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Pancreatic and liver cancer

1000 replies

WilsonMilson · 17/05/2023 22:49

Diagnosed today. I can’t believe it. I thought I had gallstones. The liver tumour is already 7cm, I can’t even remember what the pancreatic one was, it’s on the head of the pancreas. They did more CT scans to see further spread but I don’t have those results yet.
I just am in a blur.
My pain has been getting really bad the last few days and I’m worried this is it. I will have a meeting probably next week to discuss the plan for treatment -if any.

I’m not ready. I’m 45. I have a son and a lovely husband. I have elderly parents.

I’ve gone into hyper organisation mode. It’s madness really, but tonight I bought birthday cards for my son, husband and mum for the next 4 years. I’ve been transferring money to different accounts to make it more accessible. I’ve emailed my son’s school, I’ve started writing to do lists.

My mum is flying in on Friday and will stay with me. I’m just so devastated and so sorry for my poor son and husband. I cannot believe this.

OP posts:
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Tequilamockinbird · 19/05/2023 17:38

OP, I'm another one who has been thinking of you since I read this thread yesterday. So pleased that you've come back to post, and also that you got to the beach today.

We're all here with you and holding your hand. Please remember that and take strength from us.

Sending love, hope and strength to you and your family.

Fibonacci13 · 19/05/2023 17:40

One of my favourite quotes is something like this 'I may not be able to do great things but I can do small things in a great way'

Winterisalmostover · 19/05/2023 17:46

@WilsonMilson I really admire your eloquence. You write so beautifully about the most horrific diagnosis. Please do keep these words coming. I'm sure this thread will help others in the future.

Ollifer · 19/05/2023 18:04

So glad you came back op. Hope you've had a peaceful day at the beach it looks beautiful. Not sure if this will be of any comfort, but my parents passed away when I was 21, and almost ten years later I still feel them with me every day, still talk about them to friends and family as if they are still alive, I am still surrounded by so many loving memories of my childhood and younger years when we were all together. I don't have many pictures as this was before the selfies era but everything I have is still so vivid in my mind, heart and soul. So even if you depart physically from your family please don't think you'll ever be 'gone' or 'lost'. You'll live as long as those who loved you are still alive. ❤️

uncomfortablydumb53 · 19/05/2023 18:25

So glad you got to the beach
Beautiful view

Thetoasterhasbroken · 19/05/2023 18:50

I am so sorry WilsonMilson, I read your original post and was hoping amongst all hope there would be better news for you. I pray for you and your loved ones that the doctors from the MDT will come up with a good plan for you. So glad you got to the beach. I too live by the sea and it’s so very grounding. Like everyone on here, I will be thinking about you often. Good luck and wishing you the very best.

username100001 · 19/05/2023 18:52

You will be in my thoughts and prayers every day. We are all here with you and listening when you need us ♥️

Georgiepud · 19/05/2023 19:32

How devastating for you and your family. I'm so sorry.

TheRealHousewife · 19/05/2023 19:38

Sending loving strength to you all @WilsonMilson Together you CAN beat this beast! ❤️

Bluemat · 19/05/2023 20:20

Sending you so many positive vibes @WilsonMilson you've been in my thoughts

Haveallthesongsbeenwritten · 19/05/2023 20:41

I have been thinking about you since I read this. I think you are in a lot of people’s thoughts and hope it brings you some comfort. Keep us posted.

Fartughtyred · 19/05/2023 20:56

@WilsonMilson Another who has been thinking of you since yesterday but I have struggled to find the words.

Sending you much love Wilson, and I have and will continue to hold you and your family in my prayers, for healing, strength and the Lords' peace for the days ahead. So good to hear that you got to the beach today, the sea has always been my first instinct in times of great stress and I hope that you enjoyed a moment of quiet and calm to gather your thoughts, despite the circumstances:

Your dignity, love for your family and theirs for you shines from your posts and there is absolutely nothing that could ever touch or change that. I hope that certainty will help to carry you all through the days ahead and that you will be given the very best of care and treatment by the specialists. 💐

John 14:27 "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid"

deuxgarcons · 19/05/2023 21:39

Thinking of you and everything you are going through. You asked for quotes and this resonates with me

"Above all what matters is not to lose the joy of living in the fear of dying"

This was Maggie Keswick Jencks when she founded Maggie's Centres

I hope you are able to make memories and have some joy with your loved ones for as long as you are able, which I hope is longer than you imagine.
💐

echt · 20/05/2023 04:04

@WilsonMilson A lurker on your other thread, and so very sorry to hear about your news.

You asked for quotes, and a dear friend, whose cancer has recently returned emailed me to welcome a return visit by me to the UK, ending: "In the meantime, enjoy life."
It pierced me in its characteristic understatement, not an injunction or motto, but a sincere wish for me.

