Stage4 pancreatic

[AnotherGreatYearfck]

My wonderful, gentle, DF was diagnosed this week. He’s 83. We are waiting for a date for his hospital appointment. What will happen in it? Do we have a chance to ask questions? If they don’t offer treatment, can we insist on it?
I’m feeling exhausted already, but need to be there for dad and mum.

Sorry you are going through this, it’s so tough to watch them go, I was like you I didn’t want him to prolong the pain and suffer.
we found out his cancer had returned in the April, liver cancer and secondary lung. He was ok for a couple of weeks but then went down hill very fast.
Friday he walked to the chip shop, Saturday struggled to walk from room to room, Sunday he took to his bed and stopped eating, and he died on the Thursday. He was in and out of consciousness from the Monday.
im glad it took him quickly, he didn’t deserve it.

I'm really sorry to hear this. My really good friend died from this a few years ago. For her it was very quick --- 3 months from diagnoses.
Some people last longer, but you can go downhill very fast.

She had Macmillan nurses come in to support and advise.

Wishing you all the best for you and your family.

So sorry to hear this OP. I’d go to him asap, you won’t regret it. My poor Dad died from it nearly two years ago just 2 weeks after being diagnosed, it can be so devastatingly quick, although looking back I’m so glad he didn’t suffer for months. Take care x

My mum had it aged 85 and had palliative chemo on the advice of the oncologist and nurses, which initially seemed to help with the symptoms, but eventually the chemo seemed to make things worse, she was too weak for it, ended up in hospital for a week (which made her really fed up), came out and had some kind of stroke and never really regained consciousness. Even in hospital she hadn't been herself at all, I wonder if she had a mini stroke before/as she went in, but I'm glad we could have her with us at home where she died peacefully, this was just over five months after diagnosis. The local hospice charity were really helpful and helped to arrange the end of life palliative care at home. She was never in any pain with the cancer throughout after diagnosis though - Oramorph controlled it well.

Sadly this was not our experience with either district or macmillan and my relative was in indescribable pain until they eventually came despite my phone calls .
I agree there is no need for pain but the reality is that sometimes when the patient is at home care and pain relief is inconsistent until they are in a hospice.
I work with animals and we do a much better job with pain control than i witnessed with a human being.

I am so,so sorry to read this and my thoughts go out to you and your family. I lost my mum to this 8 years ago and know first hand how you are feeling. Stay strong 💐 ❤️

im so glad you’re going. I’ll be thinking of you all

My step father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer at the beginning of July, he passed 5 weeks later. Up until diagnosis he appeared fit & healthy albeit with noticeable weight loss. I’m sorry you are going through this and my thoughts are with you x

Please go immediately.

@Crwysmam I'm so sorry for your loss. What a truly awful illness it is x

Thank you for all of your posts. It’s so sad that a lot of you have been in a similar situation. I’m sorry for swearing and getting quite arsey on my post a couple of days ago. The stress is getting to me.
Dad had his first chemo today. I wasn’t there but my sibling reported back and said he was amazed that they went ahead with it as Dad is so weak. I’m going up tomorrow x

I am so sorry this is happening to you and your family and to your lovely Dad.

My brother died of pancreatic cancer in 2014 and lasted five months from diagnosis to death.

Every case is different, but from the recent deterioration you describe, he may not have much longer now. I would spend as much time with him, and supporting your Mum as you are able.

xx

Also, you have our permission to be as sweary and arsey as you like.

Fuck cancer😡

I'm really surprised they gave him chemotherapy at this point.

So were we. Both mum and my siblings have been keeping me updated and I’m amazed that the hospital thought he was well enough to go ahead. My brother commented that everyone else in the treatment centre looked in better condition than dad. We shall see how he copes over the next few days. He’s stopped eating because he’s constipated, but the unit have given him some drugs to help. My poor mum is exhausted.

It is and hopefully yourDF recieves the same care my DSis had. It wasn’t the best initially but once diagnosed and apparent that it was terminal we couldn’t fault the process.
Concentrate on the time you have rather than focussing on the time you want.

PS with chemo it’s often given palliatively to help with the symptoms. It’s a balancing act though, he can withdraw at any stage. It’s about quality of life over quantity.

Well, he had his chemo and had a bad reaction to it. He is now in hospital. I’m up here with my mum. It’s not looking good.

Sending best wishes and strength to you and your Mum.

Sorry to hear that OP. Best wishes to you and your family

I'm really sorry OP. My DF died from this cancer in 2024. He was incredibly fit at aged 70. He was a bit stronger than your dad when he had his first chemo session but then deteriorated very quickly. Once he struggled to eat and walk, I'd say he lasted about 4 weeks. He was very heavily medicated for most of that. He spent the last 10 days in hospice which was a massive relief as he didn't feel safe at home. The week in hospice he was basically unconscious. I basically spent the last month with him, going back to my home for maybe 1 or 2 nights. I was lucky to have a very supportive employer who let me work as and when I wanted to from my parents house which I did when he was sleeping (most of the day). Towards the end, he probably won't be able to speak but he'll be able to hear so just keep talking.

I’m really sorry, OP. My father died and it is a big comfort that we could be with him in his final days and tell him how much we loved him. It’s great that you are together. Wishing you all the best for the days ahead. You aren’t alone.

Oh OP that's very hard for you and your family.

I hope his end is peaceful and pain-free.

Really sorry to hear how poorly your Dad is. My Mum has just had a similar diagnosis and I know how devastating it is.

I hope you are ok, OP. My Dad is in the hospital too after immunotherapy side effects. I’m feeling quite scared and worried about it all. Just wanted to say you are not alone.