Handhold and advice please
my 76 year old dad has a bad stroke a week ago, been in ICU since, breathing but barely awake, said a few words and seem to understand instructions and recognize us but asleep 99 pct of the time. Last night they moved him into semi intensive care and he had a heart attack. His heart wasn’t beating for five minutes. They gave him CPR and oxygen and he’s breathing now but they’re keeping him on sedative for today and tonight as they say he’s too weak to wake now. They say his bein may have been damaged further. He still seems to have use of limbs.
To make matters worse my sister is causing conflict, she got angry at my mum for sending her a text explaining about the heart attack (my sister didn’t answer her phone so she sent a text) and that the way my mum worded it sounded like dad was already dead. My mum and her argued and then it was decided they wouldn’t go together to the hospital (they both live one hour away in the same town whereas I live near the hospital). I got angry at my sister for not wanting to take my mum along and calls her to say she should bring her, as my mum hadn’t slept all night and I was worried she couldn’t safely drive. My sister said it was my mum who didn’t want to go w her, and in the end my sister came to the hospital by herself. I was waiting for her in the cafe downstairs and finally called her, she said she already been to see my dad and was leaving again. I then said why didn’t you call me so we could see dad together and she said she didn’t want to because I had shouted at her earlier. I then got angry and hung up on her. My mum has subsequently said she now made up with my sister. They often fight and both her and me often have conflicts with my sister, but not with each other. It’s all so upsetting and I understand it’s all the dynamics coming out due to the grief and fear but I feel I can’t forgive my sister for creating conflict at a time like this. She frequently twists my words when I say things so I’m afraid to even talk to her. We already had a conflict earlier in the week when she wanted to plan who should see my dad when and we both wanted to come Sunday and she said that day suits her best and I should come another day, and I said she didn’t decide that (in the end, I’ve been here every day).
im so scared and I feel like my dad will die as he’s in such a bad condition. He also had triple bypass in the spring and was just recovering from that fully. I’m just sitting here at the hospital, my mum and sister have left. I don’t feel I can leave my dad as he has the heat attack last night because he choked on some slime in his lungs and they didn’t see it soon enough.
DH is at home wit the kids, 9 and 12. They’re very close w their grandparents. I don’t know how to talk to them shit how ill my dad is either. I just love gik so much I don’t think I can cope with this.
I also feel I’m falling apart. Grateful for any advice or comfort ❤️