Pancreatic and liver cancer

[WilsonMilson]

Diagnosed today. I can’t believe it. I thought I had gallstones. The liver tumour is already 7cm, I can’t even remember what the pancreatic one was, it’s on the head of the pancreas. They did more CT scans to see further spread but I don’t have those results yet.
I just am in a blur.
My pain has been getting really bad the last few days and I’m worried this is it. I will have a meeting probably next week to discuss the plan for treatment -if any.

I’m not ready. I’m 45. I have a son and a lovely husband. I have elderly parents.

I’ve gone into hyper organisation mode. It’s madness really, but tonight I bought birthday cards for my son, husband and mum for the next 4 years. I’ve been transferring money to different accounts to make it more accessible. I’ve emailed my son’s school, I’ve started writing to do lists.

My mum is flying in on Friday and will stay with me. I’m just so devastated and so sorry for my poor son and husband. I cannot believe this.

Hi Pamela, hoping for a better day for you today. Yesterday sounded torrid. You're such an amazing and courageous person. I don't post much, but I think about you every day ❤️

Reading how distraught your son was last night brought me to tears. I hope you have a brighter day today

Sending love, Pamela. I truly hope that this is a temporary 'glitch' and that they can do something to get you back home and then onto a treatment plan.

Good morning Pamela. Hoping it's a bit cooler for you today and that your symptoms are under control x

Thinking of you Pamela. I hope they are able to make you comfortable and get some control over your symptoms today.

I am so sorry you are going through all of this. And your family too. Sorry I don’t have anything useful to say x

and indeed, fuck cancer.

Sending hugest love and strength ❤️

You write beautifully Pamela. Sending you love and strength x

Dear Pamela.

So glad you can come on here and talk to us all. There are lots of people with experience to help and support you and I think all of us will join you in a hearty shout of ' fuck you , cancer'.

Although distressing it's good that your son is letting his emotions out, and it shows such a strength of your relationship that he has the confidence to do that. Absolutely heartbreaking though. Please take heart that he can express his emotions and talk too, these fundamental skills will be his friend over the coming months. Many young men struggle with this, so yet again it shows what bloody brilliant parents you are 😊

I've looked up some specific resources that may be of use for your DS. I believe that MacMillan also provide family support so worth asking them to help too if they aren't already. Apologies if you have all this stuff already, but in the spirit of providing some practical help, here goes:

www.cancer.gov/publications/patient-education/when-your-parent-has-cancer

www.canteen.org.au/how-we-help/books-resources/guide-to-canteen-for-parents-and-carers

This website has links to other age appropriate resources too.

www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/coping/mental-health-cancer/where-to-get-support/cancer-support-organisations/children-resources

www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/supporting-someone/emotional-support-for-family-and-friends/supporting-a-family-member-with-cancer

Your boy will get through this with you. It will be hard, but he will get through it. And it will become part of his story. It will give him strength, humility, a sense of what is important in life, a certainty of love and family. And certainty that he really, really loves his mum and that he can tell you and show you just that. ❤️

Big squeezy hugs to you and yours.

I’m sending good wishes from South London. You obviously mean a lot to so many people, including all us Mumsnetters. You didn’t choose any of this so try not to worry. I hope you’re comfortable tonight.

Joining all the others who have you in their hearts Pamela. Xxx

Hi Pamela, I hope you have had a comfortable day and will be able to get home really soon.

Someone upthread mentioned their location and it got me thinking, maybe it would be interesting for you to learn where we are all from, for those willing to reveal.

Sending you love, strength and all best wishes from the foot of the Malvern Hills in Worcestershire xx

Sending you best wishes from Lancashire 💕💐🙏🏽

Sending you a bedtime hug Pamela. We are with you as best we can be, trying to send you love and courage. Fuck cancer but go you! You have touched so many people in your daily life and now so many people here. Sending you all the love and praying for a peaceful night for you x

Pamela, I'm Victoria from Bath- and I'm thinking of you and have all my fingers crossed lovely xx miracles do happen

Pamela - I thought of you as soon as I woke up. I hope that doesn't sound creepy.

I am not religious but I have a little brooch in the shape of a hare which I have as a sort of talisman, so I am wearing that for you today.

Sending strength and hoping your pain is easier and that you have been able to rest.

Hi Pamela, I am not on MN much at the moment but I still pop on and off this thread. I'm Hilary in Canada and I am thinking of you and your family and sending you strength.

How are you feeling this morning Pamela? I hope the antibiotics have helped and you are more at ease. I’ve been thinking of you and your family a lot.

Pamela, good morning from Newcastle upon Tyne, hoping today is a better day for you and your pain is a bit more under control, sending love and best wishes to you and your lovely family xxx

Thinking of you this morning Pamela. I'm Anne, and I'm at the opposite end of this Island. I hope you're waking up to a brighter day today x

Good morning Pamela, from beautiful Northumberland. Sending love to you and your boys. I hope you are more comfortable and that a treatment plan is now in place ♥️

Sending a cool breeze and calming thoughts 🌴
Hope your night was bearable.

Good morning. I've been adding you into my prayers, I have a 17yo (18 on Wednesday) and I too would be in bits to see him like this. I hope they have been able to make you more comfortable and are able to get on with the necessaries today to start with a treatment plan for you.

And also hope the cooler weather here is with you too, you can tell you're old when you're happy to be wearing a cardigan

Good morning Pamela just sending you a hug and a wish for strength for you as you see what today brings. Lots of love to you x

Good morning Pamela, I hope you had a restful sleep and that you have a better day today. Sending lots of love and strength and hope to you and your wonderful husband and son.

You were kind enough to share your name with us so I'm signing off with my own. All the best from Ireland, Debs.