Bad news today

[badnews943]

Had a nightmare today. Received news that I have type 3 breast cancer which may be in my lungs. I'm having a lung biopsy next week but the Dr seemed pretty certain.

I'm not sure what to think. Any advice or support?

@Lifestooshort71 Thank you, yes I am doing ok. I have a 'new normal' as they call it. After cancer treatments like that you can't suddenly or maybe ever go back to your former self or life, it had all been destroyed and was long gone. But yes, living ok with my new normal.

@Words Sorry to hear about your struggles.

@badnews943 I used patient transport sometimes during my treatment. Especially during radiotherapy. At least it's free and gets us from A to B, although it can add some hours to the time away from home in comparison to if someone had driven us there and back.

I've had my MRI and bone scan. Contacted the BC nurses who are going to arrange for me to see the Dr and my Dr is calling me tomorrow.

I need to find out what to do at weekends because what happened is ridiculous. I'm wondering if I should contact the OOH oncology team at the hospital.

How are you today @badnews943 ?

Thanks for asking, I've been busy.

I contacted the respiratory clinic to see if I could speed up the biopsy results. I have an appointment on Thursday with the BC consultant re the changes. I have spoken to my GP about speeding up the results as well, so she's going to contact the consultant as well.

I have an appointment with the coordinator about assistance round the home.

That's a lot achieved in a day. Sounds like you are a few steps nearer to getting the information you need

It's not bad. I've also been referred to OT proper regarding assistance and a home assessment. PALS are also on the case chasing up the results.

You have my admiration @badnews943 . You are dealing with so much yet getting so much done. ❤️

Thanks but I'm by myself and need to put things in place in case things get bad. Im just trying to plan ahead.

My BC appointment has been cancelled tomorrow. I was told that the MDT are meeting to discuss my case and I'll have an appointment after that. That must mean my results are in.

I have an appointment with respiratory to discuss the biopsy results next week and it's going to be the worst day of my life. I don't want to go because suddenly everything is real, in motion and I'm on this pathway. After that it will be oncology for a treatment plan and the full horror of my diagnosis.

Sorry to hear your news were going threw simular with me 15 yr old neice bone and lung cancer just having bioipsy now

Im sorry to hear that. I wish you strength. 💐

Wishing you strength too @badnews943 .

I’m sorry your BC appointment has been cancelled OP - it all adds to the anxiety, because waiting for results is so very stressful. But the MDT clearly want time to look at the results and decide the best course of action. This happened to me a couple of times - on one occasion because there was a difference of opinion between a couple of members of the team.

I know it’s really hard, but please try not to catastrophise because it will just make things worse. To put it bluntly, from the moment you were diagnosed you were on this pathway and it is most definitely real. The hardest part is accepting that, and putting yourself in the hands of the experts. You’re doing great in getting this far - persevere for another few days and then instead of thinking of it as the full horror, try to see it as getting a clearer picture of what’s going on and the first step in tackling it.

There is a cancer thread which will give you support. Don’t know how to link but Ithink it is under health

MDT haven't cancelled the appointment tomorrow, the BC consultant has. There were changes I wanted her to take a look at.

Im aware that the situation is real but I don't know the full extent of the situation yet. Therefore finding out the full extent of my diagnosis is horrific to me if it means it's spread throughout my body. It's hard not to catastrophise during a cancer investigation. I've also been told that I might need chemotherapy for the rest of my life. You'll have to excuse me if Im not delighted at starting the treatment.

I didn’t mean to offend @badnews943 . I’ve been through this myself and am still undergoing treatment. It does take a while to get your head around and the only thing I’m advocating here is that it’s much easier to deal with it all if you can try to accept it. It’s hard - not least because it seems so unfair. And it doesn’t help that there isn’t much in the way of reassurance - if any - until all of the test results are in and you have a treatment plan. Sorry, but I had the impression from your earlier post that the BC consultant had cancelled the appointment because the MDT were meeting to discuss your case - this has happened to me on a couple of occasions and both times I had another appointment within a few days, so hopefully you won’t be waiting long.

I'd just like a space where I can write what I feel without being censored.

I read @Rosscameasdoody 's posts as supportive - sometimes it's hard for those of us who've been/who are in similar situations to say the right thing and not have it taken the wrong way.

I know you have to deal with it yourself but you are still coping much better than I would in the same situation and my see is genuine xx

Oh gosh that must feel so scary. I get what you mean when things suddenly start feeling real.

You know you still have us here even though I know it's not perfect.

I will be thinking of you and wishing you all the best for your appointment next week xxx

At the moment Im in limbo and don't have a clear picture so of course there's hope as well as dread. I'm dreading the biopsy results and oncology appointment. Im bringing my sister with me though so at least I'll have someone with me.

Macmillan have a good list of questions to ask during the treatment meeting and I'll copy some of them down.

Thank you for your well wishes. It feels good to have some support.

Agree. You shouldn’t feel censored and that wasn’t my intention at all - apologies if that’s how I made you feel. Was just trying to advise based on my experience. As you’re finding out, a cancer diagnosis changes everything. It takes away any sense of security you had and makes you very vulnerable. There are no guarantees - you look for reassurance that no-one can give you - and you feel as though the rug has been pulled out from under your life.

You’re early on in the journey OP - you’ve not had a full diagnosis as yet and naturally are fearing the worst when that diagnosis comes. Waiting for test results is one of the hardest parts of all of this and when I said try not to catastrophise it was because I’ve learned from experience that it can significantly increase the fear and anxiety you feel while awaiting the results, which in turn affects your ability to think clearly and rationally when you do receive them. And you need to be able to do that to make decisions about the next steps. It’s a hard road and fear and anxiety make it harder, but knowledge is power OP. When you have the facts, you can make better, more informed decisions.

I know you meant well and thank you for being kind. I also understand that you're going through a difficult time yourself so appreciate your support. As you can imagine I'm struggling, I'm feeling positive one minute and terrified the next.

Very sorry. Must be scary

Limbo land is always a horrible place to be and I imagine flip flopping between hope and dread is scary and exhausting. Just write and vent whatever you want here. This space is for you.

I'm really glad your sister will be there to support you.

Great advice re writing down questions. Xx

Understandable OP. Your mind plays tricks on you at times like these. One minute you think you’re on top of things and feeling more positive, and then the intrusive thoughts push their way in and the fear is right there again. It plays havoc with your emotions.

The very word strikes fear into you and I don’t know about you, but I found it a very strange experience to have someone sitting across from me telling me I had cancer - it’s something that happens to other people. Until it happens to you.

What you’re experiencing now is the new normal, and it takes time to get used to, but trust me, you’re doing better than I was at this stage. And when you get your full diagnosis, it will also be accompanied by a treatment plan. That’s what the MDT’s determine. They are the experts and they look at the whole picture. You’re in good hands OP, it just takes time to relax into it and learn to trust. You’ll get there.