent at least the 6 years I worked with her working in Amsterdam, while she and the DC lived in the UK. He used to come home every weekend. Anyway - just last year I found out that they are divorcing thanks to him going off with an OW. Presumably someone he works with, definitely someone he met overseas.

Ok, I know it's only one example.

I have another friend who trails her DH around the world, with their 2 young DDs. They seem ok with it so far!

Again, only one example.

I couldn't do it, tbh - if DH's job required either constant movement or him being away for weeks at a time I'd find it very difficult to deal with.

Thanks guys and the fact that you both have examples already shows there must be an interest for this out there.....

The reason I thought of doing it is because I kept meeting people (mostly wives but I am sure there are male partners out there too) in St Lucia who were almost shell shocked by it all. It is probably only in the last decade or so that there have been large numbers of people moving abroad to work who haven't been with the dip service/forces/large company like Shell so therefore haven't had the support network that usually comes with working for those organisations. And even they are cutting back - or nothing is established. We had no support at ALL in St Lucia, which is difficult in a developing country and was really only ok for us because we had both done postings before.

Of course a large part of the book would be about work/career but it would also cover things such as children, schooling, culture shock, staff, homesickness, social life, language, when things go wrong etc.....

Unfortunately not sure when I am going to get time to write a proper proposal (disclaimer: I can MN because it's in between looking after dd2...) and who knows what would happen if they actually wanted me to write it! but it is a subject I am quite passionate about at least! And I have a lot of people I can call on for their experiences (which is mostly what the book would be based on).

That sounds really interesting stranded. I guess I'm not really a trailing spouse as it's kind of a permanent move and the company isn't likely to move us around again. I did pretty much give up my career though, which is only not a problem as the dcs are so young! The writers' course sounds great!

Hi everyone

stranded am interested in your trailing spouse book (a subject close to my heart!). I think moving overseas for husband's career is v hard - totally different to emigrating through 'choice' (I mean it wasn't our 'dream' to live here)

I've not read "Diplomatic Baggage: The Adventures of a Trailing Spouse" but perhaps she covers some of the areas?

Hi redflipflops (where are you again? Was it you in Bangkok? If so, how are you getting on?)

Diplomatic Baggage is actually one of my inspirations. The first chapter talks about her first few weeks in her last (I think?) posting - when the staff become your only and therefore best friends, when you are left sitting alone at home while your other half trots off to work every morning...I read this when we first arrived in Islamabad - possibly the most miserable few weeks of my life, and it made me feel so much better. Basically because I realised I wasn't alone and everyone went through that awful first stage. Learning a bit about "culture shock" helped too.

But her book is really only about her experiences. I wanted to draw on as many different people from as many different places as possible. Luckily I have a good network through my various postings, friends in the forces and of course MN! I would also love to include some anecdotes from my mum and grandmother's times - my parents were in Havana in the 1960's and we think things are tough now, it's nothing to like it was then. And my granny's husband was posted to Hong Kong after the war - where he was murdered. She and my very young mother were with him when it happened and had to jump off the train they were travelling on and find their way home...anyway. I feel like i have a lot of things to write about!

Jenny - I found giving up my career seemed fine while the dc's were still young (well of course they are still young!). But now dd1 has started school and dd2 will start in 2012, my thoughts realy are turning to what to do with my life now....(as you can probably tell! Trouble is it all might be a little premature as dd2 still takes up a lot of my time!)

How are you feeling today??

Just tired and achey. Can't wait for him to come. Red is in California, I think it was theBossofme who is in Bangkok, but haven't seen any posts from her in a long while. Perhaps on the feminism boards? How horrible for your granny.

Hi yes - am in California (which everyone at home thinks is paradise!). DH's company put a lot of pressure on us to move and I think that has given it a bit of a negative edge. I'm actually OK now but did find the first 9 months VERY hard.

My own career is one of the reasons I want to return to blighty (in the next year or two). Like you stranded I was happy to be a SAHM for the early years but starting to feel I need to prepare for the next chapter!

stranded, dh's grandparents went to australia on the 'ten pound' tickets back in the 40s - there was actually a huge amount of movement after the 2WW, for political & economic reasons.

also, don't forget all those americans, who hitched up a wagon & headed west - back then, they said good-by forever. i can't imagine what that was like.

i'd be interested in a mix of practical advice, anecdotes & some historical info about population migration.

well, now we've given you some helpful ideas, off you pop & get it done! it's always so easy to get ideas, writing it all out is the hard part.

tad - hope things go well for you. one of my cousins is now 8 days overdue & getting a bit desperate, judging from her facebook updates.

ooh!! no she's not. baby arrived this eve!

A new cousin - how exciting kickass! The Oregon Trail Museum is very interesting actually but you still don't really get the full impression of how bloody hard it must have been. They must have been so depressed if they got to our part of Oregon when the weather began to turn!

What did you do red?

I love the book 'Diplomatic baggage'. Made me want her life!