Page 7 | Pancreatic and liver cancer

WilsonMilson · 2023-05-17T21:49:34+00:00

Diagnosed today. I can’t believe it. I thought I had gallstones. The liver tumour is already 7cm, I can’t even remember what the pancreatic one was, it’s on the head of the pancreas. They did more CT scans to see further spread but I don’t have those results yet. I just am in a blur. My pain has been getting really bad the last few days and I’m worried this is it. I will have a meeting probably next week to discuss the plan for treatment -if any. I’m not ready. I’m 45. I have a son and a lovely husband. I have elderly parents. I’ve gone into hyper organisation mode. It’s madness really, but tonight I bought birthday cards for my son, husband and mum for the next 4 years. I’ve been transferring money to different accounts to make it more accessible. I’ve emailed my son’s school, I’ve started writing to do lists. My mum is flying in on Friday and will stay with me. I’m just so devastated and so sorry for my poor son and husband. I cannot believe this.

standardduck · 19/05/2023 11:30

Enjoy your time at the beach.

You sound like a fighter and you are so brave. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers

Izzy24 · 19/05/2023 11:30

Hoping you’re at the beach. Also hoping that you will have a treatment plan very soon. A good idea by a PP to ask via consultant’s secretary. You are an individual, not a statistic so try to stay in the moment if you possibly can.

MarpleFan · 19/05/2023 11:31

I am so so sorry. Sending you and your family much love and strength; you are in my thoughts and prayers.

NeedToChangeName · 19/05/2023 11:33

Offering support from across the water in Scotland

wanteddeadoralive18 · 19/05/2023 11:37

Sending love and strength to you and your family ❤️💐

Wishimaywishimight · 19/05/2023 11:39

When my dad was sick last year I found this online and printed it off, I still read it from time to time and somehow how it helped, and continues to help, my mindset a little so, for what it may be worth to you @WilsonMilson here it is;

"All shall be well" - Julian of Norwich

"And all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well"

This declaration that "all manner of thing shall be well" does not eliminate misfortune, sickness or death. It is pointing to what all the respected, wise ones say about the ability to find peace, and even joy, in the eye of the storm - to come to trust that there is something that transcends chaos and impermanence.

Practicing accepting whatever comes is often misunderstood to mean being passive or not taking action. This is incorrect. Acceptance is the knowledge that opening to what is creates the ability to act more effectively, with clarity. Saying "yes" to whatever storm hits is an ongoing practice.

Just to identify things beyond control, and let them go, is transforming.

Hiddencomic · 19/05/2023 11:45

I’m so glad to see you posted again this morning and I hope you’ve made it to the beach. Life can be unbelievably cruel sometimes, you are in my thoughts. Wishing you as much precious time with your family as possible 💐

Crikeyalmighty · 19/05/2023 11:46

@carben I was going to write but you said it so beautifully. Thinking of you OP

ticktock19 · 19/05/2023 11:50

Sending you and your family so much love, strength and hope OP

Original poster

WilsonMilson · 19/05/2023 11:52

Wishimaywishimight · 19/05/2023 11:39

When my dad was sick last year I found this online and printed it off, I still read it from time to time and somehow how it helped, and continues to help, my mindset a little so, for what it may be worth to you @WilsonMilson here it is;

"All shall be well" - Julian of Norwich

"And all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well"

This declaration that "all manner of thing shall be well" does not eliminate misfortune, sickness or death. It is pointing to what all the respected, wise ones say about the ability to find peace, and even joy, in the eye of the storm - to come to trust that there is something that transcends chaos and impermanence.

Practicing accepting whatever comes is often misunderstood to mean being passive or not taking action. This is incorrect. Acceptance is the knowledge that opening to what is creates the ability to act more effectively, with clarity. Saying "yes" to whatever storm hits is an ongoing practice.

Just to identify things beyond control, and let them go, is transforming.

Thank you, that’s comforting. Any other verses or words of wisdom so comforting. My mum is with me now.

OP posts:

mcmooberry · 19/05/2023 11:53

Oh my goodness I am so sorry and know I would feel exactly as you do. I pray you can be the miracle outlier who defies the odds and makes a recovery from this. Maybe there will be a trial drug or immunotherapy that can be tried if the Whipple procedure isn't going to help. Thinking of you xxx

Lovesacake · 19/05/2023 12:02

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, I’m not usually one for praying but I am praying hard for you today x

Thisweeksname · 19/05/2023 12:21

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers OP ♥️ I hope your team get a good plan together. You can fight this.

When my Aunty was ill, she would make lots of small plans (a trip to the beach, a day at a garden centre, gardens, shops, playing a board game, visiting a friend) so she had something to aim for and to look forward to.
I know your appetite is low but any time you fancy a few bites of something, go for it whatever food it is.

