Hand hold - DH likely to die in next few days

[Bahemoth]

My DH went to hospital a month ago with seizures that wouldn’t stop. He was resistant to all medication so they had to put him in an induced coma on ICU to try and stop them and reduce swelling on the brain. This last option hadn’t worked, as they don’t know the underlying cause for the seizures and they’ve now told me he’s unlikely to survive.

We have two young children and I’m not sure how I can face life without him or how I would break the news to DS9 when the time comes. My other child is 4. I’m in bits, he’s only 39 and was fit and healthy before this.

OP in ICU you’re in the best hands the NHS has to offer. Lean on them and trust them. They will make sure everything is done to help him. They also offer a pastoral service. You don’t need to be a believer in any specific entity or religion, they will support you whatever your beliefs. I’m saying prayers and crossing everything for you that this treatment will be successful.

Thinking of you x

This says it all. It brought a tear to my eyes @peachgreen. My own husband died in ICU on a ventilator - no opportunity for goodbyes as it was all so sudden. Life goes on, although, as you say in a very different way to what you had planned. I never thought I could carry on without my beloved DH but here I am seven years later getting on with it. Missing him every day and in a different future from what we had planned, but I hope wherever he is, he’s proud of the way I picked myself up and carried on. I don’t think you ever get over the loss of your life partner, but you learn to live with it alongside wherever life takes you afterwards. So happy you’ve found joy alongside your loss and my thoughts are with you, OP and whoever else is in the same circumstances. You will find the strength you need.

So so sorry - which feels inadequate to say. Love to you all xx

I’m so sorry to hear this. I have no advice but want you to know we are here to hold your hand and to listen x

Hi OP,

I've come on to try and offer support and practical advice. I can see they've said it isn't encephalitis, have they explored ALL possibilities of autoimmune encephalitis? They need to scan his testicles to look for microscopic teratomas alongside any tiny tumour that could trigger this immune response. The immunotherapy and plasmapheresis is absolutely the right action to take urgently. Sadly I know a lot about the situation you're in and have been there first hand, my daughter's dad presented with sudden onset seizures and rapidly declined in the same way your partner is. He had an unknown type of autoimmune encephalitis, never found a cause. He was in a coma for 5 weeks but did eventually come out of it after the IVIG and plasmapheresis. So sorry you're going through this. I'll keep checking back to this thread to see if I can offer any further support xxx

I'm so sorry to hear this. All I can say is that I felt so encircled and comforted by my family and friends that it truly helped to get through it. I was also not prepared for my own emotional strength. I truly believe that we humans are equipped with the tools if you like to weather this, just as we are able to manage physical pain - it's part of our survival. Look after yourself. It's so important.

Sending you a hand hold OP. I'm so sorry xx

Offering you all best wishes and prayers. It is horrible. I hope all your friends and family encircle you and your children.

I know someone with an autoimmune condition that affects her breathing muscles. The plasma therapy has brought her back from the brink on more than one occasion. I’m with everyone here hoping your DH turns a corner.

Hoping for the very best after the latest update.

Oh, I am so sorry. What a horrible thing to go through. Thinking of you and your children 💐❤️😢

I am holding your hand. This is a terrible thing to have happened and I am thinking of you.

Bahemoth praying for you all x

Really hope the new treatment works for him! 💐

Im here to hand hold! I hope the new treatment helps dh! Have faith! You’re in my thoughts, I’m so sorry you are going through this.

Sending you hugs Op at this awful time 🌷

I can’t imagine how difficult this is and I’m so very sorry. the charities mentioned have been super helpful for people I know.

There is also evidence that when we are very ill and close to death hearing is still intact. Talk about happy memories, play music that he enjoys tell him what the children have been up to.

Another handhold OP 💐 praying for a miracle with you

Just seen the post about new treatment. Really hope it helps

I'm so sorry @Bahemoth

When I read your post, I did wonder if they looked for allergies.

He might not be out if the woods yet, but its not certain he will die, so please hold onto hope.

He may be able to hear you if you talk to him and that might make him fight more.

I lost my DH unexpectedly 8 years ago, so holding your hand xxx

Can recommend Widowed and Young - I found their Facebook group invaluable, and I also used their telephone advice service for a work-related issue. I'm so so sorry you're in this position. My son lost his dad when he was 4, and I won't lie and say it's been easy, but 3 years on, he is doing amazingly - play therapy helped an awful lot.

Whatever the outcome you will now that they have tried everything they can think of. I have no suggestions for you, just sympathy. Wishing you strength.

I'm so sorry. Hoping the treatment helps him and that he turns a corner.

❤️🙏