You write so eloquently of your situation, and I wish you all the best.

teezletangler · 20/05/2023 05:59

I am so glad to see you back on this thread, OP.

fancyfrogs · 20/05/2023 06:06

Thinking of you and your family

waterlego · 20/05/2023 11:17

I’ve been thinking of you a lot @WilsonMilson. I hope your pain is manageable, or if not, that you’re able to access some good pain relief. I’m sure 111 or local out of hours service would be able to prescribe something stronger for someone in your situation if needed.

I hope the sun is shining where you are today and that you are able to enjoy being in the moment with your loved ones. 💐

WilsonMilson · 20/05/2023 11:48

Hi everyone. We had a nice evening last night, we played Cluedo and watched Gogglebox. It’s funny how just doing normal things is a comfort. My concentration is poor but I’m trying very hard to be present and to still laugh at small things. My mum couldn’t get the hang of cluedo at all and we all ended up having a real laugh about it.

I got Dexamethasone yesterday for inflammation and it has helped some with the back pain and has given me more appetite. Im feeling nauseous now though and that’s quite tough, my arms and legs feel really shaky too. The waiting for the outcome to the MDT meeting is honest to God torture.

My husband is the most amazing man on earth, I could never have a greater comfort than him. I didn’t have a great night, I am suffering from horrendous night sweats and don’t seem to be able to sleep for very long, maybe 4 hours total in small bursts. The night sweats only came on about a week ago, the speed of it scares me.

I keep thinking that I can’t believe I waited this long thinking it was just back pain and gastritis, I even thought it was my high waisted jeans being too tight. I regret so much not catching this sooner. I am going round and circles with regret here and not having investigations done sooner. I need to stop the self torture of regret as it’s eating me up. Trying to stay present.

Today we are going to try to go to the beach again, it’s only 20 minutes by car.

I am trying to stay off my phone. I keep searching up diets and alternative therapies I can do that may help. I don’t know whether to do Keto or plant based, but I don’t want to lose weight any faster, eating is a real chore enough. I’ve even looked at getting medical cannabis, but it all feels like clutching at straws. There are other things that people talk about, lots of Facebook groups touting cures, but I feel like I’m just going round in circles and wasting precious time I could be with family.

My son is coping, he is talking and cuddling me. He is clearly beside himself, but he has support. His friends and their parents are being wonderful.

I feel like I need to surrender myself to this to find peace, but I have such a lot of resistance. I go between being determined to fight and win, to then simply being utterly defeated and curling up as if I’m gone already. The waves of emotions are extreme and I’m nowhere near acceptance. I’m hiding these from my son, but it’s very very hard. I had so many plans.

My husband is trying to be very positive and hold on to faith. I’m up and down with that.

Rambling a bit now, sorry. I’m still reading all your quotes and messages.

OP posts:
waterlego · 20/05/2023 12:04

Oh @WilsonMilson, my heart goes out to you. I can only imagine how difficult acceptance must be- I know I would find that very difficult indeed and I don’t know that I would manage it. You’re totally justified in feeling angry and feeling that this is unfair- it really isn’t fair at all. You and your husband and son are all too young to be going through this. I’m glad your son has plenty of support and that your husband is being so wonderful for you too.

Your evening last night sounds like a lot of fun. These are the little, ordinary moments that make up our lives. The little things really turn out to be the big things, in the end. Hope you have a wonderful time at the beach today.

notapizzaeater · 20/05/2023 12:07

When my DH was told his cancer was terminal I googled everything too, it's human nature.

My Best friend dragged me kicking and screaming to the local hospice - I sat there for two hours just crying, was so so Cathartic.

The waiting is the absolute worse bit once you know what they are doing then you can start making plans around it.

Enjoy the sea x

Bluemat · 20/05/2023 12:09

One day at a time @WilsonMilson

snufflinghedgehog · 20/05/2023 12:20

I don't know if this has been already mentioned but NIPANC (Northern Ireland Pancreatic Cancer charity ) offer support to those diagnosed and their families
Thinking of you all x

RuthTopp · 20/05/2023 12:31

@WilsonMilson

I'm sure you realise you now have ( probably ) at least 100+ new friends all routing for you and hoping you only good days.

Tifalockhart · 20/05/2023 12:45

I couldn’t sleep after reading your thread last night. It’s just beyond comprehension sometimes how life can be so cruel and unfair.

I wish could think of some wise words but all I can say is that I am so so sorry you have to go through this and I hope that you are able to find moments of comfort and peace.

SarahSmith2023 · 20/05/2023 14:13

@WilsonMilson

i hope you are currently enjoying the beach 🏖

Ramble away! I love to read your 'chatter' !! Anyway, it's YOUR thread & we're not in any danger of running out of internet!! Blather away xx

I had a day out on the balcony, sitting in the sun, planned, it was supposed to be sunny here and my grumpy neighbour is away (yayyyy) but the sun is playing peek-a boo with the clouds. A nice day for walking along the beach, if only it wasn't 2 hours away.🙇🏻‍♀️

xx

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