It may seem impossible not to think about your condition but when you’re particularly anxious at night or before bed, it might help to lose yourself in a show/film/book anything that might let you escape for a bit.

sunsunsunsunx · 19/05/2023 12:24

Oh
@WilsonMilson I have no words.

As others have said, after MDT hopefully you will have a treatment plan in place. There is a cancer support thread in general health and the ladies on there are so lovely and supportive and been through/going through similar. I hope you managed to get to the beach. You and your family are in my prayers.

Original poster

WilsonMilson · 19/05/2023 12:38

I got there!

OP posts:

Retire50 · 19/05/2023 12:39

@WilsonMilson I didn’t know whether to write this to you but as you’ve said you would welcome verses I thought it might help. I was thinking of you yesterday during my walk and hoping you were getting the care you need. I went a different way to normal on my walk and as I sat on a bench to rest I noticed an inscription on the bench in memory of a young woman that had passed away at 25 years old, it read,

‘Don’t cry because it has ended. Smile because it happened.’

Thank you for your words on the importance of hugging and showing our love more I need to do this in my life and I will.

I hope the MDT get back to you today with some uplifting news about your treatment plan.

bellav · 19/05/2023 12:39

Good for you! Enjoy yourself as much as you can.

notapizzaeater · 19/05/2023 12:43

So pleased you managed to get there 🥰. Enjoy the day, take lots of photos and breath !

Original poster

WilsonMilson · 19/05/2023 12:43

Retire50 · 19/05/2023 12:39

@WilsonMilson I didn’t know whether to write this to you but as you’ve said you would welcome verses I thought it might help. I was thinking of you yesterday during my walk and hoping you were getting the care you need. I went a different way to normal on my walk and as I sat on a bench to rest I noticed an inscription on the bench in memory of a young woman that had passed away at 25 years old, it read,

‘Don’t cry because it has ended. Smile because it happened.’

Thank you for your words on the importance of hugging and showing our love more I need to do this in my life and I will.

I hope the MDT get back to you today with some uplifting news about your treatment plan.

Thank you. I always think we are given the messages we need. My husband is reading this thread too - he might take over from me at some point, and he found that very poignant.

OP posts:

LarkRize · 19/05/2023 12:56

Another who came on here and was inspired by your wonderful follow-up post @WilsonMilson. There is a small army of anonymous strangers on here who nevertheless are sending you so much love and all our good wishes to you and your family.

GoodLies · 19/05/2023 12:58

How lovely to be at the beach and doing something you wanted to do. I have also been thinking about you since I saw your thread the other night. What a horrendous shock you have had. I am so pleased you managed to come back to the thread.

rainbowstardrops · 19/05/2023 13:08

Oh my heart goes out to you and your family. It really does

Yougavemesixtysummers · 19/05/2023 13:08

Hi @WilsonMilson, I grew up in New Zealand and this is something I read a while back and found really meaningful at the time, I thought I'd share it with you.

Kia hora te marino, kia whakapapa pounamu te moana, kia tere te kaarohirohi a, ko tou hoa haere, ko te rangimarie.

'May the calm be widespread, may the ocean glisten like greenstone, may the shimmer of light dance across your pathway and may peace itself be your travelling companion'

Sending you and your family love and strength xx

Alondra · 19/05/2023 13:11

WilsonMilson · 18/05/2023 06:17

i haven’t slept all night. I keep thinking if I had just followed it up last year and pushed for more tests when I first got sore and got fobbed off with gastritis. I could have caught it much sooner.

As it is, a 7cm liver secondary tumour is very big, let alone as a primary. I’ve really gone downhill in health and up in pain even in the last few days and I’m very very very scared by the speed of the progression. I know I need to sleep but I’m in hyper overdrive and simply cannot settle. I fall asleep for 10 mins and jump awake again.

I just want to start any treatment as soon as I can. I wish so much it had been found earlier, I have so much I want to do with my family, me and my husband have so many plans, my son is just 17. He hugged me today and he never does that. We haven’t told him yet, though he knows I’m ‘having some tests’. He knows something is up. God I cannot believe this.

You are dealing with the shock of a life sentence. I'm so sorry OP. There is nothing you can do except following medical advice and prepare.

IntheHillsofMarmilla · 19/05/2023 13:12

My heart entirely goes out to you. It is a journey my family is familiar with. Words that helped me when going through a very difficult time were 'Respond to this moment as though you had chosen it'.

I think it can help with mindset, acceptance and a degree of mental peace and comfort.

I will be thinking of you and praying for you and your family. Sending love.