My beautiful sister

[Run4it2]

I adore her. She had melanoma in COVID, they said they got it all etc, and it's back. Looking like it will be pretty quick now.

How confusing for you all.

if she has a DNR/terminal diagnosis they should not have intubated.

if they have, and are still talking about radiotherapy and treatment, then she isn’t end of life.

do you have a liaison you could talk to to clarify what’s going on?

It is confusing. My middle sister and brother in law are talking with the doctors. I met her doctor on Thursday - he basically said they are still trying things but it's not looking good. I'm glad they sedated her because it was clear she felt grim. The intubation thing surprised me a bit, but I guess if she's now breathing more easily and is unconscious itls better than her being intermittently awake and struggling. I think they'll probably not opt to do the radiotherapy if I'm honest - it's just that the consultant is not on call for the weekend, and it's his shout. I think time is very limited.

Thinking of you all, Run4It.

Thank you - brother in law is calling the hospital once her consultant has seen her, so will find out what today brings. I know it's not positive, so I'd rather she went sooner than later, but then that feels like wishing her away, which I don't want either.

Unfortunately if she’s intubated things will be prolonged. And there now needs to be an active decision to withdraw the ventilation rather than things naturally taking their course.

which is why I think someone needs to be asking for clarification. Intubation is not the normal procedure for end of life.

good luck with it.

Thanks - they did tests this morning and we're waiting for results. I'll pass that on to my brother in law as something to raise. The issue might be just that it was the weekend, and lack of continuity of care, but I'm glad she's sedated. As you say theres the risk that intubation prolongs things which I don't think is desirable, but at least she isn't struggling now

The usual course would be adequate sedation when someone who is end of life is distressed. Certainly not ICU and intubation. I would be wondering about the medical decisions that are been taken.

I have just read your updates & didn't want to read & run, so many memories come flooding back.
Much love to you & all your family 💕

Thinking of you, your sister and your family 🌹

So very sorry this is happening, it's so hard for the whole family. Sending love and strength. xx

Thank you all so much. They did a scan late afternoon to see whether immunotherapy had done anything - it hadn't, and her organs were beginning to fail, so they let us say our goodbyes and then extubated her. She didn't breathe on her own after that, but he was surrounded by those who love her.

Thank you all for keeping me company and giving me your support. If you fancy it, please raise a glass (red wine or prosecco), a mug (oat milk latte) or do a spider dance to the magnificent Evelyn xx

So sorry
💐🥂🍷

So sorry for your loss OP. Sending magnificent wishes to magnificent Evelyn and to you all xx

I'm so sorry for your loss, may she rest in peace in the Glory of our Lord.

I’m so so sorry to read this. Sending love and raising a large glass to Evelyn 🍷

I’m so sorry for your loss @Run4it2. It sounds like it was a quick but peaceful end for your sister. Sending so much love. I must have missed the post about the spider dance but that sounds right up my street so I’ll read back.

Rest peacefully Evelyn. 💐

An oat milk latte is my drink of choice so I will definitely raise my mug to Evelyn the next time I have it. I am so sorry for your loss. She sounded truly wonderful. Thinking of you all.

I hadn't mentioned the spider dance - us three sisters just used to dance like spiders (known as a spider dance).

Me, middle sis and brother in law did a last spider dance with her before they extubated her - to teenage mutant ninja turtles as that was the first spidery song my sister could find on Spotify.

I am so sorry. I will raise a glass tonight.

Sending you love xxx

I'm so sorry. Rest in peace Evelyn, what a wonderful sister you were to your lovely sister posting here. @Run4it2 I hope the coming days are filled with love and happy memories to help you through the grief. Your love and laughter with your sister shines through and I hope that love and laughter along with your memories give you all strength

So sorry, may her memory be a blessing. RIP Evelyn, you will never know but so many of us were willing you on.

How privileged you must feel to have been with your dear sister as she spent her last moments on this earth. So glad she was surrounded with love and joy.

I wish you everything for the road ahead. I am on that road myself and I often think back to those last moments of my loved ones life. So precious. And I'm so proud to have been there.

x