Pancreatic and liver cancer

[WilsonMilson]

Diagnosed today. I can’t believe it. I thought I had gallstones. The liver tumour is already 7cm, I can’t even remember what the pancreatic one was, it’s on the head of the pancreas. They did more CT scans to see further spread but I don’t have those results yet.
I just am in a blur.
My pain has been getting really bad the last few days and I’m worried this is it. I will have a meeting probably next week to discuss the plan for treatment -if any.

I’m not ready. I’m 45. I have a son and a lovely husband. I have elderly parents.

I’ve gone into hyper organisation mode. It’s madness really, but tonight I bought birthday cards for my son, husband and mum for the next 4 years. I’ve been transferring money to different accounts to make it more accessible. I’ve emailed my son’s school, I’ve started writing to do lists.

My mum is flying in on Friday and will stay with me. I’m just so devastated and so sorry for my poor son and husband. I cannot believe this.

Nothing like your own bed and home. Absolutely the best decision

Love to all, sounds like you have a wonderful supportive family 💕

I’m so glad you can go home, I really hope it brings you some relief. Thinking of you x

Hope you slept well last night. Enjoy a bit of home time before the op.

Thinking of you this morning, praying for your scan and that you get to go home ins timely manner. And that tomorrow's MDT are able to formulate and enact a plan quickly to get you moved and stented quickly to help you feel so much better.

Praying for Kerr and Jacob too, who sound wonderful and the love you have for each other palpable.

Praying finally for the Peace of the Lord which transcends all understanding, and for His healing x

Pamela, I've only posted on this thread a couple of times but check in every day. So sorry to hear of your pain - I'm hoping you have a hospice team involved as they are the absolute masters of pain control, you shouldn't have to cope with being in agony all the time. My name is Katie - sending you so much love to you and your family from the south west. X

Good morning Pamela. I hope you got some sleep and that all goes well today x

I think a night at home may boost your spirits

In one of your posts, you said you felt guilty that your son is so upset. I'm not dismissing your feelings, but I hope you know that you have no reason to feel guilty. It's an awful situation for the whole family, but nobody's fault. It's just totally shit, and it's OK to be distressed about that

x

Morning Pamela. I’m really glad Kerr was able to stay with you overnight, and I hope you both managed to get some rest at some point. If not, at least you are together and holding each other up. I imagine you must be so keen to get home now, and I hope that happens today without too much delay. Thinking of you, as I do every day. X

You are surrounded by love Pamela and I sincerely hope you had a good night at home.
Much love from the North West

Sorry meant ...have..ie tonight x

We had to travel to get my DH's stent as well, a plane trip for us and for his subsequent op but it is well worth it, you will feel so much better. My DH's bum is like a saggy 80 year old's too! He's slowly starting to put on weight but at 6 foot plus he currently weighs 73kg so he's pretty skeletal! ❤

Hi Pamela. If it hasn’t happened already, I would recommend that you ask your consultant for a referral to your local hospice. They are not just places where people go to die. They are specialists in symptom management, e.g. pain, nausea, vomiting, low appetite, constipation, and will work alongside the hospital to support your current treatments. They will also provide emotional support for you, Kerr and Jacob. Best wishes, K.

Hello. I've only just stumbled across your thread but I wanted to say that I'll be thinking of you and sending good wishes from Wales. Your username made me smile - hello all! :) I hope you get home to your own bath and bed as quickly as possible. I had a long stay in hospital a few years back and I know just what youmean about the smells - I had severe nausea and it was just unbearable. Thinking of your son as well. Mine is 16 and still very much a mum's boy so I can imagine how hard that must be.

Sending huge love your way. I have a friend going through something similar. She's been on maintenence chemo for 3 years now and is doing really well. Thinking of you and your lovely family. Xxxx

I've been thinking of you and your poor son every day since I first read your thread.
I'm so glad you get to go home today and I hope the meeting on Friday is constructive. Sending love and best wishes to you, Kerr and Jacob xx

Hi Pamela, sending much love and strength to you and to your wonderful Kerr and Jacob. I truly wish and pray that today's scan brings something positive to your situation and that your pain is soon eased.

Enjoy every moment of being back in the warmth and love of your own home and bed. Debs

My thoughts are with you and your family. Hope you get home today will be much better for you to be with family able to have relaxing bath and sleep in own bed.

Sending love and light to you Pamela, Kerr and Jacob. From Jacqui in Melbourne, Australia x

Just checking in again to wish you a relaxing bath and a good sleep tonight
I hope the MDT decides the best plan to keep you comfortable tomorrow
Sending love Judith from Wiltshire

Pamela, I also regularly check in on your post like many others. You do indeed write so well. I am sorry you are having such a terrible time of it and hope you have more comfortable days ahead. I hope you’re now at home and enjoying your home comforts as best as can be. Sending well wishes and strength x

Pamela your story and your words have had such an impact on so many.
I too am one of the ones that have been thinking of you and your family everyday since your first post.
Sending your way all the love, positive thoughts and prayers. Hope you are comfortable at home now and managed to take a nice relaxing bath.

I have only seen your thread today.
I am so sorry you are going through this.
I wish I had wise words, but I just want to say I am thinking of you and your family. Xx

Day 8 of the Novena. You are in my thoughts many, many times a day. I too have a son called Jacob. He’s a lovely son as is your Jacob. Wishing you every possible blessing and comfort.

How lovely you're getting to go home tomorrow! Your own bathroom & bed, complete bliss!!

Showering takes less energy than a bath. Just keep the temp tepid!! Low blood pressure, we don't want you having a fall!!

im so pleased you have your boys & your Mum at home. I live alone, I wanted to go home, but I was a bit scared too.

let us know when you're settled at home, even if all you can manage is 🏡

much love xx
(still Katie & still in Hampshire)

Thinking of you this morning Pamela. Temperature has dropped where I am so hopefully you also will enjoy feeling cooler and more comfortable.
And there's nothing like being back in your own bed 🌸🌸🌸