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I think we may be doing this!!!

113 replies

bookwormcrazy · 04/11/2023 21:38

So my DP has stage 4 cancer. He's been having treatment for the last 4 years, primary cancer appears to have been resolved (for now) but his liver metastasis is the part that keeps recurring. He had quite a massive surgery to remove 75% of his liver (and remove all the cancer again) in September and he has been placed back onto monitoring mode with a scan in Jan. we have been here before and it didn't turn out so great last time, hopeful this time that it all comes back clear.

But coming back to my actual post - 3 years ago he proposed. We have been together for 11 years, so a long time, through good and bad - cancer and non cancer related! We have decided to book 2 weeks in Jan to go to Vegas. It's our favourite place in the world and prior to his diagnosis we used to go 2 or 3 times a year, BUT..... this time, we are going to get married!!!!

We are fortunate in having the flexibility around work and flights etc that we can book relatively last minute (apart from the dog sitter). I would rather we book before the scan as he always gets upset around scan time but he's worried about booking incase his scan comes through for a date while we are planning to be away. Today he's accepted that maybe we book and then say he can't make the date and reschedule if it comes through for while we are planned to be away.

But - I feel it's progress that's he wants to make plans. He's always been up and down about waiting until it's all over, and even if it is - this won't be his last surgery as he will also be having a stoma reversal and he does get the absolute all clear. For him, it's not over until the stoma is gone.

I'm just so happy that this could actually be happening, regardless of everything else. 😄

We could be getting married in January! And while we are keeping it a secret from everyone so that we can elope - here I can shout it from the roof tops!

I just know something is going to happen to bite me in the arse and it's not going to happen but for now I want to be really excited!

OP posts:
PermanentTemporary · 04/11/2023 21:39

💐 💐 💐

Congratulations!

Burnamer · 04/11/2023 21:41

I wish you all the best - massive congrats for January

WriterHK · 04/11/2023 21:42

Massive congratulations, OP!! How exciting for you both! I’ve got my fingers crossed that nothing bites you anywhere and you go to Vegas and have an amazing time. 🥳🥳🥳

stayathomegardener · 04/11/2023 21:42

How exciting!
Congratulations to you both.

DowntonCrabby · 04/11/2023 21:44

That’s amazing OP, huge congratulations Flowers
Keep us up to date with the planning, how exciting!

PaminaMozart · 04/11/2023 21:48

Fingers crossed it all works out - congratulations!!!

Willowkins · 04/11/2023 21:51

Wonderful news Flowers

bookwormcrazy · 04/11/2023 22:09

Thanks everyone. I know I am not meant to be planning... you can't when you have cancer as anything can happen, but that's been the last 4 years of my life.

I can't help but want to plan this and get excited. Even though we don't have an exact date yet, we have agreed to wait until mid December and if his scan date hasn't come through, he has said we will book it regardless. I know he could change his mind but I am really going to push that we follow through with this and just do it!! Life's too short as we all know!

OP posts:
LakeTiticaca · 04/11/2023 22:22

🎊👏 Congratulations!!

Isometimeswonder · 04/11/2023 22:22

I understand your excitement OP. Husband is having cancer treatment, for several years now, but it is important to do things non-cancer too... and a wedding is a great thing!
Very pleased for you and hope we hear more x

SageRosemary · 04/11/2023 22:51

Lovely, congratulations, I hope you both will have a fabulous time.

I'm sure you are very busy with all that is going on so ask here or in Style & Beauty if you need help finding the perfect "rig-out" for your special day.

theduchessofspork · 04/11/2023 22:53

Congratulations 💒

theduchessofspork · 04/11/2023 22:54

SageRosemary · 04/11/2023 22:51

Lovely, congratulations, I hope you both will have a fabulous time.

I'm sure you are very busy with all that is going on so ask here or in Style & Beauty if you need help finding the perfect "rig-out" for your special day.

Ahh - I haven’t heard anyone say rig-out since my granny about 30 years ago. Excellent phrase.

bookwormcrazy · 04/11/2023 23:03

SageRosemary · 04/11/2023 22:51

Lovely, congratulations, I hope you both will have a fabulous time.

I'm sure you are very busy with all that is going on so ask here or in Style & Beauty if you need help finding the perfect "rig-out" for your special day.

I have already posted in Style and Beauty! I bought a dress yesterday evening from Coast which I am convinced is likely to be too small due to their small sizing but I think it would be perfect for our vegas wedding! The whole "not planning" thing is going well! 🙈

OP posts:
bookwormcrazy · 04/11/2023 23:07

So while I have been "not planning", I already know what chapel and what package I would like to and this is the dress I purchased yesterday - which I am convinced is going to be too small but I really, really want it to fit! Just need to wait for it to arrive to find out either way but I can't help but keep looking at it on the website. I REALLY want it to fit! Did I mention that?!? 😅

I think we may be doing this!!!
OP posts:
SkaneTos · 04/11/2023 23:09

Congratulations, OP!
That is a lovely lovely dress!

determinedtomakethiswork · 04/11/2023 23:11

That's a gorgeous dress. Just don't eat anything between now and January and it will fit! I'm so sorry about your partner. I hope everything goes as well as it can for him.

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 04/11/2023 23:14

This is lovely and just go for it and the dress is lovely and hope it fits you. It is just as hard on you as it is for him as am sure you are doing all the running about and looking after him also and trying to be the strong one. Hope you get your Vegas trip and even if for a week. Make sure you have some medical insurance also and is good to have things planned. Next thing is your shoes. So happy for you.

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 04/11/2023 23:15

SageRosemary and Theduchessofpork we would always use that term rig-out when we were small, real Irish saying, was granny Irish by any chance.

AgathaMystery · 04/11/2023 23:18

Congratulations!! Gorgeous dress too.

notapizzaeater · 04/11/2023 23:22

Awwww congratulations x

bookwormcrazy · 04/11/2023 23:22

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 04/11/2023 23:14

This is lovely and just go for it and the dress is lovely and hope it fits you. It is just as hard on you as it is for him as am sure you are doing all the running about and looking after him also and trying to be the strong one. Hope you get your Vegas trip and even if for a week. Make sure you have some medical insurance also and is good to have things planned. Next thing is your shoes. So happy for you.

I know the perfect shoes for the dress from M&S but waiting to see if the dress fits before I buy them! I don't want to jinx myself, just in case I have to send this dress back.

I have been the strong one for 4 years and it's tiring, so tiring. I will never stop but I think I need this, something exciting and non "cancer" related.

We have already scouted out a good insurance company that we used to go on holiday last year. I personally don't care how much it costs, I just want to do this!

OP posts:
SageRosemary · 04/11/2023 23:23

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 04/11/2023 23:15

SageRosemary and Theduchessofpork we would always use that term rig-out when we were small, real Irish saying, was granny Irish by any chance.

Yes, Irish here, a rig-out is what my auntie in her nineties would call it, it doesn't have to be a frock, and suggests the whole outfit top to toe, dress/skirt/trousers, blouse, jacket/cardigan, shoes, hat, gloves etc!

ETA - alway preceded by the word lovely. She had a lovely rig-out!

SageRosemary · 04/11/2023 23:24

@bookwormcrazy lovely dress, keeping all fingers and toes crossed that it will be perfect on you!

Alltheyearround · 04/11/2023 23:28

Woo hoo!

This is a lovely post to read.

Lovely dress and hope the 'not planning' continues on its happy way all the way.

Really excited for you. Keep us posted.