She’s got hours left

[Thby2023]

I’ve written on mumsnet before desperately searching for hope. On the 7th of December my mums face dropped slightly. It’s the 29th of February and she’s in a hospice unable to move because of this stupid fucking evil cancer in her head.

62 years old. My best friend. I speak to her everyday. I’ve just had a baby, my sister is 35 weeks pregnant and she is my son’s favourite person. We were told they were treating it, it hasn’t worked.

I don’t know how I’m going to get through this. My mum is everything to me. I see her everyday. How can life be so fucking cruel. She wants to live she wants to be here.

My mum died of brain cancer when she was 63. We had a rush wedding so she could come but she didn't get to meet either of my kids. Life can be so cruel. Sending you strength.

I’m really sorry. That is so so sad. I don’t want to offer any platitudes because it must all feel totally awful and unfair but I’m glad things are peaceful and everyone is being looked after.

I’m so sorry to read this. And for everyone who’s been through this. Your love for your mum shines through. Thinking of you all.

Sending so much love to you and your family ❤️

I'm glad you're there for each other. Your mum sounds lovely 💐thinking of you x

I'm very sorry you're going through this, so very sad. I'm in a similar situation. My mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer out of the blue at the end of last September. She's very sick now and probably hasn't got long left. I'm terrified about 'the end' and can't bear to think about her being frightened and in pain. I try to just take it a day at a time as otherwise it's all too overwhelming. Sadly, so many others also have to deal with these tragedies. Seems like there's no justice in life. Sending strength x.

I got a call in the early hours one night saying my DM had been admitted to hospital, the guy said much to my horror that she was 'not dying imminently!' I had no idea she was that ill, I had seen her earlier that day and she had seemed pretty much fine. She died the next night. I had a small DD at the time which was really difficult. I was in pieces for days/weeks afterwards, it was all so sudden.

Sending you very much love.

Cancer took my Dad very quickly. It's utterly shit.

Look after yourself

I am so glad you have your faith to comfort you. It really can help.

Wasn’t religious at all before this: not sure I am now but I believe she’s going somewhere really special to be with her dad and gran until we pass through. Right now though I’m so angry at god if he is real but maybe he needed an angel. Cause that’s exactly what she is. X

I'm so sorry to read this, sending love x

Sending a hug to you today OP.
Its so tough.
If you want something to listen to (once you're through the initial shock and horror) you could try Brian Dowling's podcast "Death Becomes Him" - he also lost his mum very suddenly and much too young and he talks about his own experiences. Especially in the episode where he talks to his own sisters (I think there are seven sisters and him as the only brother!).
It's a very soothing podcast to listen to and you might find it resonates with you.

She’s still here bless her. Me and the family seem calmer this evening. I know it won’t last but we’re enjoying it. She’s in a deep deep sleep but we keep talking to her and letting her know what we’re doing etc but she’s not really in there anymore.

My mum is the most wonderful incredible person. What you would hope and dream the perfect mum to he and the perfect grandma. I don’t know how we will get on without her but we will have to and keep her legacy. It is an honour to be her daughter x

She sounds so very wonderful OP. I’m so sorry this is happening and I know there’s nothing I can say to help…just sending you my prayers.

She’s gone x

So sorry. Much love to you and your family. It must all feel so horrible and surreal.

I’m so very very sorry to read this. ❤️

Heartbreaking. Sending you strength to do what feels so impossible right now. How wonderful to have had that relationship and how cruel that your precious Mum has been taken from you all 💕

So sorry. Is it strangely calm do you find now? And kind of unreal too. One minute they are alive and "there", the next they are there, but not there either.

Take your time to grieve. Do not do the "stiff upper lip" for anyone's sake, let it out for yourself. True friends (and of course your family who are going through the same thing), will hold you up, open their arms and wrap you up.

May your darling Mum rest in peace now.

I'm so very sorry for your loss

Ah OP, I am so sorry. I lost my mum (also my best friend) suddenly 3 years ago. I can very much empathise with the feelings you mentioned of 'what's the point?' but in time those feelings definitely lift.

But for now, the best you can do is huddle together as a family and allow yourselves to feel whatever you feel. Your mum sounds like she was an absolute gem and you will find a way to carry all her love forward.

I'm so sorry 😔

Just know that others understand.

I lost my mum to cancer, 6 months ago tomorrow. All very quickly happened.

Just wanted you to know I'm so sorry.

Xxxx

I'm so very sorry OP.

But what a privilege to have loved and been loved as she clearly did/was.