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I think we may be doing this!!!

113 replies

bookwormcrazy · 04/11/2023 21:38

So my DP has stage 4 cancer. He's been having treatment for the last 4 years, primary cancer appears to have been resolved (for now) but his liver metastasis is the part that keeps recurring. He had quite a massive surgery to remove 75% of his liver (and remove all the cancer again) in September and he has been placed back onto monitoring mode with a scan in Jan. we have been here before and it didn't turn out so great last time, hopeful this time that it all comes back clear.

But coming back to my actual post - 3 years ago he proposed. We have been together for 11 years, so a long time, through good and bad - cancer and non cancer related! We have decided to book 2 weeks in Jan to go to Vegas. It's our favourite place in the world and prior to his diagnosis we used to go 2 or 3 times a year, BUT..... this time, we are going to get married!!!!

We are fortunate in having the flexibility around work and flights etc that we can book relatively last minute (apart from the dog sitter). I would rather we book before the scan as he always gets upset around scan time but he's worried about booking incase his scan comes through for a date while we are planning to be away. Today he's accepted that maybe we book and then say he can't make the date and reschedule if it comes through for while we are planned to be away.

But - I feel it's progress that's he wants to make plans. He's always been up and down about waiting until it's all over, and even if it is - this won't be his last surgery as he will also be having a stoma reversal and he does get the absolute all clear. For him, it's not over until the stoma is gone.

I'm just so happy that this could actually be happening, regardless of everything else. 😄

We could be getting married in January! And while we are keeping it a secret from everyone so that we can elope - here I can shout it from the roof tops!

I just know something is going to happen to bite me in the arse and it's not going to happen but for now I want to be really excited!

OP posts:
Mollyplop999 · 12/01/2024 16:57

Many congratulations to you both. Have the most fantastic time!

bookwormcrazy · 14/01/2024 18:57

Thanks everyone. I have been quite busy so not had much down time to look at my phone, but I appreciate the love. It's starting to sink in. Probably even more so when we pick up the wedding certificate and photos next week.

Ps - no call from MacMillan yet so we are taking that as a good sign that there is nothing to tell us. 🎉

OP posts:
bookwormcrazy · 14/01/2024 18:59

Tilllly · 12/01/2024 16:45

@bookwormcrazy

Can I ask who you got your holiday insurance with please?
I have stage three and am shopping around for some

We did our research as normal insurance was coming up in the thousands. However I think it was Insurewith that we eventually went with. It was less than £100 which was amazing. They do appear to be a specialist.

OP posts:
Tilllly · 14/01/2024 19:00

Thanks ☺️

bookwormcrazy · 27/02/2024 19:23

Just following up on this thread. I am so glad we did this when we did and I appreciate the support from everyone.

Cancer has a way of reminding you to seize every moment you can and to enjoy life whenever you can.

Unfortunately his scans have come back to show that despite the extreme liver op, it has regrown with the cancer which means we are back to square one. He should be starting back on chemo within the next month.

OP posts:
SageRosemary · 27/02/2024 19:30

Oh, @bookwormcrazy , I am so sorry to read your update. I hope his treatment goes well. Thinking of you both, stay strong.

Tilllly · 27/02/2024 19:39

@bookwormcrazy ah bollocks. That wasn't the plan
Am sorry to hear that

Dexterrolledoffthesofa · 27/02/2024 20:06

I'm so sorry to hear that x

Willowkins · 27/02/2024 20:46

I'm so sorry to hear that elusive safety zone is still just out of reach. You're right to live your best life every day.

ooooohnoooooo · 01/03/2024 07:45

@bookwormcrazy I'm sorry to hear that. Sending unmumsnetty hugs Flowers

whateveryouwantmetosay · 21/04/2024 07:17

Any updates @bookwormcrazy? How is your DH doing?

bookwormcrazy · 21/04/2024 09:05

whateveryouwantmetosay · 21/04/2024 07:17

Any updates @bookwormcrazy? How is your DH doing?

Thanks for asking. He's now back to having chemo every 2 weeks until at least July where they will reassess to see if they can do an 3rd of to remove what's left.

Unfortunately they did tell us that it's likely to be a process that he's probably going to keep going through all the time his body can handle it or until something new comes up that they can try. The best chance he had to remove it all completely was the operation he had last year which didn't stop the cancer returning.

As you can imagine, his mental health is rock bottom. I will be forever grateful that we took the opportunity to go away and get married when we did. It does sometimes feel like that may have been the last time we were truly happy with everything that's happened since.

OP posts:
Shiningout · 21/04/2024 12:48

Cancer is a cunt. Sorry to hear your latest update op but just shows now precious time is, you made the right decision at the right time to get married and you'll always have those memories.

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